MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 30: Don’t Do This, Tim. Sincerely, The Whole Of Australia

Episode 30 of Married At First Sight Australia!!! I cannot believe it! We're almost done! This week, the couples are all heading home for 'Homestay Week' and are coming face-to-face with each other's friends, family, and way of life. It already looks like a wild journey, with Jack's friends taking on Tori, and Eden becoming a runaway bride. Yikes. Let's dive in, babes.

We kick off the episode with Timothy and Lucinda, who are now everyone's mum and dad, not just mine. I can't believe they're parents to thousands and thousands of children. Lucinda tells Tim she's so proud of him and his journey so far, and Tim says that he's got a bit of an emotional hangover. Totally fair, my dude. He says the whole thing is taxing and he's feeling the pressure of the experiment, explaining that he can't keep going at this level. Lucinda, ultimate sweetheart, says that there's no judgement and he can just keep being him. It's all cute. I feel giddy. I might believe in love again (little did I know what was about to unfurl).

Meanwhile, everyone is quietly losing it after Eden and Jayden unravelled on the couch during the Commitment Ceremony. Jayden does his hair in the mirror and I feel like his nipples are staring at me. Then, the two of 'em sit in silence next to each other and it's ~awkwarddddd~. Eden does a limp apology and Jayden's like, that's it? That's all you got? They look at each other a little more and suddenly I understand why these two have had very little screentime. Because they're boring as batshit. Moving on.

The couples pack their bags, ready to head off for Homestay Week and then it hits. Eden has fled! Dun dun dun!!! Jayden's got NFI where she is and explains they're both meant to be on a flight. It's the final call and Jayden is the last person to climb aboard the plane. Can you imagine if your flight got delayed because of these dipshits?

Meanwhile, Jono zooms on over to Perth and we're all reunited with Lauren. God, I missed her. Jono apparently missed her too, but we missed her more. He arrives and they eat chips together. Jono meets Lauren's teddy bear and Lauren tells us he's "seen some shit" over the years. Beautiful.

Then Timothy and Lucinda arrive in Melbourne! Tim's home looks like it's seen better days, and in a surprise revelation, he has TWO. POODLE. PUPS. I didn't see Tim with these types of dogs. Not at all. But it's a beautiful juxtaposition. Lucinda looks around and marvels at his bachelor pad, then we get a cut to Lucinda's Byron Bay PALACE! Pillows! Incense! Serenity! Then we cut back to Tim's home, where, of course, everything is black and grey because he's a MAN. For some reason, he also has a very large photocopier.

We look at Tim's crusty dogs and I am living for the combination of a big burly man like Tim hanging with two little pups like this. Stunnin'. Bless Lucinda, she says that she's excited to stay with Tim and to see if she can fit in his life with his two little crusties.

Over with Jayden, he's chilling OUTSIDE Eden's apartment while she still hasn't resurfaced. Literally sitting on the grass. Ya'll couldn't let him chill in a hotel? A cafe? Literally just a patch of grass? Righto. Finally, Eden shows up and tells the cameras that she needed time apart from him to see how she felt. Girl, I don't blame you.

The two of them act like everything is cool and head to the beach with Eden's cute AF dog. I would love it if the rest of this episode could just focus on Cub the dog, please! What is Cub up to? What does Cub eat? What does Cub hope his future will look like? I'd love to know.

The two of them continue to discuss things and Jayden reiterates several times that yes, the experts would like them to talk about things. Eden apologises for her behaviour, and for some reason, Jayden looks at this like a bad thing? And thinks that she's just trying to move the conversation on? And I'm confused?

Lauren and Jono are back, with Jono about to meet Lauren's bestie Mackenzie, who is apparently more cooked than Lauren. I didn't think it was possible! Lauren says that if she doesn't like him, then they'll both put Jono in the bin. And by the sounds of things, it might be bye-bye, Jono.

They sit down for lunch and Lauren is immediately like, I need someone with more pizzazz, of which Jono absolutely does not have. But the two of 'em think that Jono's calm nature will centre her, and while it does sound like delusion to me, Mackenzie ends up digging him. Surprising!

