How To Make Your Pet Internet Famous

Honestly, if you don't have a famous cat these days, you might as well get off the Internet altogether. What with Reddit, YouTube, and Imgur all clamoring for an endless stream of kitten, puppy, cat, and dog cuteness — not to mention the amazing market opportunities for goats, pigs, and rabbits — there's no excuse not to get some attention and maybe even some cash off a few squee-inducing photos and videos of your little fluffball.

But, like trying to dress your cat up in a charming bonnet, it's easier said than done. Luckily, after heavy scientific analysis and months of hard work, we've broken it down into five key qualities important to any famous pet. Also, we made GIFs. So. Enjoy!

Look, you can't just have an animal that lies around on the floor with no personality. You need to help your creature develop an attitude, a strut that can be seen from a mile away. Whether that's a sunny outlook on life, a terrifying demeanor that will strike fear into the hearts of his/her subjects, or just a generally mad face all the time, a famous pet distinguishes itself with a clear opinion on all matters.

You're gonna need some tricks. We're not talking backflips or opening doors without the use of opposable thumbs, but not all animals can be as cute while totally motionless as Lil' Bub and Grumpy Cat. The more your animal makes its movements GIF-able, the more you'll attract humans whose eyesight is automatically drawn to moving pictures.

Remember what we just said about GIFs? The more GIFs you have, the more likely you are to appear on Reddit. Of course, if your pet flat-out refuses to move in any kind of interesting way, you can always go for the static-image meme. Only the most versatile and perpetually hilarious characters stand a chance on Advice Animals, but once you've gained their affections, you're pretty much guaranteed months and months of Reddit recognition.

You know how, sometimes, setting facts or numbers you need to memorize to a tune can help the information stick in your head? That's the theory, here. A theme song never hurt anyone. Case in point: Nyan Cat. Its ghostly song will haunt our collective mind for years to come.

Once you've made it to the big leagues, you're going to need an agent. No, we're not kidding. Having worked with Lil' Bub and Grumpy Cat on multiple occasions, we know that there are just as many hoops to jump through with these kitties as there are with major human celebrities. In fact, even the aforementioned Nyan Cat has an agent, even though it is a cartoon. If you're gonna play with the big boys, you need someone who knows the game.

You did it! Now, just watch the cash roll in, but please, don't forget who helped you get here: your pet. Having met with the owners of several of the animals listed here, we know for a fact that they are treated with care and love, and that the owners have strict rules about how much fame (and stress) they're willing to put the little guys through. Bestow upon your animal the love, affection, and humane treatment it deserves, and your real-life karma will be as great (if not greater) than the karma you get on Reddit. Oh, and one more thing: If you're ever looking for some extra publicity, come to us first. We can always find time for a photo shoot with a furry friend.