There are those moments in life that are so awkward that you almost can't stand them, but for some reason you just can't look away. Call it the train wreck effect. That is the best way to describe Jessica Simpson's latest interview with Ellen DeGeneres, which you may find yourself cringe-watching.
Simpson was on the daytime talk show to chat about her fashion line and her new music, but it almost immediately got off to a weird start. DeGeneres started the interview by asking if Simpson was pregnant because the last two times she was on the show she was. The mother of two was quick to say she wasn't, explaining that she has an IUD. "Nothing is gonna get in that uterus," Simpson said.
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DeGeneres seemed a little weirded out by Simpson's answer, which bless her heart, was an honest one, but it set the tone for the rest of the sit-down. Soon, Simpson was talking about her daughter's mermaid-themed birthday party where women dressed as mermaids had to be carried to the bathroom because "they can’t pee on my children in the pool."
Then Simpson had trouble remembering how long exactly she and her husband, Eric Johnson, have been together — seven years, she thinks? — and accidentally put her foot in her mouth. “I don’t know if I’ve ever had a seven-year relationship other than with a woman,” Simpson said, before clarifying that she meant a friendship. That was only before she basically said that her and her hubby have nothing in common other than that they both love their kids.
Throughout the interview, Simpson didn't really elaborate on her answers, which meant DeGeneres had to do a lot of the work. Not to mention she made a lot of Jim Halpert faces to the camera. At one point, DeGeneres seemed to give up and decided to focus on picking on Simpson. When Simpson said she thought it was 10 years since she first started her clothing company, DeGeneres clapped back, "We know you're not good with numbers, cause you don't even know how long you've been married."
Her jokes about Simpson being bad at math just made things even more awkward. It brought back flashbacks of Simpson's Newlywed years, you know, when she was supposed to just be the "dumb blonde" who didn't know what the heck was in Chicken of the Sea. That schtick feels a little old now that Simpson runs a billion dollar empire as does Simpson's response that the fact she has such a successful company means "it can happen to anyone." Come on girl, don't sell yourself short.
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After nearly five minutes — though, honestly, it feels like way longer — and another joke about Simpson's inability to do math, DeGeneres gives one last exasperated look to the camera and cuts to commercial, freeing us from this terrible interview, which we don't want see ever again. Or, maybe just one more time? Just to figure out what the heck is going on her. Seriously, it's mesmerizing and a lot of other things.
If you want to see it for yourself, press play below, but you've been warned.