R29 Binge Club: Netflix’s Trinkets Season 1 Recap

For me, recaps often turn into the It’s Always Sunny detective board GIF made written word. Over the last year, I tried to smash the maple syrup-drenched scraps of Riverdale into a comprehensible narrative. I once spent so much time unraveling the serial killer terrors of Mindhunter that I was terrified of a real life maintenance guy who showed up to my apartment for purely innocuous reasons. You can read 11,000 words on the trippy twists of Chambers here.

But, my trip down the rabbit hole has ceased, if only for a moment. Because I’m going to recap Netflix’s Trinkets for you. Sweet, sincere, brand-new Trinkets, which premieres on 14th June. There is not one mysterious dead body in Trinkets or mind-bending life-or-death supernatural crisis afoot. Instead, there are just three lovable teenage girls — Elodie Davis (Deadpool’s Brianna Hildebrand), Tabitha Foster (Quintessa Swindell), and Moe Truax (Kiana Madeira) — and their shared addiction: stealing trinkets.

As the trailer for the YA streaming dramedy reveals, Elodie, Tabitha, and Moe cross paths in a Shoplifters Anonymous meeting where they are anything but anonymous to each other. All three go to the same Portland high school (the show is very heavy on the “Keep Portland weird” ethos), but couldn't be more different. Elodie is the loner new girl. Tabitha is the queen bee with a perfect life. Moe is the moody outcast with more than one secret. And there’s more to every single one of those stories, which Trinkets aims to reveal.

So let’s figure out what happens when a trio of teens with supposedly nothing in common get thrown together. Prepare for a shocking amount of petty (and not-so-petty) crime, the most earnest friendships possible, and a few murder-free surprises along the way.

Welcome to the world of Trinkets. It is immediately an almost comically abrupt entrance. A mere three minutes into the premiere, heroine Elodie is already at a high school party with Rachelle Cohen-Strauss (Haley Tju), a classmate at new school Lakeshore High. Rachelle’s father works with Elodie’s own hot dad Doug (Larry Sullivan, a man so symmetrical, he has appeared on both Big Little Lies and Scandal). Since Trinkets throws you directly into the deep end of its hormonal drama without a life vest, we’ll provide one.

Elodie, a shockingly talented shoplifter, has moved to Portland after growing up in Albuquerque, NM. The reason for her move is a tragic one: the sudden death of her mother, Mara (Lynn Adrianna). The cause of Mara’s death is still a mystery, but we do know she was likely hospitalised before passing. It seems Trinkets wants you to believe Mara died from a sudden bout of cancer, or a similar disease. After an unexplained incident in New Mexico following Mara’s death, Elodie’s Portland-set dad has decided she needs to live with him, his crunchy new wife Jenna (Dana Green), and their son Spencer (Parker Hall). This is the family Doug created when things ended with Mara in Albuquerque.

Elodie may spend every other holiday season with these people, but they’re not her family. Not really.

But, Doug and Jenna are still worried about Elodie after she’s caught shoplifting again at a local minimart… And she throws up on the guard’s shoes. So they send her to Shoplifters Anonymous. There, she finds Moe and Tabitha. Moe is a vape-smoking wise ass with perfect eyeliner who may be hiding an emotional centre. Even though Moe claims to be a loner, she’s the one who pesters Elodie with questions when they end up at the same trendy boutique. She is also the one who dreams up a stealing competition in said boutique. These are the behaviours of a person dying for social interaction who is too terrified to admit as much. This is the vibe we get from Moe’s burgeoning hookup situation with popular cutie Noah Simos (The Perfect Date’s Odiseas Georgiadis).

