How Heartbreak High’s Ca$h Helped Me Come To Terms With Being Asexual

“Do you not want to have sex with anyone, or just me?” – Darren Rivers, Heartbreak High

This is perhaps the most anxiety-inducing question that someone could ask an asexual person.

Growing up during the ‘sexual liberation’ of the 2000s (albeit a largely heterosexual, thin, white liberation) was quite an uncomfortable time for a young asexual woman. When asked the question, “Team Edward or Team Jacob?” I was stumped. I could not find the words to say that I wasn’t attracted to either of them. Even if I was asked whether I wanted to kiss Santana Lopez from Glee, my answer would still be no.

When I finally had my first kiss at 18, I did not feel a single firework, despite having a crush on them for over a year. I started to wonder if I was broken, or if everyone else felt this way and was just lying about these mysterious sparks you're meant to feel.

Upon researching and watching endless YouTube videos and TikToks, my search for my identity was clear: I am asexual. When I first came to this realisation, I was elated, as for the first time in my life, I knew who I was.

AVEN (The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network) defines asexuality as “someone who does not experience sexual attraction or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships”. This does not account for all the people who fall under the asexual umbrella, such as gray-asexual and demisexual (which I identify as), along with many more identities.

I did not feel comfortable sharing my feelings and newfound identity due to some unsavoury interactions with people close to me. That was until the reboot of Heartbreak High came to Netflix and brought with it an exceedingly diverse cast. This show has been universally praised for its authentically diverse depiction of Indigenous Australians, autism, non-binary people, and asexuality.

Heartbreak High’s depiction of Ca$h is a watershed moment for asexual representation in media. Asexuality has long been a taboo topic in media, with very few notable asexual figures in pop culture, with Todd Chaves from BoJack Horseman being the primary example.

The GLAAD ‘Where We Are on TV’ 2021-22 report states that there are only two asexual characters on TV in that season — one from Genera+ion, and the other from an upcoming streaming series, which is presumably Ca$h.

We are in a new era of teen TV that that is striving to be relatable to Gen Z, which is often full of cringey, inauthentic dialogue and social justice virtue signalling. From Euphoria to Sex Education to the Gossip Girl reboot, these series depict teenagers in hypersexualised situations, with all the main cast being extremely sexually liberated. This is not the reality for much of Gen Z, as according to a Rutgers University study, we are proven to be having less casual sex than previous generations. 

But why is television so apprehensive about depicting asexuality? In short, as the adage goes, sex sells.

Heartbreak High, however, is dismantling the norms that have been upheld in teen dramas for far too long. In comes Douglas “Ca$h” Piggot, the introverted, closeted, Eshay played exceptionally by William McDonald. The viewers’ first introduction to Ca$h is his classmates mocking him by saying, “eshay brah”.

Ca$h is decked out in stereotypical Eshay clothes, from the Tommy Hilfiger polo shirt to the silver chain necklace and crossbody bag. While the sight of Eshays on television is uncommon outside of the news, they are certainly familiar to Aussies in real life, and much maligned due to their reputation for violence and toxic masculinity.

Despite this unsavoury introduction, Ca$h finds himself growing close to Darren, a Black, queer, non-binary classmate, and they soon fall for one another. After their first kiss at Mardi Gras, Darren grows paranoid that Ca$h is not attracted to them. This culminates in episode 5, in which Darren grows increasingly impatient and concerned about the stagnating sexual nature of their relationship, and Ca$h struggles to express his lack of sexual feelings.

This scene perfectly encapsulates the fear of judgement that many asexual people feel when they express their own sexual boundaries. When Ca$h says, “I’m just not wired that way”, the moment rings true to asexual people everywhere, as we feel like we are the weird ones since we are often not accepted and understood by the people around us.

This moment was also important because it showcased the disconnect and innate friction between other members of the LGBTQIA+ community and asexual people. This can be attributed to how a lot of members of the queer community define themselves in the community by who they are sexually attracted to. For asexual people, they are a part of the community by not feeling attraction to anyone.

When Darren stated humorously, “only serial killers take it slow”, they likened asexual people to serial killers and thereby othered a whole community just for existing outside of the perceived binaries of sexual attraction.

In the penultimate episode of the season, Darren and Ca$h have a frank conversation about Ca$h’s sexual feelings and boundaries. Ca$h says that he does not want to have sex with anyone, ever, despite feeling romantically attracted to Darren and enjoying kissing them. The two honestly discuss their difference in sex drives and how this could potentially ruin their relationship and regretfully decide to remain friends. Despite this, while on the brink of being arrested, Ca$h declares his love for Darren and they embrace as Aussie anthem Strawberry Kisses by Nikki Webster serenades them. This moment shows that despite differing levels of sexual attraction, a relationship can still flourish.

Ca$h’s storyline in Heartbreak High is an illuminating one for both asexual and allosexual people, and it addresses and deconstructs many of the assumptions about asexual people head on. This relationship is also the most popular pairing of the show and the phrase ‘Ca$h Heartbreak High Asexual’ has amassed almost 2 million views on TikTok. With the renewal for a second season, it's obvious that many fans are keen to learn more about Ca$h.

I feel, as if for the first time, that I can confidently call myself asexual without a hint of shame, and this is all due to the transcendent and empowering portrayal of an asexual person discovering their identity.

Thank you, Heartbreak High, for making me feel seen — for the first and hopefully not the last time.