Helicopter parenting is so 2015. The approach moms and dads are adopting nowadays is markedly more hands-off. It's been dubbed "intuitive parenting", and celebs including Chrissy Teigen and Shay Mitchell are both fans.
The two mothers, both spokespeople for Pampers' new #ShareTheLove campaign that celebrates moms, sat down for a discussion about parenthood moderated by Alexandra Sacks, MD, a reproductive psychiatrist. After the panel, the two celebs spoke exclusively to Refinery29 about their approaches to parenthood. And it turns out, they both have the same mindset about going with the flow.
"I didn't read any books, I didn't do anything," Teigen told Refinery29. "I didn't want to read something and have it stuck in my head that that's the way it had to be done." The TV personality, who has two children, says that when she faces a parenting obstacle she doesn't know the answer to, she adopts a "wait and see" attitude, letting the situation play out naturally.
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"I did one birthing class, which was a mistake because I saw a real birth and was like, 'Oh my gosh'," Mitchell explained. "I'm going with what feels right for me. And if I have any questions then I'll ask people who are going through it."
During the discussion, Sacks explained that this flexible mindset is called "intuitive parenting."
"The truth is that parenting is not—and never could be—a 'one size fits all' enterprise. No product or uni-dimensional parenting style could possibly match your child’s unique learning ability and temperament—or your own parenting 'comfort zone,'" Stephen Camarata, PhD, the author of The Intuitive Parent, previously told Psychology Today. "What is needed is a readily adaptable and flexible approach to lifelong learning that fits you and your child... Intuitive parenting aims to arm parents with the confidence and knowledge they need to quit worrying and maximize the beneficial impact of the time they have with their children."
Camarata goes on to explain that because children naturally signal what they know and what they need, parents can tune in to recognize and respond to these cues — which sounds a lot like what Teigen and Mitchell are aiming to do.
"Everybody's experience and journey with [motherhood] is completely different," Mitchell said.
She and Teigen also both brought up how important it is for parents to lean on each other for support. "That's why it was important for me to share my own experience, because if anyone had a similar way of feeling, they can relate," Mitchell said.
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"Some days are harder than others, and you're looking for someone to tell you that that it's okay to lock the bathroom door for once," Teigen agreed. "Like, I want privacy!"
"As self-deprecating as I am, I feel like I got the mom thing down," the cookbook author added. We can't argue with that.
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