Bird Poop, It’s What’s Missing From Your Facial

There's an old superstition that if a bird poops on you, it's good luck. Well, I'll see this small splatter of crap and raise them an entire face full. Bird-poo facials are here, and they're apparently brilliant, according to The Telegraph.

Let's set aside my concern about how, exactly, someone figured out that smearing bird plop (and rosewater!) across your forehead resulted in radiant skin and look at the facts. These fecal facials originated in Korea about 1,000 years ago and are derived from the number twos of the Japanese bush warbler, a specific type of nightingale. They gained popularity among geishas to help balance their skin tone after their traditional makeup (which was chock-full of zinc and lead) left them a little worse for wear. Fast-forward to present day, and London ladies are shelling out £180 (just over $300) to get their faces smothered in poop.

Look, I'm willing to accept slime facials, bunion-eating fish, and all of the hundreds of weird beauty products that exist in the world. But, a girl's got to draw the line somewhere. In the article, the writer claims that after her stinky facial, her skin is "definitely brighter, cleaner, smoother than an hour before. Positively glowing, in fact." While I admire any woman who allows an aesthetician to apply fancy bird shit to her face with a paintbrush, my line lies firmly between my mug and all of that mess, no matter how radiantly I glow. Ladies, you're far braver than I. (The Telegraph)