For years, popular blogger Reality Steve has been providing Bachelor Nation some of the biggest, juiciest spoilers every season. He’s grown to be one of the most influential, unofficial members of the ABC reality franchise’s community, but Bachelor alum Demi Burnett claims that Reality Steve has been wielding his power to harass former contestants on the show publicly and privately.
Long time fans of The Bachelor know that Reality Steve has been a fixture in the fandom built around the show because of his uncanny way of finding and disseminating major spoilers about each season. Unfortunately, when you look back at it, much of Reality Steve’s rise within Bachelor Nation has been marked by misogyny and inappropriate behaviour.
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A new episode of the Chatty Broads podcast — hosted by former Bachelor star Bekah Martinez and Jess Ambrose — laid out many of the blogger’s misdeeds. The co-hosts detailed various instances of Reality Steve being especially negative towards women on the dating competition, including his repeated criticism of Jade Roper from the moment she began her Bachelor journey on Chris Soules’ season in 2015.
Upon learning that his bad behaviour was the subject of a podcast episode conversation, Reality Steve took to Twitter to share a statement about his checkered past. In a brief thread, he said that he was “embarrassed” by his old blog posts and recognized that they were problematic and harmful.
Wanted to address my past writings that were brought to light again today on a podcast. There is/was no excuse for them. I’m embarrassed I thought that way, I’m embarrassed I wrote it, and ever since, I’ve done whatever I could to change that line of thinking. (Cont)...
— RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) April 20, 2021
(Cont)...I have never shied away from acknowledging these writings and will always apologize for them. I do not think that way anymore & I hope my behavior in recent years has proven that. I’m sorry to anyone who had to read those things. I am and will continue to do better.
— RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) April 20, 2021
“Those that have followed me in recent years have recognized the change in my blog, in my tweets, and on my podcast,” Reality Steve tweeted on April 20. “I do not think that way anymore & I hope my behaviour in recent years has proven that. I’m sorry to anyone who had to read those things. I am and will continue to do better.”
But Bachelor Nation isn’t really buying Reality Steve’s apology. Demi responded to the thread with a point of her own, sharing that her past interactions with the blogger had also been uncomfortable.
No you haven’t changed @RealitySteve https://t.co/mboaXIUs7f pic.twitter.com/7bBQtqeiE1
— Demi Burnett (@demi_burnett) April 22, 2021
“No Steve! You haven’t changed!” Demi wrote in a series of messages. “I was afraid to say anything out of fear of your retribution but then I thought of the many other future women to come on this show and I don’t think they deserve it either."
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One specific incident with Reality Steve involved an inappropriate conversation about a sexual dream. Screenshots of Demi’s texts with the blogger show them discussing the dream in passing, with Reality Steve requesting (and low-key warning) that the Bachelor alum keep the chat close. The disturbing situation was then confirmed by Reality Steve in subsequent tweets; he apologized to Demi and “had no idea at the time that conversation made you feel that way.” Refinery29 has reached out to Burnett for comment but Burnett did not respond at time of publishing.
The current dialogue about Reality Steve ties into a larger, more nuanced conversation about the trajectory of The Bachelor following a particularly controversial season (chaos which the blogger did play a significant role in furthering on his end). As more pointed critiques of the show, its casting efforts, and its overall cultural impact continue, even hardcore fans of of the franchise are wondering how exactly The Bachelor can recover. For much of Bachelor Nation, the emphasis should be growth in the right direction, creating environments that are safe and supportive for everyone involved — and misogyny and harassment just can’t be part of that equation. Not even from the person who’s brought us all of the tea.
Refinery29 has reached out to Burnett for comment.