MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 36: Wait, Were Those Final Vows Jack’s Attempt At Being Romantic?!

We're finally there, folks. The final vows! The second part! The end of the 2024 season of Married At First Sight Australia (well, almost if we're not including the reunion, which is set to be wild). Tonight, we've got the final vows from Jayden and Eden, Tim and Sara, and of course, Tori and Jack, who left us on a cliffhanger last ep with Jack alluding to possibly dumping Tori. Alas, we move forward. We persist. One last episode. God, I'm gonna need a drink after this.

Yet again, we start the episode off with a slow-mo of Jack shirtless, his nipples staring at us. He yaps on about how he's not sure if Tori is his girl, while Tori says that Jack is her "person" and while he isn't perfect (which isn't even half of it), he's always there for her and she's falling in love with him. The bar is on the floor.

Then finally, it's vows time.

Tori starts off her vows by saying that she and Jack are two "strong, dominant people" and says that she spent a large part of her experiment defending him, saying that no one saw the Jack that she saw (you can say that again). Tori says that she got an "old school" love from Jack and that she never wants to stop making memories with him. No. No. No. She says that she is willing to give up being close to her family for him and that she's found her forever person. Jack doesn't crack one smile, one iota of emotion. Then he simply says, "Well done." Christ.

Finally, it's Jack's turn for vows. I'm already bracing myself for this clusterfuck. He kicks off by saying they've had each other's back during the experiment, admits that he has some flaws (there are more than a few, mate), and says that he's "demonstrated some extremely poor decision-making". Is Jack becoming... self-aware? But then he drops the line, saying that their biggest connecting factor in the experiment was having each other's backs, but according to Jack, this is bad, bad news. Because it's like they're teammates, NOT lovers. Jack then brutally says that he doesn't want a platonic relationship and that he and Tori aren't in love, so he's not sure that he can ask her to give up her life to move to the Gold Coast.

Then, I must admit, I've gotten had. You've gotten had. We've all gotten had. Jack says that he's sorry for not living up to Tori's expectations and that he can't give her a happily ever after, and we all collectively think that he's about to dump Tori. Jack yaps on and pretends like he's about to break up with her, and the whole thing really isn't fun to watch, with Tori clearly looking devastated.

Then the good ol' trick comes, because Jack was saying their relo sucked for five minutes because it actually doesn't suck, revealing that he's willing to take the risk to be with Tori and that he's "head over heels" for her and "can't wait to fall in love". Is this meant to be... romantic? You tortured her for how long to reveal that you actually liked her all along? Could we not just use our five minutes a little better and say nice things about her instead of... that?

They walk away hand-in-hand, explaining that No OnE gEtS ThEir ReLAtIOnShip and that they're a "beast couple". A beast couple. I literally cannot believe what I just watched. Oh god. I need a cigarette.

Then it's Tim and Sara's turn, who prep themselves for saying bye bye to each other before the final vows. I actually have no idea what direction their vows will go and whether it'll be a dumping or a love fest.

They watch back on their wedding together and are cast back to when times were better. I too, think of when times were better and when I wasn't traumatised by this show. Sara reckons everything she wanted was in front of her the whole time and regrets all the things she did to Tim (ie, meeting up with her ex). They say seeya later until they'll see each other at the altar again, but the question is, will Timmy boy actually forgive Sara?

But the editors are back in action with a dramatic edit reminiscent of a psychological thriller, seemingly remembering all the shitty parts of the relo. It's a stunning cinematic feat.

Just as the editors really start to pop off, we unfortunately cut to Eden and Jayden, who still angers me every time I see his face. Jayden is beaming after telling Eden that he loves her, and Eden says that she's so happy, she was paired with him. Like, soooooooo happy. It's all very cheery, but all I can remember is Eden dissociating a few eps ago after Jayden talked at her, and of course, Jayden's... interesting cheating reveal. You can't fool me with this positive edit!!! I REMEMBER!!! They say adios to each other until the final vows, and I for one, cannot wait to say goodbye to Jayden.

Unfortunately, Jayden doesn't say bye bye for long as he's immediately back on our screens for THE vows. We get a dramatic montage of them entering and talking about how in love with the other they are before they finally reunite at the... altar? Barn? Random corridor?