Rounding out Moe’s little crime challenge is Tabitha, a popular girl whom Moe has a long and thorny history with (who got the Polly Pocket in their youthful friendship breakup?). Tabitha is wealthy, but sad, likely due to her bad boyfriend, Brady Finch (13 Reasons Why’s Brandon Butler). As Elodie notices at the series-beginning party, Brady can get violent and mean with Tabitha. Yet, she stays with him because of the Instagram likes and expectations. Still, Tabitha attempts to rebel against her preppy image with a secret artsy Instagram called @Lips.In.Mirror where she posts pictures of moody aphorisms written in lipstick on mirrors.

This is a deeply strange character detail since a super cool Instagram would only make a popular girl more popular, not less. Ask Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch), who uses her retro bombshell aesthetic to strike fear into the hearts of every single person in Riverdale.

Alas, alack, Trinkets does not believe this. So, back to the winner-take-all shoplifting challenge. Elodie is triumphant because she is alarmingly good at stealing. While the scene of the Trinkets trio’s elaborate stealing is supposed to be thrilling, it’s mostly just concerning. This is a real crime. These girls could actually, really go to jail. I am worried for their futures like a local guidance counsellor. Although Elodie takes the top crime prize with her $400 necklace lift, Tabitha’s stolen leather jacket is very sweet. So sweet, she refuses to part with it to prove her Blair Waldorf-like dominance.

Then Elodie spills her saucy lunch all over Brady for being an aggressive jerk and changes Tabitha’s mind. In the last scene of the premiere, Tabitha stealthily slips Elodie the jacket. She responds with a smile made for soft Tumblr memes.

Still, I’m not so sure Elodie needs yet another pilfered treasure. As we see towards the end of the episode, Elodie is sitting on thousands of dollars worth of stolen goods, which are all crammed into a suitcase below her bed. Friends, meet the Chekov’s Luggage of Trinkets.

Best trinket: The eye candy that is Luca Novak (Teen Wolf/13 Reasons Why alum Henry Zaga), the hot bartender at SA. Tabitha would certainly agree. Although, should Luca, who sure seems like an adult man, be flirting with vulnerable teen girls in the midst of an addiction? They are baby!

We need to talk about Brady. In a show that doesn’t exactly have a main villain — no Gargoyle King or Black Hood here — he is Trinkets’ most nefarious presence. As the premiere proved, Brady can become aggressive with Tabitha. As its followup, “Paper Tiger” proves, Brady is genuinely dangerous. In the final scene of the episode, Brady becomes upset that Tabitha left his terrible video game hang and is now texting unknown individuals (it’s Elodie and Moe). Brady is enraged Tabitha won’t answer his questions and throws her phone at a wall, breaking it. “Happy now?” he yells at her.

This is an abusive relationship. For Brady, his scary behaviour is Tabitha’s fault — not his own.

But, Trinkets wants us to know Tabby has a much better romantic option, and his name is Luca. Luca is the one who brings everyone to “Paper Tiger’s” namesake, the club where he works as a bartender.

Each member of the Trinkets is pulled towards PT in a different way. Elodie, the gang’s music fan, genuinely wants to go see real-life indie pop star Frankie Simone perform. She also needs a place to hand off the stolen leather jacket to a prospective buyer. This is the only way Elodie can get to Albuquerque for her “girlfriend” Zoey’s birthday party that weekend. The Frankie Simone show takes care of two birds with one stone. So, Elodie lies to her dad about cramps to get out of a family basketball outing.

Unfortunately for Elodie, she is scammed by the would-be outwear purchaser, who tries on the already stolen jacket, bolts from the club, and jumps in a getaway car while screaming, “Screw you!” At least Tabitha and Moe are there to support Elodie in the very meta backstabbing. It’s then that Elodie explains she just wants to go see her “girlfriend” because she feels “so alone” in Portland. Tabitha and Moe agree with the sentiment and bring her back inside to enjoy Frankie Simone’s performance. The sparks of true friendship are afoot.

Still, Tabitha and Moe end up at Paper Tiger for their own lonely reasons. Tabitha heads to the club after realising her hot date with Brady is actually a group hang with his annoying friends. So she peaces out to go flirt with Luca, at whom she eventually yells “I have a boyfriend!” Classic. While Luca is clearly a very dateable man — he even asks about Tabitha’s grandpa and genuinely wants to hear her response — I would feel much better if Trinkets would just tell me his date of birth.

