It’s a little known fact that the first draft of the Declaration of Independence read, “...life, liberty, and the pursuit of white teeth.” Yes, it’s true*: The real reason our forefathers came over and
started this great country of ours was to pursue that aching, obsessive desire for gleaming, gorgeous, seemingly unattainble, white-as-can-be-yet-natural-looking teeth. Perhaps it’s in our DNA, and we’re subconsciously picking potential mates with perceived healthy mouths, but until we map the part of the brain that sets off the hotness alarm when a gleaming white smile comes our way, let’s just accept that we like white teeth. I’m especially reminded of this particular American Dream around summertime, when everyone from brides to younguns with Hamptons shares are begging me to guide them through the jungle of teeth whitening options. And it is a jungle, folks, so hop in my Jeep and listen closely — it’s about to get serious.
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