Then we cut back to Lucinda and Tim, who are having some yummy food with Tim's friends. Tim's still exhausted and a bit off about sharing his space with Lucinda, and his friends are hyping him up for being vulnerable. Tim recognises that everyone else likes emotional Tim, but he doesn't like emotional Tim. Uh oh, I don't like where this is going.

Then Lucinda chats with Tim's mate, who reveals that Tim is a "doter". Tim? Taking care of people? Nurturing people? Are we talking about the same Tim? Lucinda is a bit off this, considering it's absolutely not the person that she's been with for the last few weeks. I would be sad too. Someone protect Lucinda! Take care of her! Love her! Or I will! Lucinda realises she wants "a lot more for [herself]", which does not bode well.

Unfortunately, we're back with Jayden and Eden and well lookie there, MITCH has resurfaced! I will be sending MAFS an invoice for my impending therapy bill. Old mate Mitchy is just looking at the two with the ickiest face that could ever ick, and what is it with this family and being hypocritical?!

We watch Mitch attempt to interrogate the two of them, but I can't get over the huge editing fail here, with food miraculously disappearing and reappearing on their plates. One scene the foods there, then they're asked a question and it suddenly isn't. NEVER film a scene while people are eating!!! They say words, but I'm just incredibly distracted by the magical food on the magical plates.

Jayden and brother Mitch chat about Eden privately and Jayden is like, she doesn't want to talk through conversations and thinks she's hiding things. I'm genuinely so confused about how we got to this stage. Bro thinks because he buys her flowers it automatically makes him a hero. Zzzz.

Then we're back with Lauren and Jono, who have CONSUMATED the homestay!!! Okay, go off!!! All the other couples will be extremely excited to hear that these two are bonking. They head to the beach, make out a bit in the water, and it's all looking gravy. Lauren gets horny over spreading butter on a barbeque (same) and they reckon the two of them will get heaps closer in the future. Sure! If you think so! Nothing could possibly get in their way.

Meanwhile, Timothy is still going through his emotional hangover and is a bit standoffish. He says that he doesn't feel good and that he's not comfortable and I'm getting sad already. They were going so well! Lucinda says it's totally fine if he needs time alone, so he pops off for a walk by himself. But Lucinda is a bit sad because she can't deal with the walls going up and down.

It hits nighttime, and Tim is still out... but now with a friend. Lucinda is a bit confused considering he said he needed alone time, and says that she wants someone who wants to do life with her and feels a bit abandoned. Someone HUG Lucinda RIGHT NOW. I will NOT tolerate anyone hurting her!

We're with them the next morning as they head off for a private picnic. They sit there in silence, Tim doesn't really look at her, and it's PAINFUL to watch. Lucinda tells him that she feels hurt and abandoned by his actions. She tells him that she doesn't feel welcome in his world. Tim says that he's got problems and isn't into the emotional journey, and it's sad to see him go back into his shell. I know healing isn't a linear line, but it really hurts to see Lucinda going through this all... again.

To everyone's shock, Tim walks away from the picnic, yells at her that he doesn't want to "fucking talk" and calls an Uber. Tim, don't do this.

Lucinda is left at the picnic all by herself and says that the Tin Man is back. She starts crying and says that she's disappointed and held hope for him, but ultimately says that she deserves better. "This is not what I want for me in partnership," she says. "I'm not going to superimpose myself onto someone who doesn't want or celebrate me." Lucinda says that she wishes him the best, but what he has to offer her is not what she wants.

And she's right — it isn't Lucinda's responsibility to fix Tim. It isn't a woman's job to ignore her own needs in favour of her partners. Yes, Timothy has a lot of trauma, but Lucinda shouldn't have to suffer because of it.

Then we watch her walk away from the picnic, and it looks like Lucinda has finally called it. I'm sad. You're sad. We're all sad. But Lucinda's right — she deserves far better.

The preview for the next episode shows Tori butting heads with Jack's bestie, which haaaaas to be good.

Timothy, my dude. Respectfully, what the fuck was that?

Lauren and Jono. I'm surprised too, but they were extremely cute this ep.

Queen Lucinda. Today and always.