MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 16: What If We Put The Muzzle On Jack?

Welcome to episode 16 of Married At First Sight Australia, where the couples are up shit creek and everyone is still pretending to like each other (except you Michael and Stephen, not you, never you). This ep, we're served the third dinner party of the season, which means — you guessed it — an absolute clusterfuck. Hooray!

We sit with Madeleine and Ash, who is still sufficiently freaked out over Madeleine's 'ability' and also the whole crying at cows thing. Meanwhile, Ridge and Jade are navigating their newlywed life and actually look pretty damn cute?! I'll give it a week. Cassandra and Tristan are still trying to regain their spark and they look giddy as hell. Tristan looks waaaaay happier than he did in the previous ep, and I'm just fist pumping while screaming SMOOCH HER!!!

But because things are starting to look a little too peachy, we're greeted by a dramatic soundtrack after a wild rumour has been unearthed. Apparently, one groom had hoped there would be a couple swap in the experiment... so another husband can sleep with his wife so he doesn't have to. Guess who it is?

If you guessed Jack, you wouldn't win a prize, because it's honestly so obvious who said this stuff. "Jack is a misogynist," Lauren says in a confessional. "Sexist, degrading... loose lips sink ships, and this ship is about to go down." Gotta love Lauren — she's so damn funny.

Lauren and Jono arrive first at the dinner party and are bracing themselves for the shitstorm that's about to unfold. As soon as Sara arrives, Lauren takes her away and spills all the dirt — and everyone collectively looks like the surprised Pikachu face.

All the MAFS couples continue to pile in, and we get a cute little moment where Tristan wishes Timothy a happy Father's Day, which is a nice momenr of positivity before we enter into the abyss that is Jack. Mr Deece and Jade come in, and everyone is looking at this bloke like wtf?. Expert Alessandra asks for a translator and as a native English speaker, I would also like one, thanks. Ash and Miss Medium come in and Madeleine mispronounces Ulladulla. Finally, my angels Michael and Stephen arrive and the women all collectively lose their shit at Michael's return (same, babes). It's really lovely to see how hyped everyone is about it, and I would like to request a couple like them every season, thanks. Fewer Jacks, and twelve more Michaels and Stephens, thanks!

The women continue to chat about Jack's shitty comments, with Eden saying that Tori was planning on moving to the Gold Coast to be with him. Finally, Tori and Jack arrive at the dinner party and the cohort of blondes take her away to tell her the news. Tori is clearly upset and there's a lot of dramatic music, but she doesn't say anything just yet.

Then we get the ominous ding ding ding, signalling that it's time to eat. And Jack's on the menu tonight! "I feel like Lauren is looking for drama," Jack says. "If she's going to come for my relationship, it's going to backfire." Then we witness an awkward interaction between Lauren and Jack, who stare at each other for what seems like seven years, and at this point, I'm placing my bets on Lauren.

Jack confronts her, asking "what she's got to say", and then they both say that each of them has a lot to say, which they also say about 18 times. Jack says it was a joke and Jono's like, yeah nah. Then everyoneeeee wants to know what the joke is. Make us lol, c'mon!

Finally, the girls drop the news that Jack said he was okay with other dudes banging his wife, and everyone around the table is collectively like, Um, you okay dude? "I don't see any humour in that, it's not funny," Lucinda says. "It's disrespectful and degrading." Queen saying queen things.

But Jack doubles down and is like Nah, I'd actually say this in front of Tori, therefore it's totally fine, while Tori is still sitting there quietly. Many of the women start standing up for Tori, while the men are quiet little mice. Jack tells Tori it was a joke and they kiss, with Tori saying she trusts him. I get the whole joking thing, but it's honestly really sad to see her back someone who's so disrespectful to her. Please, see the light Tori.

Lauren starts coming at Jack again (someone has to!), calling out that Jack said he's not attracted to Tori. He tries to act like Lauren's on something, clearly forgetting that old mate clearly told everyone he wasn't into Tori during a past workshop. It's giving revisionist history!

Jack starts trying to say that he's fine actually, because he just said there wasn't a "sexual spark", and Lauren, obviously this episode's MVP, says "Don't play semantics with me." Yes, thank you!

Jack says that Lauren can't follow the conversation and she's "full of shit", and says that Jono "broke the bro code." BOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

"I'd never go home and say something to my wife that I don't need to say," Jack argues, with Lauren quickly shutting him down for coming at Jono. Dickhead Jack clearly doesn't like that and says the most troubling line of the episode: "Can you muzzle your woman?"

Hold on, I just need to take a breath and recentre myself.

Okay, we're back. Everyone starts collectively booing at him, and it's honestly beautiful to see. Boo harder, gang!

Jono immediately says that Jack can't talk to her like that, and we cut to a reaction from the rest of the cast, obliterating Jack for being the sexist little piggy that he is.

