MAFS Recap 2024 Episode 9: Collins Tries To Take On Expert John, Is Immediately Humbled

Episode 9 of Married At First Sight is here. Confessions Week is finally over, and after throwing a bunch of relationships into the danger zone, it's time for the very first Commitment Ceremony of the season.

If you're just jumping on the wild bandwagon that is MAFS, Commitment Ceremonies happen each week and ask couples to make a decision between staying with their partners or asking to leave. Both couples need to write 'LEAVE' to be able to dip out of the experiment.

After a dramatic Succession-esque violin soundtrack, we kick off with a montage of all the couples getting ready for the ceremony and looking hot AF. Andrea and Richard cuddling! King Timothy in a sharp suit and Queen Lucinda looking hot to trot!

The drama kicks off with everyone's least favourite guy of the bunch, Jack, who says that much of his Commitment Ceremony discussions with the experts will likely focus on that "crazy" ex of his and the fact that he applied for the show and met the experts when he was still with her. Yikes.

Then we're back with the bestest best buds Collins and Natalie, and sorry, just a brief side note, but can you believe this girl feels like she isn't a 10? She's GORGEOUS! What alternative universe are we living in that she feels like she's not beautiful? Am I missing something?! Anyway, Nat is concerned that she's not seeing Collins' authentic side and that it's all a bit of a performance. It's honestly beautiful to watch when a woman's mindset suddenly clicks — and she goes from questioning if she's not good enough for a bloke, only to realise that the guy are actually entirely out of her league (for all the good reasons).

Before we know it, the gang all walks in and sits in front of the experts for the Commitment Ceremony. First up on the couch are Cassandra and Tristan, our sweet daffodils. The little angels talk through their first kiss and Tristan's struggles to love himself. "I hate myself," he says, with the experts pushing him further and asking him to list everything he hates about himself, right in front of all of the couples. It's like 10 Things I Hate About You, but I want to make it STOP. Cassandra says a bunch of nice things about him and the experts give him some tips for how to think more highly of himself. Unsurprisingly, these two write 'STAY'.

Next up are my personal faves, Lucinda and Tim. "We're very different," Tim starts off, while Lucinda admits that she's "got a bit of a crush on Tim." It's not long before we kick off the physical affection conversations, with Lucinda craving more affection than Timmy. Tim says that if he's pushed to do something, he retreats, admitting that he's a "slow burn". Expert John reads him the riot act, and says that Timmy is either going to have to give Lucinda a smooch and lean into the affection — or the relationship is dunzo. Thankfully, these two both write 'STAY'. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I WOULD DIE FOR THEM (I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?).

Because things have been too wholesome so far, Tori and Jack are up next on the hot seat. Expert John is not fucking around, jumping right into interrogating Jack about his ex. Jack claims that he respectfully ended the relationship, saying that they broke up 7 to 8 weeks ago (or was it 8 to 9?), finally admitting (after a load of prodding from Expert John) that he was meeting with the experts while still in a relationship with his ex. John looks PISSED! Get 'em tiger!!! Tori still says that she trusts Jack, saying, "What he was doing the night before [the wedding] and before that, I couldn't give a fuck" and that she wasn't going to waste her time with a "disgruntled ex". Ehhhhhhhhh.

Jack says that he's a "connection guy" and that it's "rare for [him] to have a sexual connection with someone", saying that the two of them haven't boned yet. "We're not just here to have a short-term relationship," Jack continues. Honestly, bro just keeps blah blah blah-ing until FINALLY Timmy says the whole thing is "bullshit" and that "there's more cracks in the room than everyone wants to admit."

Tori arcs up about this, and Richard also decides to throw his hat in the ring, sharing that Jack previously said he wouldn't sleep with his partner on the first night, while King Tim said he would (and damn, Lucinda is HURT about this). Jack argues that if he's into his girl, he holds her on the couch and cuddles her, just like he is at that moment. SEE!!! Tori and Jack both write 'STAY', and I'm weeping because I have to endure this for another week.

Sara and (other) Tim are up next and I'm already asleep. There's some fantastic editing here, showing Sara constantly interrupting him, saying everything is sunshine and rainbows, while Other Tim is clearly not having it. Tim says that he's suss on Sara for being "defensive" during the photo monitoring task and that he was "questioning" why she was so against it. Ruh roh. Expert John has once again had enough, and GOD, he's SPICY tonight. After the John treatment, Other Tim admits that he's intimidated by Sara and is worried she has "something to hide". Interestingly, these two both see potential in their relationship and write 'STAY'. Tomato, tomato, tomato!

