The Answer To Loneliness? For These Women, It’s Book Clubs

Every month, it seems like more of my friends are joining book clubs — I’ve just joined one too — and they’re going for the social element of the monthly meet ups, rather than for the sake of reading alone. 

Making friends as an adult is hard, and we’re seeing loneliness become a recurring issue for people in their 20s and 30s — decades that are stereotypically portrayed as being the most sociable phase in a person’s life. Too many studies conclude, like this one, that Gen Z, more so than any other generation, are likely to say they “often” or “always” feel alone. The act of reading is a solo experience, but book clubs are all about people. Cheaper to partake in than many other group-based activities, book clubs are becoming an antidote for young people feeling lonely across the world. 

As the popularity of books surges (print adult fiction book sales were up 8.5% in 2022), young people are taking the opportunity to marry together books and socialising. A seven-month-old book club for 20-somethings in London, called It’s HardBack Out Here, created by 24-year-old university friends Emily D’Souza, Hana Owens and Josh Pullinger, has seen people from all over the city arrive over a shared love of books and desire to meet new people. “People tend to come alone, or with people they’ve met through the book club,” D’Souza tells Refinery29. The trio were keen to make the book club an IRL experience after D’Souza set up a digital one during lockdown. After the pandemic, Owens felt “we kind of had enough of online connection” with young people instead craving in-person experiences. Pullinger adds: “Reading is a solitary activity — you read a book, then you just put it down and leave it.” They are keen to change this by using books as “vehicles for people to share things about themselves,” helping to create bonds between attendees. Last month’s theme was love, featuring Natasha Lunn’s Conversations on Love, and openness was encouraged between those willing to share.

Historically branded as an older person’s issue, loneliness is a very real problem among Gen Z and millennials. Lucy Pearson set up The Bondi Literary Salon when she moved three years ago to Sydney, Australia, and says it’s been a “huge source of wonderful friendships,” and next month will be reading Good Material by Dolly Alderton. Jessica Bethel, 29, started Literature Noir — focusing on BIPOC literature, with the group’s next book being Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei–Brenyah — after moving to Los Angeles, US, while in search of new friendships. Three years on, she says: “It’s what I needed to feel less lonely out here and find a sense of local community.” Alexandra Holker, 27, from London, founded Spare Ribs Club, a feminist literature group for women in their 20s with over 300 members. Their last book was The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. It’s been so successful in creating friendships that Holker says “the community has multiple Spare Ribs ‘houses’, so flatmates who have found each other via the group.” Tanya*, 29, from Lincoln in the UK, created a book club two years ago to build her social life after relocating to a village. “Unless you had a child, went to church, or had a dog, it was very hard to meet people,” she says. Meck, 32, relocated to Dallas, US, and also found new friendships via a book club, in which hanging out after the book discussion is part of the dynamic. Olivia, 28, joined one in New York last year with former colleagues and says it’s become “a real light in [her] life,” thanks to the monthly meets that have maintained friendships that otherwise might have been lost. 

There is undoubtedly a DIY nature to book clubs, in which people who are experiencing loneliness, wanting to expand their social circle, or are lacking friends with common interests, are simply getting up and doing it. The motivation to create these spaces for the self and others is admirable, as this generation of people are facing the consequences of a life lived online, with scrapped social funding, and remote working. It’s HardBack Out Here started by setting up Instagram and TikTok accounts, then finding spaces to host the large group of people who followed (some 2,000). Tickets for their events are around £5 each time, depending on the venue needed (as their events are popular). Smaller book groups can run out of living rooms for free or at local cafes over a cup of coffee. While sports groups, for example, create camaraderie, they often come with high upfront equipment and kit costs plus membership. Book clubs offer a cheaper way into a regular group activity, which isn’t amiss at a time of high inflation, a cost of living crisis, and a recession. To save money on books, Meck checks libraries first, but failing that spends around $15 per book. In the grand scheme of how costly it can be to socialise — think, over a meal or in a bar — forking out once a month or so for a book isn’t the biggest expense, though access to libraries helps. 

James Smith, senior lecturer in literature and theory at Royal Holloway, University of London, and author of Work Want Work, says the growing popularity of book clubs can only be “a good thing”. “The loneliness of young people in this more online, more antisocial world is well-documented,” he tells Refinery29. “Less well known is something every humanities academic would be able to tell you: That young people’s stamina and motivation for independent reading has fallen off a cliff. The earliest novels in English in the 18th century were debated and discussed in letters between readers of both sexes, and in coffee houses. Novels have never just been a silent exchange between an author and an isolated reader.” Literature has always had the power to foster connections.

Although meeting in person is preferable for those in want of new friends, the beauty of book clubs is they can be held anywhere and it would be wrong to ignore the space the book scene has occupied online. BookTok, which has over 220 billion views, has no doubt breathed fresh life into the industry — author Angelica Malin posted on X (formerly Twitter): “Say what you like about TikTok, but my family owns the Notting Hill Bookshop (yes, the one from the film) and the surge in young people buying books in the last year because of booktok has been wonderful to see. It's making reading cool again & I will always love the app for that.” 

Many book communities have started in the digital space, then grown outwards into real life where possible. Tatiana Fiorotto, 27, from São Paulo, Brazil, is part of an online global monthly club with people from all over the world. They speak in English as it’s the one language everyone knows. “I have always loved reading, and my whole life it was a very isolated hobby because none of my friends liked reading, or at least reading the same books I did,” she says. “Besides the meetings, we also have a group chat we talk in during the month.” As one of her friends from São Paulo is in the club too, she’s found they now meet up more regularly in real life as a result of the online club and their friendship is stronger for this shared interest. 

Book clubs have been so successful in easing loneliness that some people have joined multiple. Refinery29’s L’Oréal Blackett, from Manchester, UK, is part of three now, after wanting to make the lonesome act of reading “more social”. The clubs range from having three attendees to 50, and currently she’s reading Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson. “I really wanted to meet new people with a mutual interest. I don’t meet new people as often, especially working from home,” Blackett says. A study on loneliness in the workplace found 73% of Gen Z in the US are affected by this, with limited face-to-face contact no doubt being a culprit. “The most recent book club I joined has led to me meeting some incredible people who I genuinely think are turning into friends, because we have such a wealth of chat,” she adds, “and for once, I’m expressing a side of myself that with my main friendship groups I don’t always get to explore.” Blackett’s social life is “better off” for being a part of these groups, and it gives her something to “look forward to in a quiet month, helping with any feelings of loneliness.” 

The wellbeing impact of something as simple as joining a book club shouldn’t be underestimated, says Caroline Plumer, psychotherapist at CPPC London: “Sharing interests with friends can be a double dopamine hit: there’s the joy of doing something you find fun and engaging, coupled with the comfort of being surrounded by people whose company you enjoy. This gives us a sense of belonging which can positively impact our self esteem.” Olivia, 27, London, thought a book club would benefit her social life, and by default, her mental health, too — the last book she read for it was Toni Morrisson’s Beloved. “London isn’t the easiest place to make friends,” she says, “and I was feeling like I didn’t have enough people to socialise with after moving here. I found a book club via Facebook and it’s been easy to meet people then arrange to catch up outside of the club. I’m introverted and can end up sitting at home, doing activities by myself, then stop making an effort socialising, which means I stop getting invited to things. If I’m feeling down, it’s good to have a commitment to go out and see people. To protect my mental health, I proactively put things in place — book club is one of those.”

One book at a time, friendships are growing for those embracing the book club boom.