It’s happened to all of us. (Right? No? Just me?) You go on an incredible first date, or you meet a hot stranger at a party, or you reconnect with an ex during Mercury retrograde. Whoever it is and however you got there, you suddenly find yourself in the midst of a hot and heavy makeout sesh. When you feel their mouth on your neck, the thought may cross your mind — ooh, I hope that doesn't leave a mark — but you're quickly distracted by... other things.
Until, that is the next day. That's when you wake up, look in the mirror, and realize you have to go to work… and you have a hickey. If you're really lucky, you’ve got a big presentation or meeting first thing. (Based on a true story.) Sure, you can always throw on a turtleneck and say you’re channeling Shiv Roy. But maybe you had your heart set on another ‘fit. Maybe the bruise is just high enough to make you nervous about the coverage even your best black turtleneck can provide. Or maybe you just want that love mark gone.
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Ultimately, a hickey is just a sexy bruise — and really, the only 100% certain way to cure a bruise is time. Still, there are countless online tips and tricks you can try out to make your hickey a little less noticeable. Here are Reddit’s most ingenious suggestions. (Try at your own risk.)
Colour correcting makeup
“Find a friend who knows their makeup, and colour correct dat shit. If that's not an option, concealer for dark circles is designed to hide purple-ish discolouration so will work better on a bruise. Stipple it on for maximum coverage.” (via Reddit)
The spoon trick
“Rub it with a spoon. It has to be really cold. Like freezing. When boxers get cut or bruised in a fight you'll offer see their cornerman apply a good metal object to the spot to reduce the swelling. It also helps with bruises, which is what a hickey is.” (via Reddit)
The bottle cap
“Take a small cap, like a bottle cap, and twist it on your hickey back and forth. I've done it numerous times. Works well.” (via Reddit)
The fork trick
“Been there — honestly the only thing that worked for me, and it did work, was holding a warm, damp cloth to my neck for a while to get the blood flowing and then literally scraping the blood in the hickey (that's what hickeys are) away in various directions for a while with a fork. Takes a while but it does the trick.” (via Reddit)
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The winter classic
“A thick scarf would work, depending on what the weather is like where you are.” (via Reddit)
The coin cure
“Scrape a quarter starting from the middle and going out all around the hickey. It hurts like shit but it’ll be gone in like an hour or two.” (via Reddit)
The ice hack
“No need to panic. You'll need two cups — fill one with ice, and one with warm water. Alternate pressing hard with any icy spoon and rubbing a warm toothbrush to break up the bruising — let the spoon cool in the ice when you're brushing and vice versa. I did this for about 30 mins last time I had a slight, er, mishap and it worked wonders. Good luck!” (via Reddit)
The circle game
“Use two fingers, rub in circles over the hickey, then do the same in the other direction. Repeat. Breaks up the blood vessels and it virtually disappears.” (via Reddit)
The minty fresh
“Toothpaste has always worked wonders for me! Just apply a decent layer over it and let it sit for a few hours and then wipe off, repeat as necessary. Isn't an instant fix but helps reduce them massively! I had a huge interview with a pretty big company and my boyfriend at the time gave me a hickey, bit of toothpaste and a few hours and you wouldn't have known.” (via Reddit)
And finally… the Post Malone
“Temporary tattoo! A friend of mine got a hickey from a girl who wasn't his girlfriend. After a 5 hour drive she still hadn't noticed, so it works.” (via Reddit)
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