MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 29: It’s Like Watching A Train Crash In Slow Motion

It's Sunday! It's Commitment Ceremony time! It's episode 29 of Married At First Sight Australia! I'm freaking out! Final vows are just TWO WEEKS away. What I will do after these two weeks end, I will never know. Tonight, we're set to see the fallout of Richard's behaviour towards Andrea, Timothy and Lucinda continuing on their lovebug train (choo choo!) and perhaps, the downfall of Jayden and Eden. Let's get into it.

The episode starts with Jade popping Ridge's pimples. I did not ask for this. I do not want this. Please, let's move on.

Thankfully, we move onto Sara and Tim, with the two of them hyped on each other after Tim stood up for Sara after her cheating scandal. Sara's like, I'm fighting for this relationship, but I can already hear everyone at home being like, naurrrr, I'm gonna fight this.

Meanwhile, Tori is still going on about backing Jack and saying that she doesn't need feedback from other people about their relo. They both reckon they've earned a night off from the fire of the couch session, and tell 'em they're dreaming!

Then we cut to oNe oF ThE StRongEst CoUpLes, with Jayden and Eden beefing with each other because Eden didn't reveal that Sara and her ex was apparently mocking Tim while they were hanging out. Wait, was Eden there? I'm confused. Eden doesn't want Jayden to tell the story and threatens to leave him and the experiment if he airs it, which I believe Jayden CERTAINLY WILL air.

Then we hop straight to it, with everyone filing in for the Commitment Ceremony. Everyone looks sullen as shit except for Tim and Sara, which is a very weird thing to see. They're the first ones on the couch and Tim tells the experts that he's seen a different side to Sara and that she's been warm, affectionate and appreciative of him. Sara admits that she nitpicked at the beginning and says the whole emotional cheating thing has brought them together. She apologises again in front of everyone, and I'm like, maybe I'm falling for the schtick, but can we please leave this woman alone? Direct your icky energy towards Jack!

Of course, Jayden sits there with a half-smirk and shakes his head at the two of them, weirdly grunting and moaning until he eventually says that he "sees right through it". Eden's like, now you've gone and done it, and Jayden eventually calls out Sara for apparently making fun of Tim. Eden quickly starts backtracking and admits that she wasn't there that night, and Sara is like uh, that's not what happened, GTFO. Then Jayden TAKES HIS HAND AWAY from Eden and grills her for telling him #facts that indeed, were not #facts. Are these two just wanting to start shit with Sara for the sake of it? Jayden interrogates Eden in front of everyone and everyone's like, uhhhhh.

Sara says Jayden needs to let people have a chance and, essentially, to get off her back. And I spy a little nod from Lucinda. If that's a seal of approval from Lucinda, that's a seal of approval from me! Lucinda and Jono stand up for Sara and Tim, and it's so nice to actually just see people being nice! Leave Sara alone! Jayden, kick rocks! Then it's decision time, with both of them writing 'STAY'. I will be a Sara defender forevermore — I don't care if there are only approximately three of us in this world. Jayden sits with a sullen little look on his face and I'm like, ha ha.

Lucinda and Timothy are up next, and they looks cute as punch and everyone's beaming about their little smooch at the dinner party. Tim walks everyone through him crying after the kiss and feeling like he's wasted 51 years of his life, explaining that it's been tough for him to be vulnerable. Expert Alessandra talks about the restraints of masculinity and not being able to be emotional and vulnerable, asking Tim when the last time was when he felt emotional like this.

Tim says it's been years and that when he was emotional, no one would ever know, but says that it was "really nice" to have Lucinda there with him. They share that they both feel admiration for each other, and Alessandra hints that "admiration is the gateway to love". And HELL YEAH, it's time for these two love birds to GET LOVIN'. My mum and dad. I love them. Dad writes 'STAY' and Mum also writes 'STAY'. Tristan gives them both a big clap, and it's nice to see that they're staying together for the kids (Tristan and me).

Next up on the couch is Jono, who is riding solo after Lauren went off for surgery this week. He says that she's recovering well at home and he says he's missing her energy and that they've been messaging and calling each other non-stop. Cute. Can't wait for this relo to last and definitely not for it to go south and to definitely not watch on as one of them starts dating someone else. And definitely not dating Ellie, at that. Anyway, Jono writes 'STAY' and Expert Mel is like cool, she wants to stay too. Righto. Bye bye!

Then it's Tristan and Cass' turn, with the two of them still recovering from Tristan dropping the L-bomb and Cass running for the hills. Given that we've seen them for a whole three minutes this week, it's not looking good. Then suddenly, Cass tells everyone that the two of them spoke last night and both agreed that they were best as friends. Excuse me, but WHERE IS THE FILMING OF THIS CONVERSATION?! Release the tapes!!!

