Jesse Eisenberg is coming out...as a proud member of "Team Cat" — a "cat person" if you will — which, to Eisenberg, sounds sort of like saying he's a centaur. He's so adamant about his role supporting felines that he skipped this year's New Yorker Festival to take his own cat, Mr. Trunkles, on a relaxing vacation to Hawaii. They needed some time to bond as a couple.
As the video missive continues, however, the truth comes out. Eisenberg isn't in Hawaii after all. He's actually on 68th Street in Manhattan. His diabolical pet is holding him hostage. Jesse Eisenberg is afraid for his life, and it's all because of a black-and-white kitty.
"[Cats] are the greatest species on Earth. Are they better than dogs? I don't know, but I know Mr. Trunkles is the best friend for me," Eisenberg concludes. It's all a plea for the the festival's debate about which furry pets reign supreme to choose cats. Jesse Eisenberg's fate remains in the balance. Please, won't you all consider Mr. Trunkles and his hostage on 68th street? #teamcat (The New Yorker)