How To Get Over Deal-Breakers In Relationship Advice

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Photographed by Lula Hyers.

Many of us have traits, quirks, and idiosyncrasies that we consider "deal-breakers" when searching for a potential partner. Sometimes, you can tell when you're head-on with one of your deal-breakers, like if someone has offensive language on their dating profile. Other deal breakers lay dormant and don't come out until an inopportune moment, like when you start to actually like the person — but in that case, it may just be a blessing in disguise.

Deal-breakers can be pragmatic because they help you narrow down what it is you find important in a partner, but they can also be a complete waste of time. If you have a growing laundry list of things that you consider unacceptable in a partner, eventually it's going to be too much to retrofit all of those traits into a human being.

Being stringent about your deal-breakers also closes you off to the possibility that your future partner could be — wait for it — different than what you crafted in your head. Even if your next relationship doesn't end up being The One, having at least one experience in which you break away from your "type" can help inform who you decide to date in the future, as sexologist Michelle Hope told Refinery29. "Every now and then, you might be missing out because you're not stepping out of your comfort zone," Hope said.

So, we asked real women in the R29 community about the things that they used to consider deal-breakers when dating that they no longer GAF about.

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