The old Taylor Swift is very much dead, because a vengeful, naked robot version of herself fried her in the just-released music video for "...Ready For It?"
In the three-and-a-half minute spectacular, AI Swift struck back against Sith Taylor, menacing her all the while as if to say, "I'm so powerful and badass that I'm not even afraid of searing sky spears to hit my body, which is made entirely of metal."
If fans are correct in assuming the flashes are in direct reference to her feud with ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris, with whom she wrote Rihanna's "What You Came For," then the DJ better watch his back because Darth Taylor is not. messing. around.
AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT
Just look at how easy it was for her to shatter her glass cage and kill everyone who had held her captive.
For a song that's seemingly about sex — "in the middle of the night, baby / you should see the things we do" — this video is strangely violent, and I can't figure out why. Is the Real Taylor the one who is held and experimented on? Does she break free to expose her true self and get revenge? If so, do her captivators represent the media who desperately try to mould her into something she's not? Maybe!
I can see the speculation now: Taylor Swift Battles Cloaked Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, & Journalists In New Music Video.
Or, perhaps Swift was jealous of all of the attention the darling Porg from Star Wars was getting and wanted to reclaim her time as an evil Sith Queen destined to fight a shiny robot gone rogue. If you haven't noticed, she's really into battling herself lately, as evidenced in "Look What You Made Me Do."
Her obsession with pitting herself against herself is troubling, because Taylor, honey, it's starting to seem that you hate you. And as one commenter noticed, Mechanical Taylor cried a single tear at the end of her ass-kicking fest. Girl, if you don't want to purge the old you, you really don't have to!
Of course, I could be wrong about everything. Twitter, of course, has thoughts, written in mostly all caps...
AND IN THIS ERA, NO ONE CAN EVER CONTROL TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT EXCEPT TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT #ReadyForItMusicVideo
— CristyAlmostMetTay♡ (@TaylorUnicorn13) October 27, 2017
SHE HAD TO DESTROY HER REPUTATION AND SHE TRIED LIKE A MILLION TIMES BUT SHE WON AT THE END AND NOW SHE’S FREE #ReadyForItMusicvideo
— vicky?? (@IKTayWT) October 27, 2017
DAMN, SHE'S HER OWN SAVIOUR, SHE DON'T NEED NO MAN ON A WHITE HORSE TO COME SAVE HER#ReadyForItMusicVideo pic.twitter.com/dlC9OxOwJ5
— ?LET THEGAMESBEGIN (@Redswiftstan13) October 27, 2017
Dark Taylor found Old Taylor. They battle. Old Taylor escapes. "Gorgeous" will be Old Taylor #ReadyForIt #ReadyForItMusicVideo
— Jamie Buckley (@Jammovly) October 27, 2017
BLANK SPACE VS. READY FOR IT#ReadyForItMusicVideo pic.twitter.com/auHxR0IViy
— Taylor Swift Updates (@TSupdated) October 27, 2017
This was the inspiration for the #readyforitmusicvideo ... There, I said it. pic.twitter.com/I5DBrsQxCy
— Y. (@Yka_Tnguilg) October 27, 2017
AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT