If You Still ThinkThe Masked Singer’s Banana Is A Blue Collar Comic, Read This

On Fox's smash hit The Masked Singer the elaborate costume designs and difficult choreography are always changing. But one thing that will never change is how difficult it is to guess a contestant's identity when they can't sing. For three seasons, it has been more difficult to place the voice of a comedian or actor than it is a professional a singer because viewers have, of course, heard most music artists sing (or rap) before. That’s why, among all the talented stars left on The Masked Singer, the Banana’s identity seems fairly obvious. I feel pretty confident in my guess about the rockstar waiting to be unpeeled.

The Banana mask is pretty tall on its own, so that makes it pretty challenging to determine the singer's actual height. However, all the other clues so far about the fruit point to his identity. The first clue package (after way too many fruit and vegetable puns) included a shot of the Banana sleeping next to a cowboy hat. He spoke with a very prominent twang throughout the package and when he appeared on stage to answer the panel’s questions. However, his singing voice was difficult to detect at first because he sang Elvis Presley’s “A Little Less Conversation” exactly like the legendary singer.

The second clue package really highlighted the Banana's country rock background. His twang was more apparent and he said the phrase “git ‘er done.” There was also a shot of cowboy boots and he sang “Achy Breaky Heart” by country singer Billy Ray Cyrus. Banana forgot the lyrics, which he pointed out while receiving feedback from the panel, but no one seemed to mind.  

The Banana’s most recent clue package focused on his family life. An unknown person close to the Banana said the fruit taught them how to drive using go-karts and built a racetrack in their backyard. The person talking sounded like it could have been the teenage daughter he mentioned after his first performance. She talks about how the Banana has had a lot of “heartburn” in his life but he has always been able to laugh through it. 

Switching things up, Banana strayed from the country lane to sing “Lean On Me” by Bill Withers for his third performance. He said he chose the song because his father, who was like his best friend, recently passed away. He called his father his hero and said he loved music. The Banana's special clue was a friendship bracelet to Jenny McCarthy that had “Nineties Love” written on it. 

While clues like the pufferfish and a literal blue collar have convinced the panel that Hootie and the Blowfish’s Darius Rucker or a Blue Collar Comedy star like Jeff Foxworthy is the Banana, I believe his true identity is fellow musician and lead singer of rock band Poison, Bret Michaels. The frontman seems to be playing up his slight twang to throw the judges off, but his recognizable voice and the breakdown of the clues make it hard to deny he is the Banana.

For starters, there are plenty of videos on YouTube where Michaels is wearing his signature cowboy hat and red bandana while performing, which could explain the cowboy hat reference. He is also pretty tall, like the Banana, at 5’10”. His performance of “Achy Breaky Heart” was the first time the audience could really hear his voice, but he forgot the words. While it seemed like just a relatable flub, this could be another clue in disguise because in 2008 the Poison singer appeared on a TV game show called Don’t Forget the Lyrics!

The most recent clue package provided the biggest hints so far that Michaels is the Banana. He has two daughters named Raine Michaels, 19, and Jorja Bleu Michaels, 14. Raine could have been one of the family members in the package, because she's of driving age and one of the relatives spoke very much like a young woman when describing how her dad taught her how to drive.

The “heartburn” she referred to could have had a double meaning. On the one hand, it could point to one of Poison’s biggest hits, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” a power ballad about a break-up. 

But, the “heartburn” could also reference the multiple health issues Michaels has had throughout his life. He was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at age 6, and in 2010 he had a health scare when doctors informed him he had a condition called patent foramen ovale, or a hole in his heart. 

The significance of the Banana performing “Lean On Me” could also connect to Michaels. In August of 2019, he publicly paid tribute to his father who passed away last year after suffering cardiac arrest. Finally, Poison had a resurgence in the late '90s and early 2000s which could be why he gave McCarthy the friendship bracelet with “Nineties Love” written on it.

Add all these clues to the Banana’s powerful, glam rock-style voice and you get Micheals. I’ll be very shocked if anyone besides him is in the Banana costume when he finally has to take. it. off.