Cass says that she feels sad about the whole thing and then it's decision time. Unsurprisingly, Cass writes 'LEAVE', adding that whoever Tristan is with next will be the luckiest person in the world. That's nice. Meanwhile, Tristan gleefully says that she has broken his heart and writes 'LEAVE'. Before they jet, they say some kind things about each other and it's the most beautiful and amicable break-up I think we've seen on the show. We love them both. We're sad they didn't work out. And most of all, we will miss watching Daddy Tim and Son Tristan have the most positive display of masculinity on this show ever.

But alas, we must move on with Jayden and Eden, and Expert John is looking at these two like they're absolute clowns (same). Jayden harps on about how Eden can't handle pressure, which is a far cry from when he spoke about her anxiety issues (which, may I remind you, was only a week ago). Jayden continues on his Sara tirade, saying that Eden didn't want Jayden to air Sara's dirty laundry to everyone. Jayden tells the experts that Eden threatened to leave him and the experiment if he didn't do what she said. It's all a lot of talking, really.

Jayden says it felt like an ultimatum and says that he finds lying morally wrong, and my eyes are honestly glazing over at this point. I literally cannot get past Jayden and his supposed high morals. He really does think he's the goodest good boy that's ever been good.

Eden clarifies that she didn't want to leave him, but she would have left the whole experiment, which is, uh, not much better. Jayden says that Eden is struggling a lot and his efforts to save the relationship aren't doing much. Um, it would have been nice to actually see this all play out instead of this weird fantasy relationship we've been watching this entire time? Hell, even Jack is shocked that there's cracks in the relo.

Jayden says the he buys her flowers five times a week and writes lists of things he likes about her, and just because he wouldn't do one thing for her, Eden apparently said, "Why don't you do something nice for me for once in your life?" Finally, Jayden admits that he isn't sure if Eden's who he thought she was, and everyone is all collectively shocked. Hell, even Tori is crying!

Then it's decision time and despite all the issues they're facing, we get big swirly music and they both write 'STAY'. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Jade and Ridge are next. It's all very nice and boring. Jade says that Ridge made a sandwich for her daughter and wrote a cute note for her, which is cute. Then of course, the two of them write 'STAY'. Cute.

Then Jack and Tori are up, and damn, Expert John is FIRED UP tonight! He immediately lays into them and is like, wtf is going on my dudes and says he's "not buying" their relo. Tori is looking at him like he's just made her shitlist. Jack's first in the interrogation line and says he's developing "serious feelings" for Tori. Sure, Jan. For some odd reason, he says he's been sleeping really well?! When he's asked about how she makes him feel, there's radio silence.

John calls on Jade to continue the beautiful Jack sledge, recalling that he would have slept with someone already if they were more his type. But John's like, why is she not your type? Jade is like, yo, Tori, he doesn't like you. And Tori's like, FAIR ENOUGH! Then John does the doozy, and like a little teenage girl, asks Tori if she's "for real". It's beautiful to see, really.

John is like, do you feel safe and secure? And then calls out Jack's shitty behaviour towards women during the experiment. The experts are all looking at Tori like girl, please wake up! See the light!!!

Asked again about their sex life, Jack says they're sexually intimate but haven't "done the deed" (that's enough, I don't want visuals, please). Tori says she's tired of being asked this question over and over again, but John explains that people are constantly asking them this question because people are questioning whether Jack is actually attracted to her. Lucinda interjects and says that Jack is "cruel" and that's it! Mother has spoken!

They keep yapping on and it's all very stressful to watch, really, especially considering that many people are concerned about Tori and her not paying attention to her own needs. Tori doubles down and says that she spends every moment with Jack, reiterating that she knows him better than anyone. Hell, she even says that he's a "good person". Uh, I wouldn't go that far. Then it's decision time and they both write 'STAY'. Please, put me out of my misery. Then they're shunned away by John, who looks downright pissed at them.

That's all finally over, but then we watch as Andrea and Richard hop onto the couch — and I'm already not looking forward to this. Andrea says she's feeling devo and frustrated about Richard not listening to her. Richard, back on his bullshit, thinks that her telling him that he's not listening means that she just doesn't dig her. (OR, it means that your listening skills are trash.)

Richard is sad that they started so well and have gone downhill, but Andrea says that they didn't really know each other in those first few weeks. But Richard still says that Andrea isn't into him and starts beating himself up, saying that he has "failed massively" with her.

Then it's decision time, but I think we already know what's going to happen. Andrea says that they have both agreed to leave the experiment, revealing their decision on the paper. Andrea says she had the best time with him and Richard says that the first ten days of their experiment were bliss.

Then it's done. We've lost TWO couples this ep, and it looks like more are up shit creek. We get a preview for the next ep, with the couples heading home as part of 'Homestays Week' — featuring Timothy's bachelor pad and Tim's dipshit best man making another appearance. We've also got a disappearing Eden on the loose, which is juicy. Until then.

Jayden's failed Sara interrogation.

Jade and Ridge — go make those sandwiches, dude!

This episode, it's for the Tims!