Chipotle Will Nix Guacamole If The Climate Doesn’t Improve

Dear Climate,

We've been at your mercy since the beginning of time. And, though we've quietly bowed our heads and accepted your control over us, we the people need a compromise. Sure, we may have gotten you all hot and bothered (sorry!), but if Chipotle goes through with its plan to drop guacamole from its menu, we'll not only be hot and bothered, we'll be guac-less! And, devastated.

We received word this morning that the world is in the midst of an avocado crisis. Think Progress reports that "Chipotle Inc. is warning investors that extreme weather events 'associated with global climate change' might eventually affect the availability of some of its ingredients." Now, Climate, we totally understand this is partially our fault, but do you really have to go after our avocados? Scientists are predicting a 40% drop in avo growth in the coming years. For once, we just really hope something proves science wrong.

We get that Chipotle's commitment to sustainable foods makes this kind of AvoGate unavoidable, but a burrito without guac is like Kenan without Kel. (Sad, and pretty boring.) Chipotle has made it clear that it doesn't want to raise prices. Now it's up to you, Climate, and us to do our parts. We could soon be living in a world where our chips are plainer and fajita bowls are blander (insert the saddest of sad emojis here). Please save our holy guacamole. Don't make this lunch order our last. (Think Progress)