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Celebrating milestones with loved ones is one of life's purest forms of joy. There's something undeniably special about the dressing up, cocktails, cake and general good vibes captured in Instagram stories as memories forever. But alas, these events can have a hefty toll on your wallet.
Sometimes it can feel like everyone is celebrating some event in the same two-month span. While it technically is a nice problem to have (and extroverts who enjoy a jam-packed social calendar may jump for joy), the looming stress of financing gifts can prevail. As I've grown older, I have come to understand the dread my mother would feel every time I came home with an invitation for a 16th birthday which ultimately meant buying another present.
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What makes things even harder is that there are so many implied social rules around gift-giving that we feel to need to adhere to — a 21st birthday means a bigger gift than last year, a family member's marriage means an engagement gift, a wedding gift and a fancy new outfit, and gift for a departing manager at a new job might mean a $40 minimum spend.
We don't have to preach again about how insane the cost of living crisis is. But if you can't even buy a capsicum without thinking twice these days, how the hell are you supposed to buy meaningful and thoughtful gifts without going broke?
Well, the not-so-fun logical route is budgeting. That is, of course, if saying no to attending things entirely isn't off the cards (which we're going to assume isn't the case). Read on for some inspiration from eight women on how they're navigating gift-giving budgets right now.
Tash, 32, she/her
What's your go-to gift-giving budget?
My close friends always pitch in together for each others' birthdays — our rule is $40 for 'non-special' birthdays and $80-$100 for 'special' birthdays.
Do you set different budgets for different occasions?
For friends I am not super close with, I tend to buy them drinks if we catch up for their birthday. For weddings, I usually put aside $150-$300 (pending where the wedding is, whether I have travelled and how close I am to the couple). And for colleagues' gifts, if they're going away or having a baby, it's usually $10-$20, depending on how close we are.
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What's the largest amount you've ever spent on a gift?
I spent just over $1000 on a gift for my husband. It was a lot of cash for me, but seeing him so grateful and happy was the best feeling.
K, 25, she/her
What's your go-to gift-giving budget?
My friend group consists of 10 people, and we all put in for a present per person per year. So if you times $X by 10, it adds up quickly! We usually stick to the $30 mark for regular birthdays and splurge up to $50 per person for the bigger ones such as 18ths, 21sts, 25ths etc. I often try and shop sales events (like Black Friday around Christmas time for gifts) and use cashback services like Cashrewards to ensure I'm getting the best deal on things too.
Do you set different budgets for different occasions?
It's usually $30-$50 for birthdays and $100 for weddings (however, usually people say you pay for your seat, right? The bougie-r the wedding, the bigger the cash). I typically spend $10 on colleagues. If you're going to a huge party where you're not that close to the person, it's OK not to get a gift.
What's the largest amount you've ever spent on a gift?
$1000 on my boyfriend's birthday present. It was 100% worth it — it was a getaway, so it was also a present to me.
Ellie, 27, she/her
What's your go-to gift-giving budget?
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I am all over the shop and don't set budgets! I'm an impulsive spender, especially when it comes to buying gifts. I get so caught up in getting something perfect for the person that when it's right, I'll buy it — whatever the cost.
Do you set different budgets for different occasions?
Of course, it depends on how long you've known the giftee or how close you are. But I usually do $40-$100 for birthdays. Weddings are wild to me, and definitely somewhere I think we can tone it back. I just bought an engagement present for $100 and regret it already because of how much I know I'll spend on the wedding. For weddings, I feel like I spend somewhere between $100-$150, which I kind of understand when we're getting a heap of free booze and food.
I also think it's fine not to get someone a gift in certain situations! I don't think people care that much about receiving a present — shout them a coffee or a drink the next time you see them, and that's plenty.
What's the most you've ever spent on a gift?
I think the largest has been a few hundred on a straightener for my best friend, and it was worth it! She had wanted one for so long and was so excited. She is also infinitely more generous than me with her time and energy, so it's nice to give something back. Also, I had no better ideas for that birthday which sounds like a silly reason, but sometimes paying a bit extra to take the mental load away is absolutely worth it in my eyes.
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Shantelle, 27, she/her
What's your go-to gift-giving budget?
I have recently only started setting one, considering how everything is going in this economy. It depends on the situation and the person and how much disposable money I have now.
Do you set different budgets for different occasions?
It depends on the age they're turning for birthdays! If they're turning 25 or any sort of milestone age, I feel like I need to get something big and extravagant and go over budget (anything over $50). But I also pitch in $20 for big group gifts for these types of birthdays, if I don't want to buy a gift on my own. I feel like the minimum for a wedding would be $100. Since they've spent so much of their money planning and organising the wedding, I feel like that's an appropriate amount for all the free food and vibes we get!
When I don't know a person well, and I've been invited to their party as a plus one, I usually don't buy a gift — or if someone has asked me to a party last minute to fill their quota.
What's the most you've ever spent on a gift?
I spent $200 on my last partner for Christmas. My favourite thing about giving any gift is seeing the face of the person who receives it, knowing that I NAILED it. So it was worth it!
Ash, 34, she/her
What's your go-to gift-giving budget?
The budget is based on who the person is to me, their financial situation, and what the event is.
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Do you set different budgets for different occasions?
For my two best friends, it's usually $100 each. For anyone else, it's either a bottle of spirits worth around $60. I usually go with $100-$150 for weddings if it's local and you're not part of the party.
If I'm going to a housewarming, destination wedding, or engagement party, I don't buy gifts (you'll get one at the wedding). However, if birthday celebrations involve going to a restaurant and paying for your meal and drinks, I think it's totally fine not to buy a gift.
What's the most you've ever spent on a gift?
I spent $1000 on a TV for my ex, which was half mine. He kept it in the separation, but I took the fridge, so...
Thalia, 22, she/her
What's your go-to gift-giving budget?
I don't have a strict one. I just gauge how close I am to the person, what kind of occasion it is (e.g. a big birthday like a 21st means a more expensive present), how my finances are looking at the time of purchasing as well as whether I am splitting it with someone or going in alone.
Do you set different budgets for different occasions?
I think a general birthday gift budget for me is $25-$70 (either alone or per person). For weddings, I go with $100-$150 at this current stage (and salary) and would probably try to pool with others to get something big that the new bride and groom want and need.
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I think gift-giving should NOT be an expectation. I like to take people on an experience or shout dinner next time we catch up in place of a tangible gift. If I'm not close, I think even just flowers or bringing a bottle of wine suffices — especially if you're not financially responsible for a full-blown pressie.
What's the most you've ever spent on a gift?
Probably $100 or so! I had been a student until last year, so I had to be mindful of money. I think it was worth it — I love my friends, so it's worth seeing them smile. The only time it wasn't worth it was when someone I know didn't even say thank you.
Jasmine, 26, she/her
What's your go-to gift-giving budget?
It's not very strict! I determine it by what my friend/family member and I have given each other.
Do you set different budgets for different occasions?
There are so many factors depending on this, though. For example, do you work full-time, and can you afford it? Are you spending money on a dinner or road trip for the person's birthday? The same goes for weddings — it depends on how far you've travelled and what money you've put in to be there. In some cases, your presence is the present!
I gave $100 at my friend's wedding in Brisbane but didn't contribute a gift or money to a family friend's wedding in Portugal, given that I'd dropped thousands on flights to be there.
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Although, I think in some instances (especially in these hard economic times) it's OK to not give a gift.
What's the most you've ever spent on a gift?
Off the top of my head, I bought my Dad a $200 Chanel cologne last Christmas. It was a splurge, but I knew he'd use it and that he needed it! No regrets.
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