MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 22: Lucinda & Tim Are Heading To BoneTown

It's episode 22 (!!!) of Married At First Sight Australia! I literally cannot believe it. While we were still recovering from the last Commitment Ceremony in episode 21, we weren't given much time to process what happened, instead getting a trailer for today's ep, which includes a CHEATING SCANDAL featuring my angels Michael and Stephen. I'm heartbroken already. We also see a breakthrough from Timothy, and a huuuuuge revelation around Jack and Tori's relationship. Buckle up.

We kick off the ep with a mini montage of all the couples saying that Jack is a jerk (essentially) and lamenting over poor Tori, who is lapping up all of his bullshit. Jack complains about being "railed on the couch", which is not in reference to his and Tori's sex life but actually talking about last night's Commitment Ceremony, where he was slammed, to say the least. Jack also reckons he has "very serious feelings" for Tori and I'm already yawning. Tori says that Jack's actions at the Commitment Ceremony (y'know, when Jack said that Tori was more into him) was just all down to bad articulation. Mhhhhmmmmmmm.

Alas, we move forward. The theme of this week's episode is ~couples retreat~, with everyone heading off for a retreat in good ol' Byron Bay. Understandably, Lucinda is losing her marbles over this and I can smell the incense already.

But unfortunately, my heart must be crushed before we head on over to the retreat. ICYMI: every episode, I've been yapping on about how much I love Michael and Stephen. "They're so cute!" I'd say. "I love them!" "How nice that we get good things!" Well, it seems like I'm about to eat my words because these two are about to break my damn heart.

Michael reveals that Stephen has been flirting incessantly with a hairdresser, both IRL and through texts. Apaz, Stephen admitted that he felt a "spark" with the hairdresser and my mouth is WIDE OPEN. I can't believe Stephen would do this to me... I mean Michael. In the famous words of Tyra Banks: "I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you. How dare you?"

Michael is upset and amps up to confront Stephen, who is coyly sitting on the couch like a naughty boy. And look, I know this moment is very serious, but the fact that Michael is wearing a shirt of the 'Woman yelling at a cat' meme? It's lowkey sending me. Bro is about to have a serious conversation and is like, Yes, that's the shirt I need to wear! Woman yelling at cat? More like Michael yelling at Stephen.

The two of them sit down for the chat, with Stephen kicking off by saying how much he values Michael. But Mikey is looking at him like, babe, no. Stephen says that he feels guilty that there was a spark with the mystery hairdresser, while Mikey feels (understandably) hurt. At this stage, I'm just like, what is in the water? This is the SECOND time Michael has been served a shitty meal, with his original match running away before they even got to the altar. I really had high hopes for Michael and Stephen. I am their number one stan. And yes, I am devastated.

Stephen says that he doesn't want to pursue the hairdresser, but says the whole thing has proved that he just doesn't have a sexual spark with Michael, and says that he can't go forward pretending like he can build that with him. I don't get it. Michael is hot as hell!!! Stephen then commits the ultimate act of friendzoning, saying that they would only ever be good mates.

This makes Michael drops his ring on the table and Stephen doesn't like it, adding that he's trying to talk with him and work things out. I love these two, but I'm genuinely wondering in what part of that conversation Stephen was trying to work things out. Anyway, don't talk to me tonight. Their breakup is my breakup.

Finally, we're off on the couples retreat. This will mean all the couples living together under the same roof in a bougie Byron Bay mansion. Ridge says he wants to "break in the bed", while Lucinda says that she'd like to use the time to create a "cauldron" of opportunity. Stunning prose as usual, Luce. What's surprising is seeing Michael and Stephen at the retreat for some reason, made especially surprising given the fact that I thought they broke up, like, three minutes ago. Apparently Michael has agreed to go on the retreat and give it one last chance, and Stephen reckons the new environment can help mend the relationship. I wouldn't hold my breath, babe.

We get a little sneak peak into a chat between Timothy and Sara, with Tim saying that he actually likes Tori, and he thinks Jack is full of shit. Tim is me, and I am Tim. Then, we're gifted with a HUGE moment, with Tim disclosing that in Week one, Jack was showing ~the boysssss~ images of his ex and how hot she was. As if the dude could get any worse.

Because that's clearly not enough, Sara makes a huge revelation, saying that previously, Jack has tapped her on the butt and kissed her neck (during an apology?!). WHAT THE FUCKKKKK. Dude has been bad, but CHRIST. This is literally so gross, and I feel so sad for Sara who had this happen to her and couldn't tell anyone until now.

