MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 15: I Didn’t Have ‘Sad Cow Crying Montage’ On My Bingo Card

It's episode 15 of MAFS (Married At First Sight Australia) and we're about to meet the last of the new intruders with one more wedding going down this episode. Yeehaw!

We wake up with our new favourite couple, Stephen and Michael, with Stephen feeling like he might be Mikey's backup option after the 'runaway groom incident'. Meanwhile, Ash and Madeleine are packing for their honeymoon, with Ash still trying to figure out who Maddie actually is (buckle up mate — you're in for a ride). Over in the other apartments, we sit in with a very awkward Cassandra and Tristan, who still aren't speaking to each other.

Then, we meet our new groom of the experiment — Ridge, a psych nurse who says he wants to find the kind of love his parents have, but admits that he's very picky.

His wife-to-be is Jade, a 26-year-old executive assistant who's looking for a tall man with dark hair and tats. She says she sucks at picking the right person, but having grown up in South Africa, she says she's seen plenty of arranged marriages work. Jade is also a mother, sharing that her daughter's dad cheated on her with her best friend when she was only one month old. MEN! I CANNOT! She wants a secure marriage for herself and her daughter, and honestly, you deserve it Jade!!! Get that ring!!!

We cut to Ridge and his mates, who keep saying they want a 'deece' girl, which means 'decent', apparently. Jade tells us how hard it is to date as a single mother, and at this stage, I'm questioning whether her best option is a bloke who says 'deece'.

Everyone piles in for the wedding, including a bunch of the OG couples. Ridge says that he sometimes gets mistaken for being cocky, but says that he's actually just really really really confident. He walks in with his best men, and it's immediately clear from her face that Jade's friend absolutely hates him. I get it, babe. In a marvellous act of production, Jade says that she wouldn't be able to handle him if he's cocky and ah, is this another match made in heaven?

Ridge says that he can't "get hard for a personality" and wow, this guy is a delight, isn't he? Thankfully, as Jade walks down the aisle, he says she's 'deece', which I guess is a tick of approval. The two of them exchange their vows, with Ridge saying he's the "king of the jungle" for some reason??? He winks at her far too many times, says he hopes she doesn't cry because of him, and every time he says something nice, he just botches it with a shitty joke. Poor, poor Jade. Finally, he says some kind of serious things, so Jade finishes the ceremony kind of okay with it, perhaps more excited about being married as a concept than about being married to Ridge.

Ridge says 'deece' another fifty-ish times, and I already want these two to break up. Jade tells Ridge that she has a daughter and Ridge is just like, "Oooh". It feels like you can tell that he's trying to have a positive reaction. He then says that her having a daughter doesn't faze him and that his mum was also a single mother, which is quite nice to see.

The wedding is over and we're back with Cassandra and Tristan, who are on struggle street. Thankfully, Daddy John Aitken has decided that he needs to save this relationship, so save this relationship, he shall. Cass tells him that they feel like just friends, while Tristan says that he's just nervous about the intimacy part of the marriage. John says the two of them should have rituals of connections, which are like little coffee dates or regular walks together. Wow, I've learnt something today!

Tristan suddenly gets it and is like oh wait, you want me to hug you? Okay. Problem solved! It all seems like a lot of drama for some really poor communication, but alas, we continue.

We wake up with Ridge and Jade who seem to be into each other, with Ridge saying Jade is a "lucky girl". That's not the word I'd use, but okay. Over to Madeleine and Ash, who have just arrived for their honeymoon in Ulladulla (again, I can't believe other people get to go to Fiji), while Stephen and Michael are honeymooning over in Tasmania. Stevey says he's struggling with Michael being matched prior, but Mike reassures him that he's attracted to him and feels like everything happens for a reason. Mike says the two of them are very compatible and really wants to make the relationship work. "I'm just going to do the best I can to be the best husband," Michael says. I loooooove them.

Back in Port Stephens with Jade and Ridge, Jade confesses that the two of 'em banged last night. Get at it!!! Jade says she doesn't know what he's saying a lot of the time, but reckons they're compatible.

Ash and Madeleine have a cute romantic lunch in an effort to get to know each other better. Maddie says she cries a lot because she cares about things, and Ash says this is cool because he has sisters. Ash says that she's kind and good and has a nice soul, which is nice. Madeleine says that there's positive energy between the two of them, which is... surprising.

After an ad break, we're back with the couple and Madeleine is crying after looking at some cows. "We had cows for dinner last night and now I regret that," Madeleine says. Then we're gifted with an absolutely wild montage of cows, with Madeleine literally breaking out in tears looking at them. I don't know if this is the most absurd or the most relatable segment I've ever seen in my life. Madeleine says that she's never going to eat a cow ever, ever, ever again, and Ash is just a little bit confused by all the tears.

Back in Tassie, Michael and Stephen are sharing a bath together, but after about 20 seconds, we're unfortunately back with Madeleine and Ash. I'm just begging for more Michael and Stephen time, please. Madeleine and Ash have dinner together, and the two of them look more stoked with each other... for now. Madeleine suddenly has a vision of Ash going to a deb ball, thinking that something bad happened there. "They're talking to me now," Madeleine says. "And they don't like me doing this." She sits there and says that "everyone wants to talk to [Ash]" and he's sitting there like, what the SHIT is going on. "I don't know what is going on," Ash says – and same, dude. "Things are good and then she starts hearing voices and they're talking about me," Ash says in a confessional, nervously laughing. I will say, this might be one of the most entertaining MAFS couples this season, but poor old Ash.

"I probably shouldn't be laughing about it, but to me it's so crazy that this is the only emotion I have," Ash says. Madeleine reckons the spirits are telling her about Ash, but they're not "telling me telling me", which seems very convenient in terms of not needing to actually confirm any details about Ash. Okay. Righto. Madeleine finally comes out of it all and apologises to him for the incident. At this stage, I'm genuinely unsure of how to react and whether the whole thing is legit or if it's just an elaborate schtick for extra airtime (which, if so, is clearly working!).

That's the end of the ep, and we get a sneak peek at a chaotic dinner party in tomorrow night's ep, with Jack taking a paddle up shit creek, once again.

It's a hard choice between the crying cow montage and the spirits at the dinner table moment, but either way, the WTF moment of the episode belongs to Madeleine.

We had slim pickings this episode, but it has to go to my new favourites, Michael and Stephen.

Surprisingly, this one is also going to go to Madeleine. There is no way this episode would have been this good without her.