Update: To the surprise of no one, shipping someone a bag of dicks is going viral on the eve of April Fools' Day. More than 5,000 customers have ordered Bags Of Dicks to be sent to Kanye West and Justin Bieber in response to the "Buy One, Give One" promotion from the site. At 100 gummies per delivery, that's over half a million candy dicks. You can still join in on the fun by entering the offer code KANYE or BIEBER before end of the day on April 1. It remains to be seen whether these phallic sweets will actually end up in the hands of Yeezus and the Biebs, but we have to admit that the marketing ploy — perfectly timed to this week's Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber — is pretty ingenious.
I’ve always been jealous of people who are good at quick, sharp-witted comebacks when they're insulted (I usually get all silent, red-faced, and flustered). But, today, when I learned that you can send someone a bag of edible dicks (they’re penis-shaped gummy bears!), I felt like this would be a great substitute for my lack of comeback skills. A company called Dicks by Mail will send a package of edible gummy dicks to the person of your choice and include a note that says, “EAT A BAG OF DICKS.” Did you note there is no sign-off? That's right — it's completely anonymous.
Now, I am usually not one for these types of mean pranks, but I have to admit that I LOL’ed when I first read this, and have been chuckling uncontrollably at my desk as I write this. If someone sent me a bag of dicks, I am sure I’d be slightly insulted, but I'd also probably think that the sender is hilarious and obviously someone I should be friends with, and therefore apologize to. Also, if I sent someone a bag of dicks, I think I would eventually reveal myself to them (sending anonymous anger doesn’t resolve that much, does it?). Let’s turn to Louis CK for advice on this.
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