Josh Duggar may be cloistered away in a Christian rehabilitation facility. But his wife and the mother of his four children, Anna Duggar, is still just trying to get through each day.
Anna, who has moved in with her in-laws along with her three boys and infant daughter, spoke candidly to cameras during the second part of the TLC special, Jill & Jessa: Counting On, which aired December 20.
The 27-year-old explained that while she knew about the police report — in which Josh was shown to have molested underage girls, including sisters Jessa and Jill, during his teen years — she was unprepared for the news of her husband's infidelity.
"Things were definitely calming down in the media when [the new baby] Meredith was born," Anna explained in a one-on-one interview. "Then the second wave of media reports came out about Joshua's unfaithfulness..." She trailed off, pausing, seemingly holding back tears. She said that initially she didn't believe the information: She really thought they had a "strong marriage."
"It just felt like a bad dream," she said of the cheating scandal. "It didn't seem possible."
With her wedding band still sparkling on her left ring finger, in the episode, Ann shared intimate details about what she's been going through over the past several months. "I think it is such a betrayal for a spouse to go through what we're walking through," she shared. "It was hard to realize that it was such a public thing. Not only it was a betrayal against me, but it was also a betrayal against those who call themselves Christians."
Despite believing that the loyalty in their marriage is broken, Anna Duggar remains committed to her husband. "When your world is shattered there are a lot of emotions that you have to walk through... I know there are those that feel that I have every right to walk away from this marriage."
"In my heart," she shared, "I vowed to God first, and then to Joshua, 'For better for worse, 'till death do we part'... My prayer and my heart's desire is for our marriage to be restored."
Jill & Jessa: Counting On will conclude next Sunday night on TLC.