Taz & Alessia Are Using Their TikTok Fame To Challenge Stereotypes About Lesbians

Like many influencers on TikTok today, Taz Zammit and Alessia Allfree first turned to the social media platform to create content in 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic. What initially began with amusing clips of them miming trending sounds of heterosexual couples talking in movies and TV shows, eventually led to the pair finding a greater purpose for their social media presence — and their over 590,000 followers are hanging on every word.

After meeting on Tinder two-and-a-half years ago, Zammit and Allfree noticed constant misconceptions held by wider society, about lesbian couples like them. With this in mind, the pair have strived to be their authentic selves on social media to help quash stigmas around lesbians and inspire other queer people at the same time.

"Something that we've definitely tried not to contribute to is the over-sexualisation of lesbian couples," Zammit tells Refinery29 Australia, explaining that TV shows and movies have so often fetishised queer women — a narrative that needs to stop.

"We don't really kiss in any of our content. We decided to keep that to our personal life."

Allfree explains that when the couple first started live-streaming their content, they were bombarded in the comments section with strangers asking them to kiss on-screen. Not only did they believe that doing so would have fuelled the hyper-sexualisation of lesbian women, but it made the pair feel as though they were being asked to prove they're really dating.

"Almost every second comment was like, 'Kiss, kiss!' and we had to ban the word [from being allowed in our comments]," says Allfree. "So, because they were asking us for it, we were like, 'That's a bit strange so let's block the word but also, why would we feel the need to prove our relationship to you?'"

Another comment the couple receive frequently is the question of "who's the man" in their relationship.

"We just say there is no man — that's the point of a lesbian relationship," says Allfree.

"There's this misconception of [there being] a feminine woman in the relationship compared to the more masculine-presenting person," adds Zammit. She identifies as pansexual, though says "if someone said lesbian or bisexual, it wouldn't matter as it's just a label to me".

"[People think] the feminine one doesn't pay for things and they put those roles seen in some heteronormative relationships onto us," Zammit adds. "Or they assume that I'm not emotional because I'm a bit more masculine-presenting."

The couple ensures they're staying true to themselves in every video they make, and Zammit's emotional side is often on display as a testament to that.

"I think that people who regularly tune in live will see how much of a softy I am, but also when I need to be strong. We both have masculine and feminine [energy] and I think we try and show that as well," she says.

After flying up from Melbourne to attend the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade and other WorldPride events, the content creators also reflect on their experiences of coming out.

Zammit was 15 when she first started having feelings for girls, and recalls not knowing anyone else who was queer or what language to use to describe herself.

"I wouldn't have even thought to call myself a lesbian at the time," she says.

She went to great lengths to keep her relationship with her then-girlfriend under wraps, telling her school friends she was dating a boy instead.

"I told all my friends that I had a boyfriend; I changed her name to be like a boy's name," says Zammit. "We were together for three years, and I hid the relationship for about a year-and-a-half before telling my close friends.

"Unfortunately, I got outed at my school so it felt like the whole year level found out at the same time."

Zammit says her parents ended up finding out the same week as well, and it was a "difficult time" because she didn't know the "the labels and terminology" to use when opening up to them.

"It wasn't the best," she says of her coming out experience, but notes it's a "happy ending" of sorts as her family is now very supportive.

Growing up in Darwin, Allfree says she dated men before realising she liked women after moving to Melbourne at age 20 and starting to connect with another woman.

"It was really, really exciting. It felt phenomenal," she says. "It literally changed my life forever, and so now I identify as a lesbian."

After initially hiding this from her mother, Allfree felt compelled to tell her mum one night at dinner when she was asked whether she was "seeing any boys". She had actually planned to come out to her mum the next day, but her mother's direct question prompted her to speak up there and then.

"I was like, 'Oh if I say no now, I have to bring up the conversation tomorrow anyway, so I might as well just tell her now,'" she recalls. "I looked at my sister and I was a little bit stressed and nervous because I didn't really know how my mum would take it."

After asking several questions and taking some time to process, Allfree's mum was and continues to be nothing but supportive. Allfree says she hasn't formally come out to anyone else since, and has just "let people figure it out for themselves on social media".

Everyone's coming out story within the LGBTQIA+ community is different, and Zammit says finding a network can help in feeling more supported.

"Find a community that understands — which I know can be difficult — but once you find that, you will feel more at home," she says. "When I found my football community and friends and coaches, I could finally really start stepping into who I truly am and my sexuality."

Allfree also emphasises that people should take their time in coming out when it feels right for them.

"My advice would be to take it at your own pace. I know some people feel so much pressure to come out, but if you're not ready, you're not ready," she says.

"It's worth sitting in that space with yourself and figuring out what you want, when you want to come out, who you want to be and being comfortable with it before sharing it with everyone else.

"You also don't have to share it with everyone else. The life is yours. Be and express however you want to and own it."