8 Reasons We’re Not Down With The Low-Rise Revival

This week, Vogue heralded the return of the low-rise jean. Not just low-rise, actually: "ultra low-rise." Writer Kelly Connor credits a recent music-documentary binge for her renewed interest in the trend, citing such legends of classic rock as Jim Morrison and Robert Plant.

This writer certainly sees the allure of the midcentury man-god and his hipbone-revealing pants. It was my teenage glimpse of Mick Jagger rooster-walking and soliciting sympathy for the devil in a pair of mulberry hip-huggers that put me on a years-long quest to find my own pair. Still, I must caution against the revival of the ultra-low-rise pant.

See, we've been through this before. The Vogue article positions low-rise jeans as dovetailing nicely with fashion's current '70s obsession. But, let's not forget the last time our infatuation with the "Me" Decade led to a completely ill-advised revival of the ultra-low-rise: the late '90s and early 2000s. The endgame of low-rise obsession is not cool, sexy, rock 'n' roll pants; it is mangled denim and wanton pubic-bone-baring.

Today, we present scenes from the last low-rise revival — and demand that we never again return to the days of the five-inch rise.