Lauren, Sara and Tim are all concerned about Tori being with him, and man, if that's not an understatement. They all agree to chat with Tori tomorrow when Jack isn't around, but I'm already feeling a little sad because we know exactly what kind of reaction Tori is going to have.

The whole group sits around a campfire and talks about the hot topic of the moment — Stephen and Michael's impending breakup. It feels like I look away one moment, then turn back to suddenly realise that Michael and Sara are going at it for some weird reason. Michael is out of pocket and yelling at her (presumably because he's hurt about the whole Stephen thing and is lashing out), but at the same time, it's really sad to see Tim not standing up for Sara. Girl, if he won't stand up for you, I will! Put me in coach! He kind of just looks around like a little guppy. What is wrong with the men on this show and whyyyyyyyyy do they have an inability to call out shitty behaviour?

Then, it's morning and we get a brief intermission showing Lucinda, who is still her unique self and who has managed to convince everyone to partake in an early morning yoga session. God, I love her. Then we're back with Tim, who's telling the boys about his tiff with Sara, saying he's not meeting up to her expectations, but says that he doesn't want to change who he is. Sara says that she just wants him to support her and speak up, and doesn't understand why it's such a big deal for him to defend her (let it be known, I am #TeamSara).

Meanwhile, because this is clearly the most chaotic retreat ever, Michael is lounging on a blow-up bed in the pool and Stephen decides, hell yeah, this is the perfect time to chat through the relationship. Meanwhile, icon Cassandra is also floating in the pool and likely hearing every word they're saying. Stunning.

The chaos continues with Sara and Lauren, who sit on some sunbeds and stare at Tori and Jack for a bit, just being like ewwwwwwwww. Then finally, Tori joins Lauren and Sara for a chat. They air their concerns about their relo, but Tori is like, nah, I'm in tune with what's going on. In a confessional, Tori is like unless you've got something new to say, I'm outtie. And boy, what foreshadowing!!! Unfortunately, the girls decide not to tell Tori everything because it's not the right timing - arghhhhhhhh.

Lucinda marvels at how good of a place she's in with Timothy, while Jayden, when asked to share his biggest fear, answers that it's losing his parents. This clearly triggers Tim, given his history. We get more of an insight into Tim and his family passing away, and we watch as Lucinda and Tim begin to talk about his grief. But mid-discussion, it becomes all a bit much for Tim and he walks out crying. I never thought I'd be so happy to see someone cry, but it feels CATHARTIC to watch, even through the screen.

But Tim has a breakthrough moment, returning to Lucinda, whom he hugs for what seems like hours. He calls her his "rock" and Lucinda says that she's never seen that side of him, and says she feels honoured that he's able to be vulnerable with her. I never thought I'd be so happy to see Tim cry and hug someone. It's a really beautiful moment in the absolute shitstorm that is this season.

This dude is dealing with very real grief, and it might be easy to label him as a dickhead, but IMHO, Tim is one of the realest people on this show. He can be an ass, but it's really nice to watch someone with so much trauma steadily break down their walls. I'm proud of you, Tim!!!

We watch everyone get ready for a totally chill time that evening, with THE BOYS heading to a distillery, while the women stay at the house. The men hoon their way into the distillery and Tim calls them a bunch of dickheads, which is lowkey iconic. During both of their nights, Lucinda and Tim tell the groups about their breakthrough. Tim says he's "looking forward to catching up with her later" and Jayden has opinions. Then he's like, wait WHAT? Do you mean BONING????? And is ecstatic. Weird. But yes, if the rumours are true, then Lucinda and Tim have bought a ticket, climbed onto the train, and have a one-way trip to BoneTown (population: them).

Meanwhile, the men interrogate Jack at BOYSSSSS NIGHT to see if he's really into her, and Jack admits that he's not in love with Tori.

Over at girls' night, Tori is up next in the share circle, with her saying that her and Jack are sooooo peachy. But Lauren and Sara are like, well, we've got something tell you babes, and you're not gonna like it. We get some fiddly-deeing around until Lauren and Sara finally take her aside to tell her the truth about Jack.

Then, you're fucking kidding me, nooooooooo! It's the END OF THE EPISODE. The rage that I'm feeling now, it's bloody unfounded. "On the next episode"? Bah!!!! Because we're all still going to tune into the next ep (myself included), we also get a sneak peak of the next ep, which shows that Eden has a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig secret. Until then...

Sorry but you did NOT end the episode on that cliffhanger?!?!??!!?!??!

I'm a broken record, but it's Lucinda and Tim. Of course it's them.

Michael's shirt.