“Broquets” Are The Newest Unnecessarily Gendered Fad

Despite what you may think, one man simply cannot give another man flowers. No, if men want to express affection towards one another, there's only one way to do it: with beef. That's the kind of weird philosophy behind Say It With Beef's new-ish creation, the Broquet. Discovered by SomeEcards, a Broquet is a bunch of flowers made out of beef jerky for the man in your life who wouldn't be caught dead with a plant. "What does one dude get another dude who is in the hospital without it being awkward?" the website reads. "That was the question that one computer systems engineer thought as he sat in his cubicle. When one of his coworkers nearly died and was hospitalized, he wanted to get him something. What do you get for someone who is sick? Flowers, right? Sure, but one dude getting another dude flowers would be just...well, weird." Yeah, so weird. Almost as weird as giving someone severely ill a handful of meat rather than some flowers and a card expressing sympathy. Despite the flawed reasoning, this dilemma led to the creation of the beef jerky flowers, now available as roses or daisies for just $35. In addition to the style, you can choose between original, peppered, teriyaki, and mixed flavor, as well as either a pint glass or beer mug, because as everyone knows, you can't serve jerky flowers in a vase. All joking aside, let's just agree that beef flowers sound strangely delicious, we should just be allowed to give them to whoever, whenever we want. Maybe also with a bouquet of the real thing to balance out the smell.