MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 27: Petition For The Bullshit Investigators To Make An Appearance Every Ep, Thanks

It's part two of feedback week! At episode 27, we're more than halfway through this season of Married At First Sight Australia. And hoooo, the time is just flying by, isn't it?

We start with some tinkly piano music with Lauren revealing she has the head back to Perth for a week to have surgery. Jono says he'll miss her, which is nice I guess.

Continuing the Feedback Week shenanigans, Cass and Tristan are tasked with writing a feedback letter to Jade and Ridge and the both of 'em are like, Jade has a kid, Ridge needs to grow up. Fair. Meanwhile, we get a montage of Ridge cleaning, which might be one of the most boring things I've ever seen in my life, no biggie. Jade tells the camera that Ridge is actually really good behind the scenes and these two are actually pretty cute, even though Jade might end up becoming the mother to another child (Ridge. The child is Ridge.)

Then we're back with Sara and Tim, with Sara really upset over Jayden's interrogation. Sara says that no one is willing to believe her and is upset that no one really understands their relationship. Even though she's broken his trust, Tim's sad to see her sad. Then Sara actually verbally admits to emotionally cheating, which is wild. I legitimately didn't think that would happen. Tim says that he needs to see a big change from her to see that she's in it and she starts crying. IMO, Sara is getting sledged faaaaar more than any dude on this show — and she hasn't even done anything half as bad as them.

Then our parents Lucinda and Timothy assign Richard and Andrea the job of recreating their wedding vows — suits and all. The head on over to the Harbour and they recite the same vows they said on the day they met. It's all very cute and Andy seems to dig him again, so I guess the whole schtick works. Thanks, Mum and Dad!

We get another montage of Jack's shitty behaviour and of Tori standing by him. Jayden, continuing to gallop on his high horse, has trusted himself as the saviour of their relationship and by proxy, Tori. He meets up with Tori for "coffee" and starts questioning Tori about their relationship, to which Tori's like, if I didn't think Jack and I weren't a good match, I wouldn't be with him still. Wake up and smell the glazed ham, Tori!

Then, for some reason, Jack and *checks notes* Jade (?) meet up, where Jade is entrusted to give advice to Jack. I don't know why, but when Jack says that he's dated girls like Jade in the past, it all starts making sense. Jack says that Jade is in the "top three of good-looking couples right now", which is the weirdest and most inappropriate compliment I think I've ever heard. given, y'know, she's there to give him relo advice about his WIFE. Bruh flirting with another wife ON CAMERA? The audacity of this man.

Jack says him and Tori still haven't bonked but it's "on the rise" (insert dick pun here), but Jade reckons it's because he doesn't like her like that. It's the most simple explanation, really. Jack thanks her for her feedback and realises he must "nail his wife". Breakthroughs, people.

Meanwhile, Jayden and Tori are still having at it and Tori says that she knows Jack better than other people. It's the same conversations I think I've seen about twenty times already and honestly, I'm kinda boreedddddddddd. Give me something newwwwwwwww.

Over with the other two, Jack says that he probs would have bonked his wife already if he was matched with someone different that was more his 'type'. Meanwhile, Tori obliviously says that she's there for the real deal and Jack is too, saying it's a perfect relationship. And yes, I'm still bored.

Then we're over with Timothy and Lucinda, who are tasked with writing questions for Ridge and Jade, and vice versa. Daddy Tim isn't happy about this because it means that Ridge, who is half Tim's age, is going to attempt to give him advice. Tim reckons he'll lose braincells if he has to go through that and is lowkey giving us the best commentary of the season. Thank you. Tim says that Ridge is a nice guy, but is a big dummy and his advice will be a "fart in a windstorm". Stunning prose, as per usual.

Over with Other Tim and Sara, who is still trying to win Tim back after her mistakes. They have a little pincic on the little harbour, have some little giggles with some little snacks. Again, it's all very boring.

Back at the apartments, Jade and Ridge chat with Timothy and Lucinda. Timothy starts question time, with Ridge saying he's a family dude and Jade's everything he's needed. Tim looks like he's gonna blast off, and sweet dear Lucinda is like, cute, love you both. That's soooo Lucinda. Then it's time for the questions to swap, with Timothy saying their relo is growing and they're further along than people think.