Jayden starts his final vows by saying that he's been hurt in relos in the past and that he's tried to improve himself heaaaappssss so he would be ready for the right partner. He says he loves her and that she's more than he asked for in a partner, that he can see themselves being together 4eva and that she'd be a great mum. Jesussssss. I'm sure some people find this cute, but I think I've just gotten the ick at this man with zero chance of recovery.

Eden, looking like a goddess as usual, says that they've supported each other through the experiment and says that she wants someone like Jayden in a partner. She says she can't wait to tell him that she loves him every single day, and they give each other a big ol' smooch. Jayden reveals he got Eden something, and it's a nice little bracelet (not from Temu). Jayden pats himself on the back at avoiding a Mitch 2.0 and then it's over and we are released from needing to watch Jayden anymore. And that's the real win here.

Then it's Tim and Sara's turn. Sara says that she's "free from [her] ex" while we get a slow-mo shower scene from Tim. Sara seems sure that she's gonna say yes to Tim, while Timmy is conflicted about the whole thing. We get a montage of them smooching throughout the experiment, before seeing the more shitty moments between the two.

Tim pensively stares at the sea and begins writing his vows while sitting next to a surfboard. Naturally. Because he's such a cool and laid back dude. Then Tim speaks with his dickhead best friend who I thought I had seen the LAST of, airing concerns about Sara's cheating.

Meanwhile, Sara says that she's "so excited", and with that, I just know that Tim is about to dump her. She's far too giddy for this to be the happy ending of the season. Meanwhile, Tim is spiralling and isn't feeling too crash hot about the relo. He says he's "torn" and that their relationship has been largely a "trainwreck". Oh god, he's dumping her, isn't her? Make it stop.

Then finally, they arrive at final vows. Sara is beaming as she walks through, while you can tell that Tim is like :D on the outside, but >:( on the inside. Sara starts her vows, apologises for the mistakes she's made in the relationship and says that their struggles have brought them closer. She says that she's falling for him "more and more each day", and excited to see what the future holds. Tim, awkward as shit, just goes "aww", before launching into his vows.

It all starts very sweet, with him explaining that he had the hots for Sara at the beginning and that his initial excitement turned to frustration at their communication style. Then he speaks of their (brief) moment of bliss at the couples retreat, before launching in about Sara meeting up with her ex. "I was left questioning myself, my masculinity, and my self-worth," Tim says. "I felt ashamed of even fighting for this relationship."

"Your betrayal made me question everything between us," Tim continues before revealing that, actually, the bad things don't matter! Tim is NOT dumping Sara and we're all shocked! He's excited that Sara has fought for their relationship in the last few weeks and that he feels "happy" and "masculine" being with Sara now, which is... nice. Tim admits that he's battling between his head and his heart, but says that it's an easy decision for him to go with his heart. "There's no one else I'd rather take that risk with than you," Tim says, before reciting the last few lines in Spanish and admitting that he's "falling" for her and that she has a "great booty".

I am flabbergasted. I've been had. We've all been tricked. Because apparently, Sara and Tim are the final couple walking away from the experiment together and that it was actually a happy story all along. While we know that they're going to last an entire five minutes in the outside world, at least we can bask in the fact that the reunion is going to be chaotic as heck. They walk off hand in hand, contemplate eloping, and cheer about the experiment being over. I'm happy too, friends.

So that's it. We're pretty much done. Out of all the couples, we had four make it to the end: Jade and Ridge, Jack and Tori, Sara and Tim, and Jayden and Eden. But by the sounds of it (and the rumours that are circulating around), this is just the beginning of the drama that's about to unfold, starting with the dinner party reunion next Sunday, featuring Jono and Ellie (best buds) debuting their relo. Hell YEAH.

Jack's entire final vows speech. Is that how you show you like someone?!

Honestly, Sara and Tim. Even though I know they're about to break up imminently because they're objectively a terrible match.

We've got six of the least MVPable people, so at this stage, it has to go to Lauren, simply because of her three second presence in the trailer for next week's episode.