Ellie and Ben are up next and say there have been some "speed bumps", but no, they're going great, actually! Couldn't be better! Nothing to see here! The two chat about their family values and whether they want kids, and after some yadda yadda from Ben about being "open" to them, they both write 'STAY'.

Our KFC lovin' babe Lauren and Jonathan are next on the hot seat, and honestly, I am VIBING with these two! Nothing could possibly go wrong with them! The two admit that they boned "the second the producers left" and hell yeah, that's hot. Jono says that he likes deep conversations while Lauren finds them "horrific" and admits that it's her "toxic trait". There's some nice swelling music for the two of them, and they both write 'STAY'.

Suddenly, I get flashbacks with watching Eden and Jayden get on the couch, and OH MY GOD, is telling everyone the tea? At this stage, we're all nervous laughing while Expert John pretends that he didn't know a damn thing about it (you're not fooling me, mate!). Everyone's faces are all like what the HELL, and isn't this just why we all love this show so much?

"Mmk," Expert Mel says — and I couldn't have put it better myself. "This story is shocking and unacceptable and toxic," John adds. Eden says that she's not perfect and is concerned about how he'll react if she does do something wrong, adding that he hopes he can react without emotions next time. Despite the whole incident that I'm calling a 'clustercuck', Tori and Jayden write 'STAY' and are dismissed (but not without a few WTF looks from their castmates).

Don't worry everyone — the bestest best buds Natalie and Collins are up in front of the experts next, and the friendship between the two is radiating, but in the worst way possible. Buckle up babes, this is going to be messy. Poor Nat talks about the grief of losing her dad and how she felt really alone at the dinner party, prompting her to want to leave. Expert John, starts interrogating Collins about what affection he's shown Natalie. There's a lot of silence and a chaotic violin soundtrack, with Collins putting on his best performance about giving a shit about this relationship. "Grief aside, to the best of her ability, she has been present [in the relationship]," Expert John says to Collins.

But here is where it kicks off, with Collins saying that it shouldn't be "grief aside" and that it's a "huge, huge factor". But Expert John has had ENOUGH and tells him that he's still talking and to STFU (probably). After John poses a question about what Collins can do to make Natalie feel special, he lowkey cracks it and sassily says "No, I came to you for advice with what I should do... You tell me."

At this point, everyone is like noooooo Collins please stop — and John is not having it. He calls out the fact that old mate has never had a relationship and is talking to him as though he is an expert, which he clearly isn't. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Collins! Meanwhile, Natalie is crying (again), and I'm just BEGGING her to please write down 'LEAVE'. Please, please, please. Collins says he wants to move in with Nat, but she says that she doesn't trust him.

"When we talk, the answers he gives, I know he doesn't want to hurt me, and I feel like he's just giving me the answers he thinks I want to hear," Natalie says, admitting that she doesn't think there's a connection between the two of them at the moment. Collins pretends to be surprised. Collins says that nah, he's actually really really really into Nat and that she's a "top top lady" (which makes everyone cringe). We watch Collins try to convince everyone that he's really into Natalie, which is honestly a little pain-inducing, and actually, maybe it's better to be single! Then comes decision time, and everyone is collectively hoping Nat runs for the bloody hills.

Thankfully, she comes to her senses and writes 'LEAVE', to which Collins tries to cry to. "I'm absolutely heartbroken," he says, not a tear in his eyes. At this stage, everyone's like, is this drama club? What is going on? It's a Hollywood performance, but this man isn't earning any Oscars. After more awkward laughter and rambling, Collins reveals that he wrote 'STAY'. This means that the two of them have to remain in the experiment until both of them write 'STAY', or more realistically, 'LEAVE'. Natalie is crying again, but we're not really sure why.

It feels like nothing can quite follow that mess, but nonetheless, we persist with Richard and Andrea. Now Richie, just because there are many toxic men here, doesn't mean you're off the hook after the photo ranking incident from the other day. Thankfully, the two of them are very cosy and smiley with each other (they even got the swoony romantic music!), with Richard letting everyone know that they're intimate "two to four times a day, every day". Andrea and Richard both write 'STAY', and it's all smiles and rainbows at the end of episode 9. But based off some of Andrea's comments about Richard and her relationship, we're not too sure that this will last.

"No, I came to YOU for advice" — Collins

This ep, it goes to Lauren and Jono, who were just two little fun-loving sweeties together. I can't wait for this two last three whole episodes.

Natalie, for finally writing 'LEAVE'.