The 14 Best Santa Beards, Ranked By Math & Beardiness

Let's get real — not all rosy cheeks and bushy white facial hair were created equal. But how do you break down which Saint Nick wears the beard best? To figure it out, we created a formula based upon the classic holiday poem, "'Twas the Night Before Christmas."

Points were assigned based on the following Santa criteria: beard color, volume, and overall grooming. Because it is frankly impossible to evaluate a Santa beard on its own, a number of other factors — including rosiness of cheeks, dimples, and eye twinkles — were also included in our analysis. Beards were awarded points on a sliding scale, per characteristic, with up to three points per category. An additional point was awarded if the Santa in question appeared to have a belly that could potentially shake like “a bowl full of jelly” when he laughs. A point was deducted if the signature red-and-white hat was missing. Final point tallies determined overall Santa rankings.

Ho, ho, ho — let the judging begin!