MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 13: Half Of These Couples Need To Break Up Already

It's the second Commitment Ceremony of the 2024 season of Married At First Sight, and after last week's dinner party, I'm honestly kinda scared for what's in store for episode 13.

The episode kicks off with Tori and Jack, with Tori still reeling over her argument with Tim at the dinner party. Then Jack surprises us all and reads out a poem he's written for her. Honestly, despite the villain music in the background and my absolute disgooooost for this bloke, it's actually a pretty cute moment?!

Then we're back with Lucinda and Tim, with Lucinda sharing how uncomfortable and upset she was about Tim's actions at the dinner party. "We are the weakest link," Lucinda says to him, saying that she's in "deep assessment" mode about their relationship. Lucinda says she and Tim are on different pages and that she's done with trying so hard to gain his affection. She pops on a lavish silver fur coat and walks around like the BOSS she is.

We cut to Ellie, who says she's "emotionally exhausted" from how up and down her relationship has been with Ben, as well as the obvious emotional hangover from him mocking her and saying the two of them weren't a match. (But don't worry guys, he's suddenly decided he wants kids so it's all good!!!). She ponders whether she will write 'stay' or 'leave', and I'm literally begginggggggg Ellie to put us out of our misery and leave his ass.

Over with Sara and Tim, the two are staying in different apartments and haven't spoken since the dinner party. So it's all going swimmingly, really! Tim reckons Sara isn't giving the relationship a real go and says they're star-crossed lovers in a Shakespearean tragedy. Tim had better watch himself because if he's going to quote Shakespeare willy-nilly, the man is going to have his DMs inundated with thirsty literature girls like me.

Finally, the couples pile in for the Commitment Ceremony, and they're kicking off with the drama this ep, as Ellie and Ben are called up first. Ellie reiterates how hurt she is after #MockGate and Expert Alessandra is looking at Ben like she's going to eat him alive. Ellie then throws Ben under the bus even more and tells the experts that Ben said he wasn't her match — and despite the experts' shock, we'd have to agree with him at this stage. In what way are these two even remotely compatible?

Expert John is looking at him like wtf who is this bloke? and asks Ben if he really wants to be in the experiment. "I've asked you a really straightforward question," John says. "What's the answer?" Of course, Ben realises that if he says nahhhh actually I'm leaving, then his podcast career will likely be over, so says he's in.

After watching Ben's shit, Andrea decides to put in her two cents, telling Ellie that she's previously been with someone who was insecure and constantly putting her down, saying that she's getting a similar vibe from Ben. As if the entire room is inspired by Andrea's comments, both Lauren and Jayden decide to pipe up and say that they're also not buying Ben's shit.

Ben tries to convince everyone that actually, he really really really really really really really really really really really really really does want kids, so there!

Unfortunately, the two of them both write 'STAY', and everyone is collectively sighing and shaking their heads. Oh dear, dear, dear, dear. John iconically tells Ben that he's close to being "dead in the water" and needs to be "careful with his words", and we love it when dad has a tough conversation with his kids.

Next up on the couch is Tori and Jack, who says that Tori is a "strong, well-voiced girl." Eghhhhh. Expert Alessandra asks Timothy to share his thoughts on the couple, and we're like, damn, we're doing Round Two already?! Alessandra, feeding the drama monster, encourages Tim to talk about how he doesn't believe their relationship and that he doesn't regret what he said at the dinner party. Unsurprisingly, Tori backs their relationship.

Again, Alessandra asks the two of them if they've boned, and they're like, nah, but Jack is "wooing the girl". He then brings up that he wrote a poem and at this stage, I'm like, did you just write a poem to deflect from the whole intimacy conversation? Jack says Tori is a "babe", and Tori says that Jack is the "perfect amount of dominant".

Then it's decision time, and unsurprisingly, the two them write 'STAY' — and you could cut the tension with a knife. "Good luck with your six-month relationship," Tim says in a confessional. Despite how much I despise this bloke, these are one of the better relationships we'll watch tonight. If Jack and Tori are beating you, you know your relo sucks.

Because we're clearly getting all the drama out as quickly as possible, Lucinda and Tim are up on the couch next. They jump right into it with Lucinda saying she's "humiliated" about him dating 23-year-olds, pointing the finger at other couples, and him not being humble.

Queen Lucinda, ever the beautiful hippie goddess, asks Timothy what kind of "frequency" Tim wants to be projecting and if he wants to be the guy that makes people laugh or alternatively, if he wants to be a sour douche who's more invested in other people's relationships than his own (okay, so those might not have been her exact words, but it's the essence of it).

Then Lucinda whips out possibly the most Lucinda line ever, saying, "I'm not interested to be traversing and journeying alongside somebody that's just so up you to the world and pointing these fingers," she says. "That's not my jam and that's not something I really stand by." Look, I'm not really a crystal girlie, but if Lucinda gave me a rose quartz, I could be persuaded.

Lucinda says she's been hurt throughout a lot of the experience and that she has to keep forgiving and resetting, but this week, she's finally had it. "I've been in the observation seat, so I've been seeing what I'd really be signing up for," she says. "Am I signing up for minimum affection? Am I signing up for someone who can't share their emotions?"

But Queen Lucinda is not done yet, posing more questions, including:

- Is she signing up for somebody who has sex right down the bottom of their values?
- Is she signing up for someone who expects her to do most of the housework?
- Is she signing up for someone who wants to watch television all the time?
- Is she signing up for someone who doesn't brush their teeth before bed?

We already know the answer, kids: HELL NO.