Despite knowing that the world is full of people who are sexist, misogynistic, and disrespectful to women, it still doesn't make it any easier to watch. It's hard to laugh when this kind of person is just one of many that are out there.

"You tell me to put a muzzle on me again and I'll fucking show you who's going to need a muzzle," Lauren tells him, before Jono asks if she can "compute" the conversation. He says some more gross stuff but instead of stepping away or admitting he's wrong, he just KEEPS. GOING. I guess he's really leaning into the whole villain brief this season. All I'm thinking of is sweet Michael and Stephen who came onto the show for love and are instead met this absolute dumpster fire of a human.

Tori finally speaks and says to Lauren that it can be "civil", but Lauren says that she's gaslighting him.

"This is outrageous — I never said I wasn't attracted to my wife and Jono's definitely told her something different," he says, before going on to say, "I did say I didn't have the sexual spark with Tori." Honestly, I'm just going to let us all sit here and compute this for a little bit.

Jack starts getting shitty at Jono for telling Lauren what he said and says he's really "loyal" and that if he cuts him now, he's done. Jono, surprisingly, still says that he's mates with Jack, which has me kinda like ???. Jono says that Jack has said he's always found her attractive, and at this stage, I'm like, UM? WHY ARE YOU TAKING THIS DOUCHEBAG'S SIDE INSTEAD OF YOUR WIFE'S? CAPS LOCK! I can't. I give up. Let's start an all-women show with the only men being our hunks Michael and Stephen.

Tori, the girls, and sweet Michael end up walking away from the table, and Tori says she's feeling "exhausted" and that it's "a lot to process".

They head back to the dinner table and Queen Lucinda makes a toast for all the new couples. It's a nice intermission from the shitfire that is going on, and I love Lucinda for this! The people's queen!

Jade tells everyone how their wedding and honeymoon was, and Lucinda says they're "divine" and that she's enjoying getting the "transmission of their sexiness". So she can clearly pick up that they've boned? God, I love her.

We get some swoony music as Michael and Stephen say how good things have been, whilst Madeleine says that she's trying to take her relationship with Ash "as it comes". Ash says she doesn't know what she's talking about, and in this moment, we are all Ash.

The Experts rave about Daddy Tim and Queen Lucinda's energy, which is SO NICE TO SEE. I know some people aren't #TeamTim, but I do really love these two.

In a touching moment, Tim finally shares with Tristan about his family history, including some details even the audience wasn't aware of. He tells Tristan about his mother's death, but also adds that his brother committed suicide in the same year, as well as the fact that his dad only passed away three months ago. "He left me with the gift of a passing message," Tim says. "I don't like you." At this point, my heart is SHATTERING. It's a moment that gives everyone, including Tristan, a great understanding of who Tim is and the immense trauma he's carrying.

"Anybody who has been dealt that hand and can still put a beautiful smile on his face like he does, that dude is carrying baggage but he's climbing that mountain more than most people," Tristan says. It's actually really beautiful to see the conversation between these two unfold. It's a lovely father/son dynamic, and it's also a huge breakthrough for Timothy.

But as if we've had enough of quality conversations between the cast, we're back onto the Jack bullshit, with Lauren steadily losing her shit over the previous conversation. Lauren asks Tori if she's okay, to which she replies, "What do you think?"

Tori is clearly miffed at the way that Lauren has approached the conversation, doubling down on the fact that it was all clearrrrllly a joke. Is the joke in the room with us right now?

Tori says if Lauren was genuinely concerned for her, it would be a text message and that she's "made a mountain out of a molehill." Got a terrible husband? Just push your friend away for calling him out! Ughhhhhhhh.

Lauren is clearly upset about the whole thing and feels like she lost a friend. But she's also annoyed at Jono, who told her that he would say something (unsurprisingly, he didn't). "I thought Jono was going to have my back," Lauren says. Jono finally says "What you said is what he said," and at this stage I'm like, you're thirty minutes too late, mate.

Jono and Lauren start arguing. Lauren is angry that Jono gave him that information then didn't support her, and Jono is miffed that his name was brought into the argument. Yikes. It's one thing to be annoyed to be brought into an argument, but it's a complete other thing to 1) Tell your wife said information, 2) Say that that information is incorrect when confronted by others, 3) Not stand up for your wife when another bloke tells her to put on a muzzle, and 4) Not stand up for her, period! I would like one (1) man to not be awful this season, please. Lauren walks out of the dinner party and to be honest, I'd be doing the same thing.

Next ep, we've got the third commitment ceremony and I'm begging Lauren to leave his ass and get revenge in the form of a very disappointed John Aitken.

"Can you muzzle your woman?" — Jack. C'mon, was it going to be anything else?!

I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but I just love Lucinda and Tim SO. MUCH.

Lauren, obviously.