If you came here wanting to know what the next Deadpool movie will be about, you should have known we wouldn't be getting a straight answer. The teaser trailer for the currently untitled sequel has dropped, and rather than giving us a glimpse of the action-packed, self-deprecating adventure that awaits us in summer 2018, we get Ryan Reynolds doing a Bob Ross impression dressed as Deadpool. Same difference?
Admittedly, this does answer the biggest question many fans have been wondering: Yes, the dark humor and playful cynicism of Deadpool remains intact despite changing directors from Tim Miller to David Leitch. This Bob Ross skit is longer than any kind of actual footage from the franchise's highly-anticipated return.
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As for the action? Well, we did get a glimpse. In between Deadpool's irreverent painting and thinly-veiled drug references ("Wish I could jump in there and roll around in that cascading white powder. Just get high on all of life's splendor. God I love cocaine.") are small snippets of Weasel, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Vanessa, Colossus, and Blind Al as well as our first (brief) introductions to new characters like Cable (Josh Brolin) and Domino (Zazie Beetz).
But after about 15 seconds, it's back to Bob Ross.
"From our family to yours, keep your pants dry, your dreams wet, and remember: hugs not drugs," the trailer ends, proving that this whole thing was just one big troll on the viewers. And as io9 points out, this is continued by Fox's bananas synopsis for the sequel:
"After surviving a near fatal bovine attack, a disfigured cafeteria chef (Wade Wilson) struggles to fulfill his dream of becoming Mayberry’s hottest bartender while also learning to cope with his lost sense of taste. Searching to regain his spice for life, as well as a flux capacitor, Wade must battle ninjas, the yakuza, and a pack of sexually aggressive canines, as he journeys around the world to discover the importance of family, friendship, and flavor – finding a new taste for adventure and earning the coveted coffee mug title of World’s Best Lover."
Fine. We'll just wait until June 1, 2018. Watch the teaser trailer below!