It only took three episodes of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for me to definitively say that I like it. Coming off of heavy drama Monday’s with Love & Hip Hop, RHOBH is like getting into an ice bath after a workout, except the ice is diamonds and the tub is filled with expensive Champagne.
In episode 3, I finally got to know more about Eileen, formerly known as Blonde Number 2. Her mother has recently passed away and she makes an emotional final trip to her mom’s house to gather some keepsakes. Eileen shares a heartbreaking story about her mother, who was her best friend, being overtaken by dementia. And apparently that’s not the only loss weighing on her. In a relatively short period of time, Eileen has experienced the deaths of her sister and niece as well. She talks to a therapist about her grief and the shame she feels about her emotional state. My heart aches for her.
I also got to see more of Kyle’s life as she traveled to New York City with her daughter Sophia to make preparations for the opening of her permanent store. Store owner is apparently only one of her jobs. She is going to be producing the scripted series based on her life as an 70’s adolescent. She’s already cast Alicia Silverstone to play her mom – which feels weird to write because Silverstone will always be teenaged Cher to me. But that’s where Kyle’s impressiveness ends for me. Back in Beverly Hills, she decides to wear white underwear beneath an all white jumpsuit, a fashion mistake that even I know not to make, and is self conscious about the fact that they’re showing through the fabric. But she moves from harmless mistake to gross when she asks to borrow underwear from her friends. Who does that? No one has any extra knickers laying around, especially not Erika Jayne, but more on that later.
Lisa Rinna and her two daughters hit NYC at the same time as Kyle so that her eldest, Delilah, can take a meeting with CR Fashion Book. Because she’s obsessed, Rinna recounts her apology to Lisa Vanderpump in the last episode. During Delilah’s meeting with CR, she sees a picture of Gigi Hadid and vocalizes her aspiration to be like her. That’s when I got the biggest surprise of the night. Yolanda is Gigi’s mom. Mind. Blown. I also learned that Rinna feels responsible for ruining her relationship with Yolanda when she accused her of having munchausen syndrome. I finally broke down and googled munchausen. I’m assuming Yolanda was/is really sick and that’s why she is rightfully offended by the unwarranted diagnosis. Later, during dinner with Delilah, her younger daughter Amelia, Kyle, and Sophia, Rinna is mortified to learn that Delilah is on a dating app for “really special” people. I’m assuming she’s talking about The League and at only 18, her excitement about it is indeed, as Kyle put it, a little sketch. Also it could have been just me, but Sophia seems completely over Delilah and Amelia.
At the home base, Dorit spends a little bit of time with her young children before shopping with Vanderpump for Ken, her husband’s, birthday gift. Contrary to my assumption, Vanderpump actually has some budget criteria. A $920,000 watch at Hublot is way too expensive. Same. She settles for a $25,000 watch instead. Not the same. I also noticed that the Vanderpump's are the most annoying dog parents ever. There is hardly a moment where one of them isn’t holding a dog. Ken can’t open his birthday gift for cradling a pooch and Vanderpump allows her dog to rest on Hublot’s glass case.
But Vanderpump has two free hands when she goes under Erika Jayne’s dress, looking for a pair of underwear to lend Kyle. She strikes out because Erika isn’t wearing any. (I seriously love her.) It’s obvious that Erika isn’t as enamored with Vanderpump as Rinna is, and checks her right away for overstepping. Vanderpump is all, “I’m not American. Everything is funny to me. Wah. Wah,” and Erika is having none of it. Despite her risqué onstage persona, she insists that she is an introvert who needs time to warm up to people before she trusts them, or let them explore what’s under her dress. I don’t blame her.
But someone else explored the area with his eyes. Dorit’s husband PK. Here comes trouble.
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