This Is Why We Need More Intergenerational Queer Conversations

I am your typical Gen Z, Suk Workwear-wearing queer playwright. I could spot a “granola gay” or a “hey mamas lesbian” within a second. Yet, if you asked me to tell you the glorious history of Sydney's notable lesbian motorcycle club, Dykes on Bikes, I would be stumped.

And there’s a reason for that.

Outside of the queer clubbing culture, there are often not enough opportunities for queer youth to interact with ‘community olders’* — to interact and discuss inherently queer things.

Despite 20 per cent of Gen Z Aussies identifying themselves as part of the LGBTQIA+ community and with our generation often labelled “the queerest generation”, there’s still a clear disconnect between Gen Z queer knowledge and that of older people in the queer community.

The truth is, while Gen Z might be the queerest generation on paper, statements like these often disregard the violence, oppression and abuse that older people have fought against in order for us all to safely identify as queer in Australia. It’s time we recognise that. 

Robyn Kennedy, proud 78er and board member for the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, says that there are key issues between how older and younger generations of queer people are communicating and understanding each other.

“Older LGBTQIA+ [people] don’t relate to evolving definitions of gender and identity and struggle to understand them,” she tells Refinery29 Australia. “Younger people struggle to understand what elders suffered and why it matters.”

But while there’s a clear gap between the mentality of older and younger queers, there’s still a distinct benefit that comes from younger people engaging in intergenerational conversations.

“Younger queer could benefit from learning about the history of the Pride movement in Australia. The rights we enjoy today were hard fought and can be easily lost. Understanding this might encourage younger people to be vigilant in defending human rights,” Kennedy says.

In my opinion, this becomes even harder to reckon with when there’s a lack of communication between community olders and queer youth.

31-year-old writer, performer and Samoan/Australian Fa’afafine person Tommy Misa says that the creation of key digital and physical spaces is essential in generating these intergenerational queer conversations.

“We need balances of digital spaces that are accessible to all as well as community gathering spaces. I would like to see more gatherings that happen outside of bars and party spaces... in ways that may be new to some and familiar to others,” Misa tells Refinery29 Australia. 

In my opinion, this creation of community spaces is essential to creating an inclusive community. First, the creation of new queer-focused spaces can help everyone educate each other about what being queer was like — and also what it is like to be queer now.

Second, the importance of community in queer spaces cannot be understated from a wellbeing perspective. When I learnt about the idea of a 'chosen family' and what it means to create a new queer family that accepts you for who you are, I cried. Personally, it means everything to me.

But in order to foster these euphoric spaces, we need to pay more attention to how we're promoting inclusivity in our communities.

“I think it is common for us to acknowledge those that have come before us but that can often be where it ends,” Misa says. “Access and inclusion for older queer folks are important, and we need to create a robust community and a deeper understanding of our lineage and identity.

“Kinship has always been what has gotten us through some of the hardest parts in our history but somewhere along the way, we have grown further apart. Sitting in some of those conversations with the intention to hear and see each other will only build stronger connections. Our differences are what makes us so alike.”

While it’s easy to think that queer rights have come a long way, the reality is that young people still have a lot more issues ahead of them. The 2017 Trans Pathways study surveyed 859 Australian trans youth aged between 14 and 25 and found that 82-92% of Australian trans and non-binary youth surveyed have experienced suicidal thoughts. 35-48% of them have attempted suicide. It’s clear that there are still massive inequalities between different identifiers within the youth portion of the LGBTQIA+SB (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Sistergirl and Brotherboy) community. 

Our conversations need to be intersectional to truly create meaningful intergenerational queer connections. We need to create spaces not only for queer people to gather, but to ensure that their voices are heard, regardless of if they’re BIPOC, First Nations, neurodiverse, living with a disability, in a different class or living in rural areas. This can help us converse, listen and empathise, and eventually create a euphoric queer community. 

Without an easily accessible way to speak with community olders — and groups of diverse community members — queer youth aren’t able to access the full history of oppression faced by the LGBTIQA+SB community or begin to look ahead. If we start weaving in new, digital, queer languages, we would not only be able to start fully understanding the experiences of community olders and how they fought for our rights, but we’d also have a communal way of being able to serve all members of the LGBTIQA+SB community — not siloing them away from each other. 

When the queer community becomes one unified, intergenerational front, our heteronormative allies will also have a clearer understanding of the impact of systemic oppression against queer people — both in the past and today. In my opinion, this is key to the true empowerment and equality of all queer people. 

*Jonny Seymour, a leader in queer advocacy in Sydney, coined the term ‘community older’ which acknowledges the use of the word ‘elder’ being reserved for First Nations folks.