At least I don’t have to worry about Noah, a lovely boy. Moe shows up at Paper Tiger after her mother — a tireless single mum — cancels quality time plans to take a night shift at work. When Noah is also busy, Moe goes to the club for a distraction. After a few hours with friends, Noah strides into Moe’s room ready to hook up. It’s a nice sex-positive scene, but I feel so bad for Noah. Despite Moe’s burnout packaging, she’s actually a genius who is applying to a STEM program abroad and reads 20th century scientific philosophy before bed. Noah knows this about Moe and likes it. She in turn keeps him at a distance, saying she likes him for being “dumb.” At this point, Noah refers to himself as Moe’s “dirty little secret.” It’s a lot. It should be less.

At least these two are enjoying their extremely under wraps sex life, right?

On the other hand, Elodie and her “girlfriend” Zoey aren’t having any fun in the bedroom — and long-distance isn’t to blame. Instead, Elodie and Zoey aren’t dating. Elodie lied. Towards the end of the episode, Elodie scrolls through Zoey’s Instagram feed to reveal her friend back in New Mexico is actually dating someone else. Elodie is relegated to best friend status. Apparently, Elodie is so hurt over the situation that she unfollows Zoey (or, does she not want her new friends to easily track down her deception by way of an easy ‘gram search?).

Either way, everyone should feel a little bad for Zoey In Albuquerque. On her end, she invited her long-distance best friend to her birthday party, and then that best friend abruptly unfollowed her on Instagram without even an explanation. Poor Zoey.

— Tabitha’s parents are played by top three Teen Wolf parent Linden Ashby and longtime actress Joy Bryant. You may not initially realise Bryant is here, since Trinkets camouflages her features with a confusing amount of hair in front of her face.

— Bryant’s character is Lori Foster, a wannabe social media influencer who is bafflingly judgmental about her daughter’s outfit choices.

— Elodie’s dad and Jenna want to give her a curfew. She reminds them her mum never thought she needed a curfew. Point goes to Elodie. But will Jenna ever get to be anything other than “concerned, mostly silent stepmom?”

Best trinket: The leather jacket. It brings our trio together — something even soul-baring Shoplifters Anonymous confessions couldn’t do.

The truth about Elodie and Zoey came out almost immediately. Just one episode after Trinkets told us Elodie is lying about her “girlfriend from New Mexico” — that sounds familiar — she recants the whole story. In a sex shop, of course. Teens!

While Tabitha and Moe momentarily worry Elodie is “pathological,” that isn’t the case. Rather, Elodie tried to make her relationship with BFF Zoey “something more,” but Zoey wasn’t interested. Elodie is clearly still smarting from the rejection, especially since Zoey picked someone else to be her girlfriend. So no, Elodie has never had a relationship, with Zoey or otherwise. And, Elodie definitely hasn’t had sex.

Rather than freak out, Tabitha and Moe throw their support around Elodie. As is this group’s way, that means a crime is committed. They urge Elodie to pick up a vibrator, and she does, slipping one into her jacket pocket. Tabitha also lifts one. Moe does not, and that’s a good thing. Moe is stopped by the rightly suspicious cashier, who doesn’t find anything in her bag. Phew.

Although Elodie’s big reveal is a game changer, “P*ssy Palace” belongs to Tabitha. We open on her and Brady mid-hookup. A moment that should be sexy is ruined by Brady resting his hands directly in Tabitha’s curls. With every thrust, he pulls Tabitha’s hair — and not in the fun way. It’s in the very annoying and painful way. When Tabitha asks Brady to stop, he ignores her, focusing instead on how close he is to finishing. The only thing that can stop Brady from crushing his girlfriend’s hair is the arrival of her dad, Whit (Ashby).