Finally, Tim admits that he's "got walls up everywhere" and says that when he's been vulnerable in relationships in the past, his partners have left. "I'm a disaster," he admits. "I've got more baggage than Qantas." (How dare you make me laugh during this really tough and emotional session, Tim?!).

Lucinda says that if Tim put all his mess and baggage out on the table, she'd happily roll up her sleeves, bless that mess, and get excavating — and Tim finally admits that no one else would be better equipped to deal with his past. Tim says that he's finally ready to get on board and be the hunk of spunk that Lucinda wants him to be.

Thankfully, the two of them write 'STAY' — and these two are honestly the only reason I'm watching this show now. I'm a Lucinda and Tim defender until I die! And I KNOW they're gonna sort it out.

Then it's onto the nice couples for a bit, which, after the rest of the episode, is a nice reprieve. After a hot 30 seconds on the couch (if that), Cassandra and Tristan write 'STAY'. RIP their screen time.

Eden and Jayden also get crumbs in the screen time category too, with a girthy 49 seconds (!!!) of their hot seat airing. They both write 'STAY' and Jayden says he's "head over heels".

Richard and Andrea are next, and Richard spills that the two of them have been boning incessantly since they met and that they "did the whole lot". The WHOLE lot?!? Both of 'em write 'STAY', and continue on into Bonetown.

Lauren and Jonathan are next, with a very serious soundtrack, which means, you guessed it, screen time! Lauren says that Jono is boring and robotic and after some therapising from Expert John, she admits that she's probably making Jono "feel like shit", with John saying, "Why would you want your romantic love interest to feel like shit?" And honestly, there's just a way that he delivers this line that makes me go, oh babe, you're in trouble.

Jono admits that he hadn't heard "the boring [insult] before, and that sucks," and says that hearing those words about him affects his confidence. Lauren says that Jono is enough for her and admits she's self-sabotaging and is afraid of being rejected. Look, people talk smack about these 'experts' a bunch, but John is really experting right now and I can see the two of them really actually gaining something from their conversation with him. I know, I'm shocked too. The two of them write 'STAY' and agree to work on it for another week.

The last couple on the couch this week is Sara and Tim, and damn, the soundtrack people are going off tonight. We've got dramatic violins, steadily building crescendos — it's a lot. Sara apologises to everyone else for the scene that was called last night (but not to Tim), and everyone's face is like :|. Expert Mel is looking at them like Sara is a little mouse, while she's a lion about to eat her, but Sara doubles down and says that Tim yelled at her, so she has nothing to apologise for. Everyone is collectively like, oh naurrrrr!

"You were behaving in a really aggressive way throughout the night," Expert Mel says to Sara. "You were shouting for quite a length of time and we were in shock watching your anger... we watched Tim control himself throughout the night until you pushed him to the point where he exploded." Mel praises Tim for finding his voice for the "first time" and "expressing himself" to Sara, while Tim admits he was at "breaking point".

In all the promos of the show so far, there has been a big reveal hinting at why Sara cancelled her date with Tim or why she didn't want him to look at her phone. Unfortunately, we now realise that those edits were a big pile of doo-doo and were actually about how Sara didn't see that Tim was upset during the dinner party. "I didn't see it, but now that I'm being called out, I apologise," Sara says. Guys, it's that easy.

But finally, Sara has a chance to explain why she cancelled the dates, and I hate to break it to ya, but it's not the ~ big reveal ~ that we got all hyped up for. The first time was because she wasn't in a good headspace, which is actually totally fair. The next date, she said that the groceries were going to go off so she suggested they eat in instead (again, fair! We hate food wastage!). And finally, the most recent event was because she went out with her friends on Saturday night and was feeling hungover the next day. Expert Mel says that it sends the message that Tim's not a priority, and then we cut to, like, five couples who are all nodding along (were they even nodding along to this or something from an hour ago?).

Tim says there's a lack of effort and commitment from Sara, and to me, that seems excessive. Two of the date cancellations were totally fair (and one of them could have even been rebranded as a cute stay-at-home date!), with the Experts and Tim clutching onto the last date cancellation as proof that Sara doesn't give a fuck. I don't know, it all feels really odd to me. Anyone else?!

Cassandra pipes into the conversation and says, "When you're with us, you're a different Tim. But when you're with Sara, you're a colder version of the Tim I've gotten to know," she says. "Are you maybe afraid of her a little bit?" Sara says that Cass hasn't seen the two of them in the privacy of her own home and that she shouldn't insinuate something like that.

Tim says that the two of them have been struggling, so he's dimming his energy a bit and is hesitant to communicate with her because he doesn't want to cause issues. Tim says he just needs "a bit of warmth" and wants to "give it a crack", and you can see that Sara is seething inside. She says that she doesn't have an urge to go on dates with him on the weekends and everyone is like, ??? Okay???

Then it's decision time. Tim says that while it's been a challenging week, he still sees potential and he writes 'STAY'. Sara says she still wants to give the relationship a chance and writes 'STAY' too. Ughhhhhhhh.

Jack and Tori tell them to have a cuddle and god, you can just feel the ICE between these two. I'm not saying they hate each other, but they might hate each other (and there's no way they're staying together).

In the preview for the next episode, we've got a promo for SWEET ANGEL MICHAEL, who is FINALLY getting his turn on the altar after his would-be groom ran away. Then, it's INTRUDERS TIME (!!!) with another wedding going down. I'm losing it and I'm not ready (I'm totally ready, please, I'll take any extra drama at this point).

WE'RE GETTING INTRUDERS ALREADY OMGOMGOMG.

I'm a simple girl. I see Lucinda and Tim working through their problems, and I award them Couple of the Episode.

Lucinda, for really considering who she wants to traverse and journey with in the experiment.