In case you missed it, somebody bit Beyoncé in the face. We know this thanks to this amazing profile of Tiffany Haddish that appeared in GQ Monday morning. A quick recap for those just joining us:
"Beyoncé's at the bar, so I said to Beyoncé, ‘Did she really bite you?’ She was like, ‘Yeah.’ I was like, ‘She gonna get her ass beat tonight,'" Haddish remembered
"Tiffany, no. Don't do that,'" Beyoncé reportedly warned Haddish. "That bitch is on drugs. She not even drunk. The bitch is on drugs. She not like that all the time. Just chill."
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Like most of us, Chrissy Teigen read the profile and immediately started speculating.
"I cannot leave this planet without knowing who bit Beyonce in the face," she tweeted. She also had some suspicions of her own.
I can only think of one person who would do this. but I cannot say. but she....is the worst.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018
"I can only think of one person who would do this. but I cannot say," she later wrote. "but she....is the worst."
Then, plot twist:
My initial guess was wrong. The real person? I *never* would have guessed. I’VE SAID TOO MUCH
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018
"My initial guess was wrong. The real person? I *never* would have guessed. I’VE SAID TOO MUCH."
Who do we think Teigen texted — Haddish or Beyoncé — to get the scoop?
Turns out, however, that the information is a double-edged sword, because now she'll have to answer to inquisitive Beyoncé stans for the rest of her life.
I AM NEVER TELLING I’m scared I’ve said too much KNOWLEDGE IS A CURSE!
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 26, 2018
"I AM NEVER TELLING I’m scared I’ve said too much KNOWLEDGE IS A CURSE!" she tweeted, and hasn't given any updates since.
Whoever bit Beyoncé, they must have had quite a day: ears constantly burning while wrestling with the guilt that comes with knowing you're the one who kicked all this off in the first place. Is it weird that I kind of wish it was me? Chomp, chomp.
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