Whit offers to help get Brady into Stanford in the same breath he chastises Tabitha for supposedly breaking her phone. Little does Mr. Foster realise he’s trying to support the boy who is continuously hurting his child.

Tabitha continues to grapple with Brady’s boorish behaviour throughout Lakeshore Service Day. In the middle of a tree planting/park cleanup project, Brady loudly mocks a homeless man. When Brady is done putting on an awful show, Tabitha approaches the homeless man and offers him her lunch for the day as an apology. The man is appreciative. That night, in Brady’s room, Tabitha attempts to introduce the vibrator she stole into her and Brady’s sex life. He is livid and tosses her out of his room. When Tabitha tries to soothe him, you can tell by her hand motions she’s afraid he’s going to hit her.

In an effort to find a little bit of happiness, Tabitha heads to the Paper Tiger to see Luca. She kisses him, but he rejects her saying he doesn’t want to be part of her “high school drama.” Again I wonder how old this man is. Tabitha just fights back tears.

Oh, and Tabitha’s dad is cheating on her mum. Tabitha knows as much because she, Elodie, and Moe see Whit kiss a younger mystery blonde outside of a restaurant. Now all his late nights at work and long tennis games make sense. Someone give Tabitha a hug.

— AJ (Jacob Skidmore), Elodie’s protest-happy classmate, is such a lovely bright spot in the series. More of them please. Maybe they can take all of Brady’s screen time.

— Moe is annoyed with Noah for letting his mean girl ex criticise her multiple times during service day. Noah says he allowed it because Moe doesn’t want people to know they are friends, let alone seeing each other. Both are a little bit right. These kids are drowning in mixed messages.

— At the top of the episode, Elodie becomes upset about the loudness of her new home and the brightness of her room. By the end of “Palace,” Jenna has gotten her drapes. It’s a small signal this could become her home. Elodie celebrates by turning on her vibrator for the first time. A christening we can all support.

Best trinket: Tabitha’s stolen lingerie. It’s for her pleasure, y’all.

“I find it oddly calming. People, places, they come and go. But… objects stay,” Elodie explains in this episode while lovingly revealing her horde of lifted bauble to Moe. That is the true reason Elodie has an addiction to stealing. Her problem may have started as a road towards retribution for her mom’s sudden death, but now it’s a soothing technique. When Moe caresses her suitcase of stolen trinkets, Elodie remembers that every single thing isn’t destined to vanish.While this look inside Elodie’s brain is a much-needed Trinkets revelation, it’s not the only one hiding in “Happy F**king Birthday.” It’s an episode dedicated to answering our biggest questions about these characters while also sending us to Tabitha’s boat-set birthday party.

If there’s one message you take away from “Birthday,” let it be why Tabitha finds it so hard to break up with Brady, which does finally happen in this episode. The problem is her mom. For whatever reason, Lori is consumed with the idea of creating the perfect life online and IRL. Take the moment Tabitha walks into her birthday party. Seconds later, Lori begs her daughter to re-do her entrance so she can get just the right photo. The underlying meaning here is: Your first try wasn’t good enough.

The problem between Tabitha and Lori becomes so much more obvious after Tabitha announces her breakup with Brady to her mom. The last straw for Tabitha was Brady nearly throwing her over a yacht at the party, all because she wanted him to stop grabbing at her. Lori, doesn’t want to hear any of that. She calls her daughter “so dramatic,” “moody,” and reassures her she and Brady will work it out tomorrow. Tabitha suggests there’s a reason for the constant breakups and the “complicated” nature of their relationship. Lori ignores all of these warning signs that something is very wrong with Tabitha and asks her to pull it together for the cake presentation.

No wonder Tabitha is so obsessed with keeping up appearances — her mom has been asking her to do it all her life. So, she sarcastically scribbles “Happy fucking birthday” on a yacht mirror for her secret Instagram.