Ridge then spills the tea and says that Jack said that their relationship was done and is phony. Throw him further under the bus while you're at it, ya little shit stirrer. Unsurprisingly, Timmy's not having it and Lucinda says they're further ahead than Tori and Jack. Tim calls "bullshit on Jack's entire personality" and Lucinda accurately says that the two of 'em are about to enter round two at the next dinner party. Honestly, I could watch Timothy take on Jack FOREVER.

Then we take a brief intermission with Sara and Tim, with the two of 'em revealing that they've been ROOTIN' and TOOTIN' as soon as they returned from their little picnic. Hell yeah, get it!!! We love make up sex!!!

Meanwhile, Ridge and Andrea are paired up for some reason and Ridge reckons he can give her some advice. PUH-LEASE. Ridge brings up events that happened prior to him even being in the experiment and keeps yadda yadda'ing about Richard and Andrea is looking at him like, you good bro? Ridge then says that Andrea's WEARING THE PANTS in the relationship and oh my god, of course he said that. Imagine that being considered an insult or a bad thing? Women controlling relationships? The outrage!!!

Ridge pronounces Andrea's name wrong, then pats himself on the back for saving the relo. Get off my screen, mate. Andrea says she's now confused about her relationship with Richard and I'm just like nooooooo Andrea, pls don't listen to the teenager! Not because Richard's a tip-top bloke by any means, but because it sucks to see her so confused.

It's not long before Andrea and Richard catch up, with her debriefing him about her chat with Ridge and her new doubt about their relo, adding that he's made her feel uncomfy quite a few times. Andrea says that Richard has aired their sex life a few times and Richard has THE AUDACITY to say that she's MAKING THINGS UP. Holy shit.

Richard maintains that he hasn't spoken about his sex life since that Commitment Ceremony on the couch and Andrea is sitting there questioning her memories. Richard says that she's using it as an excuse, and I just still can't get over him telling her that she MADE IT UP. Sorry, what?!

Andrea stands up for herself and says that she isn't lying about what he said and she doesn't feel like he hears her. Richard keeps cutting her off and says that it isn't true. And I'm just like, girl, run for the hills. RIGHT NOW. Richard goes wah wah wah and says that he's sad because it's all an excuse because she's not into him.

Then that's done, and we again have a picnic intermission with another lovely little picnic for Eden and Jayden with some perfectly placed KFC in a perfectly authentic environment. Jayden says it's the perfect day to create a baby and then we're done. That's all we get of them. Righto.

Lucinda chats to Tim and says that she can't believe Jack's comments and Daddy Tim is ready to put the gloves on. Tim says that Jack would "fuck a deck chair", while Lucinda questions why Tori is still standing by him. We love spicy Lucinda! They decide to get a bit cheeky and decide to type up the #FACTS, dubbing themselves the "Bullshit Investigators" who call bullshit on Tori and Jack. It's the funniest shit I think this show has done this season, made even better by the fact that Lucinda is the one that's typing it up. Yes, mother.

Then they run through the hallway like spies and deliver their "dossier", knock the door, and run away giggling like little school children. Tim is soooo giving baby girl right now.

Tori and Jack open the letter, which includes a beautiful image of a cow shitting. The letter calls out the "disgrunted ex" and proposes a three-way conversation between them and the ex to air all potential greivences (genius, Timmy and Luce).

Tori is PISSED and the two of 'em expertly think it's too juvinile for Lucinda and Timothy, expertly cutting to them flipping the bird in their apartment like kids. Jack says that it's a low blow and that it's an elaborate ploy to separate the two of them.

Tori writes a reply on the back of the letter, telling the people who wrote it to go fuck themselves (respectfully) and says about 12 times that it's pissed her off.

We cut to a preview of the dinner party, with Vivaldi dramatically playing in the background and Timothy and Lucinda confessing to the letter. I. AM. CHORTLING. We also see them KISSING. This has single-handedly given me life again. I'd like the Bullshit Investigators to make an appearance every episode, thanks.

The Bullshit Investigators (but the best kind of WTF we've had this season).

The Bullshit Investigators.

The Bullshit Investigators.