With Tabitha trapped with her parents and Brady on a boat, Moe and Elodie are free to get to know each other back on land. Moe claims this hangout is for Elodie’s own good, but it seems like she is just as lonely as the new girl — especially since Moe is fighting with Noah again. That is how the pair end up in Elodie’s room staring at her treasure trove of pilfered items. Moe explains she is “less of a hoarder” when it comes to her shoplifting.

Eventually the girls move downstairs, just in time to run into Elodie’s father Doug. He’s wearing extremely tight biker shorts. Elodie is mortified, but Moe can’t complain. After all, she and Doug both love Kelly Point Park and its secret beach. Elodie, shocked at how much Moe likes her dad, finally explains how he ended up in Portland. Elodie’s parents divorced when she was 6. Her dad was “floundering” in New Mexico, so when he got a job offer in Portland, he took it. Now, he’s clearly flourishing.

“Seeing him be Mr. Perfect Dad to my step-brother is maddening,” Elodie adds. Surprise, Spencer is not Doug’s biological son, despite all prior suggestion he is. This revelation probably upsets Elodie even more since she wonders where Doug’s new behavior was for the last 10 years of her life — and why someone who isn’t even Doug’s biological child gets this kind of care. The resentment is undeniable.

At least Moe puts Elodie’s wallowing into perspective. She, too, has an estranged relationship with her father, who “hasn’t exactly been around.” Moe does not see him, while Elodie definitely spent rotating holiday seasons with Doug before the move. Moe’s brother is also “away,” suggesting the possibility both her father and brother are in prison right now. Elodie may be irritated by her dad, but Moe is facing some true father-daughter hardships. That’s why Moe’s mom is legitimately a “fucking hero,” as she says, holding down the entire fort on her own.

To get away from their respective family problems, Elodie and Moe go to a party at what appears to be an abandoned warehouse. Elodie kisses a girl, it’s nice. Moe rejects a former hookup after seeing Noah’s “I’m a lemming” Instagram post (it’s a reference an insult she lobbied at him in the prior episode). Despite all the emotions of “F**king Birthday,” Moe’s would-be hookup asking if she wants to take a walk in the woods and adding, “You know, I mean, like, for sex,” is so genuinely funny.

After these very separate adventures, the Trinkets trio regroups in a random stretch of woods. Elodie and Moe support Tabitha’s split in a way her mom never could. At this exact moment of catharsis, Tabitha’s phone begins blowing up. Brady posted something, but it’s unclear what. Sadly, my mind jumps immediately to revenge porn. That would certainly explain Moe’s last words of the episode: “He is so fucking dead.”

— Tabitha hasn’t told anyone about her dad’s affair yet, so their relationship is a total cold war on the party boat. It’s sad.

— Lori and Serena Joy’s mean mom on Handmaid’s Tale should have a real talk about listening to their daughters about their terrible romantic partners.

Best trinket: Tabitha’s watch from her grandpa. But, it’s now stuck in Brady’s glove compartment after their breakup. Oh no. And she’s stuck with the ugly smartwatch Brady gave her instead. Double oh no.

When shows give me anxiety, I sometimes have to skip entire scenes. I’m already anxious enough — I do not need to fret about fictional teens and their grand theft auto prospects. However, that is exactly what “Big Mistake” made me do, even when I skipped around. Because no matter how I watch this episode, Elodie, Tabitha, and Moe will still end up pushing Brady’s car into a lake. That must be a felony. And, thanks to Elodie’s very real stealing addiction, the evidence of the girls’ crime — Brady’s car key — is hiding in the palm of her hand.

Before my blood pressure goes any higher thinking about this unfortunate event, let’s rewind and figure out why the Trinkets trio could be looking at serious jail time down the road. As I sadly guessed with the last episode, Brady did pull a revenge porn scheme. However, I underestimated the malevolent way he would let it unfold.

Brady did not blast out Tabitha’s private photos via text, spreading them like a virus. Instead, he hacked Tabitha’s very popular “real” Instagram, @Tabs.Foster, and shared a photo of her in her underwear with the caption “big mistake.” This way, it appears Tabitha posted the photo. Tabitha knows the caption is a threat from Brady. But, to everyone else, it appears Tabitha shared the picture to remind Brady what he lost by breaking up with her. Yes, Brady is also been lying about who ended things.

Since @Tabs.Foster is so popular — 272 people have liked the photo at the beginning of “Big Mistake” — it will only hurt Tabitha to take it down. People will wonder if she became ashamed of the image or if her big bet to get Brady back failed. With one disturbingly manipulative move, Brady has bullied Tabitha into keeping a deeply personal image on the internet. Tabitha even tries to justify the violation, telling Elodie and Moe she has posted similar revealing photos before — why should this be different? The depths of Brady’s evil continues to shock me.

Elodie and Moe are equally upset, especially since Brady refuses to give Tabitha her grandfather’s watch back (he made her put it in his glove compartment in the last episode). So the girls decide to break into his car to steal it back. Moe acts as a lookout, waiting to see when Lakeshore High is distracted by one of Brady’s sports games. Then, master thief Elodie sneaks into the locker room and uses the Tabitha-provided combination to take his keys. Minutes later, the trio is in Brady’s sports car and in possession of the watch. Success.

Then things go awry since Brady, jerk that he is, parked in a handicap spot. An actual person with disabilities appears at the exact moment the girls are in the car, and honks at them to move. So, Moe must drive the car to another spot. Rather than just park, Moe announces it’s time for a joyride. Elodie repeatedly says this is a bad idea — everyone ignores her.

Everything is all dance parties, drive-in milkshakes, and crush talk, until they put Elodie behind the wheel. She flashes to another moment in another car and sees a dreamcatcher. Her panic is immediate, and she slides into a guardrail. While the girls don’t go head-first over the side of a cliff, they do scratch the entire right side of Brady’s car. This is bad. Like really bad. When everyone freaks out about what to do, Tabitha reveals why she is personally so upset. Brady hurt her for the first time when she spilled coffee in his car. She lied about the resulting bruise to her mom, thinking it was a one-time outburst. It wasn’t. Imagine what he’ll do over a three-yards-long scratch.

Rather than find out, Tabitha accepts this simply can’t be fixed. She throws a rock through the busted-up car to really get that point across. Then, it’s a flashforward and the Trinkets crew looks very upset at Moe’s house. For a second you wonder “What happened.” We get the answer immediately, as St. Vincent’s “Slow Dance” plays over a crime montage. In a show of solidarity, and to hide the thousands of dollars in damage they inflicted upon Brady’s car, the girls push it into a lake. “We’re gonna be okay, right?” Tabitha asks afterwards at the world’s most somber sleepover.

Gosh, I hope so. But, Elodie’s little car key post-crime trophy suggests otherwise, Tabby.

— Noah conned his way into becoming Moe’s lab partner. He also filled her textbook with very sweet notes. I love Noah! Noah forever!

— Elodie says she misses having a good crush on someone. Is a new love interest in the cards? Will that help her stop with all the crimes?

Best trinket: The car. The car they pushed into a lake.

Trinkets is ready to open up about its biggest tragedies — it only took half a season. “Rearview Mirror” begins dropping cold hard facts about the death of Elodie’s mom, Mara, in the first seconds of the episode. In the cold open, Mara is driving down a Southwest highway while Elodie sits in the passenger seat. Mara urges her daughter to go camping — “I mean Zoey and Krista will be there, right?” she asks — but Elodie isn’t so sure. She stares at the dreamcatcher above the dashboard; it’s the same one she imagined before the “Big Mistake Accident.”

In a flash, the sunny desert day turns into a stormy one. Elodie and her mom are now speeding through a forest. “How do you feel about pizza?” Elodie says before you hear tires screeching, and a car plunges into a body of water. Elodie shoots awake in bed. Mara died in a car accident. The only thing that seems unclear about that dream sequence is whether the watery car scene is what happened in the accident, or a memory of ditching Brady’s car. That question isn’t answered by Elodie and Tabitha’s heart-to-heart in the episode, where the former explains she and her mom were hit by a drunk drinker who “walked away without a scratch.”

No wonder Elodie was so “freaked out” by driving Brady’s car in the prior episode. Even though she wasn’t driving on the day her mom died, she still hasn’t been behind the wheel in the months since. The “Big Mistake” joyride brought back all her darkest memories. Now she’s supposed to relive the worst day of her life by giving a statement to a lawyer about Mara’s death for the drunk driver’s trial. Usually, it’s hard-shelled Moe who desperately needs a hug. Today, it’s Elodie.

That doesn’t mean Moe has an easy episode, though. As Moe is running the Lakeshore track for gym, she gets a call from Two Rivers Correctional Institute. A man we can assume is her father, Danny Truax, is on the other line (they have the same last name, and he doesn’t have the voice of a teen). Moe wants to talk to Noah about the surprise call, so she sends him a bunch of texts. He ignores her. At the end of the day, Moe spots Noah walking out of school with Kayla (Jessica Lynn Skinner), his ex. In “Big Mistake,” Tabitha recommended Moe be wary of a relationship with Noah, considering all his back-and-forth history with Kayla.

When Moe sees the two together, she chooses to follow Tabitha’s advice and pushes Noah away again. She tells him to go to the dance with Kayla or some other chill girl. After six episodes of whiplash, these two need a break from each other. I can’t take much more.

At least Elodie and Tabitha’s romantic prospects are improving. The pair visits Paper Tiger for a show to end “Rearview.” While there, Tabitha has a nice chat with Luca and shares some flirty eye contact with him to close out the episode. At the same time, Elodie stares at new character Sabine (Kat Cunning), Luca’s roommate and a budding rock star, with absolute awe, giving her that crush she was talking about in the last episode. Sabrine seems equally enamoured with Elodie, asking her to be her groupie and gifting Elodie the button she was already in the midst of stealing.

Someone as beautiful, enigmatic, and musically talented as Sabine is pure catnip for Elodie. I, on the other hand, just want to know how old she is.

— Rachelle From the Premiere is enjoying her own little rom-com world. We know nothing about it, but I’m so glad she’s going to the dance with someone. She seems so truly excited.

— Elodie’s teacher confiscates her phone for looking at pictures of Mara in class. Considering Elodie’s tragic history, it seems unlikely this would ever happen. Wouldn’t she know to treat a student as fragile as Elodie with kid gloves? Or, wouldn’t someone as currently argumentative as Elodie explain she was looking at pictures of her dead mom?

Best trinket: Elodie’s gifted button. It could be the start of a very beautiful love story.

Trinkets friend, I can finally be totally honest with you, much like Moe at the end of “Truth Serum.” Look, Moe doesn’t steal. She has never had a shoplifting problem. She has been lying to us since the very beginning. It’s a secret that comes out when the Trinkets trio is at their strongest, making destruction of Moe’s lie all the sadder.

When the episode begins, it seems impossible anything could tear these three asunder. Rather than go to the cursed Lakeshore dance, Elodie, Tabitha, and Moe plan to hit up a party at Luca and Sabine’s home. Tabitha says she wants to spend the night doing anything but “playing the role of Tabitha Foster.” Now you know things are about to go sideways.

About 8 seconds into the party, Tabby breaks a glass, reminding you that she is a high schooler at an adult get-together. But, Sabine doesn’t seem to care about that very important fact. She reassures Tabitha a party isn’t a party until something gets broken and thens steal Elodie away into the kitchen. Elodie is so endearingly head over heels for Sabine, with her cat who ate the canary grin and millions of pieces of jewellry. When Elodie says she’s an “idiot,” Sabine shoots back that she “has a thing for idiots.” Aw.

Actually landing Sabine, however, isn’t so easy. When the musician’s friends show up with molly, Sabine slips away to hang out with that crowd. So Elodie decides to pop some MDMA to get on her crush’s level, and Tabitha and Moe agree to join her in a show of support. Still, Sabine keeps dodging Elodie, even when Molly tries to push them together. At one point, they have their arms around each other, but Sabine dashes off to get some water. Later, when Elodie is showing off her music knowledge, Sabine appears only to slip away again to deal with an ice shortage.

Tabitha’s part of the story may explain why Sabine seems so flirty but so very hesitant: Luca. When Sabine goes to figure out the ice crisis, she happens upon Luca and Tabitha making out. Sabine is upset she’s “doing all the work” while Luca is “hooking up with someone else.” Does that mean these two are together? For Luca, the answer is no. For Sabine, it’s “it’s complicated.” Then why, oh why, is Sabine keeping Elodie on the line?

Moe isn’t asking any of these questions because she is making out with an unproblematic instant fave, some random hot person named Vice (Cody Troxel). In the middle of kissing, Moe keeps seeing the figment of Noah instead of the real Vice. Eventually she realizes that means she needs to talk to Noah, so she rallies the crew to go to the dance. Noah and Kayla may have went as dates, but Moe doesn’t care. Thank the MDMA.

In a classic rom-com trope, Moe is barred from going to the dance and unloading her feelings. She’s forced to call Noah from outside and tells him she may love him, which is very sweet. They even share a wall scene reminiscent of one of Teen Wolf’s best shots, which features its most powerful ship, Stydia. Please, TV gods, let Moe and Noah work things out.

Fresh off the good vibes of telling Noah the truth, Moe lets her friends in on her shoplifting secret. While they may horde thousands of dollars in baubles or 200 lipsticks, she doesn’t steal. Now her lack of real creativity during the first lifting challenge makes sense (she just swiped a pair of Spanx). As does her very dubious look in “Birthday” when Elodie asks if she lies at Shoplifters Anonymous meetings. Yes, Moe lies in SA — just not in the way Elodie believed at the time. And don’t forget about that vibrator Moe never stole.

While there’s obviously more to this story, Elodie and Tabitha don’t want to hear it in the very Molly-y moment. Not only do they feel betrayed, but Moe’s inebriated explanation makes her sound like a tourist in their pain, silently judging them from the sidelines. She didn’t mean for this, but something had to go awry as Trinkets heads into its final episodes.

How is this going to get fixed?

— The trio gets a tiny triangle tattoo to commemorate their friendship. Despite my health and safety concerns over a “stick and poke” at a boozy Portland party, I can confirm the results are some of TV’s cutest tattoos.

Best trinket: The group’s playlist. Tabitha actually listened to it, and I don’t believe anything has ever meant more to Elodie.

You better have your No. 2 pencils, because it’s time for the PSAT. Trinkets separates “Monday I’m in Love” into character vignettes, so I will too.

Today is not only the day that will maybe, kinda-sorta predict Elodie’s SAT prospects. She is also supposed to go give her car crash deposition to the lawyer on this day. How her dad didn’t realise that kind of massive emotional pressure may influence her test performance is beyond me. Doug, what are you doing?

When Elodie leaves the test, her mind isn’t on reliving the most painful day of her life — it’s on Sabine. She texts her and gets offered a coffee date that very afternoon.

While waiting on cortados, Sabine explains what’s going on between her and Luca. They met a few years ago, and he immediately had a crush on Sabine. Not wanting to break his already delicate heart, they entered into some kind of relationship. Sabine is not one for labels. Elodie responds by outing Luca’s Shoplifters Anonymous attendance, forgetting the whole “Anonymous” part. She is 16, it is an understandable flub.

Coffee in hand, the girls go for a romantic walk through the rain. Elodie tries to leave for her deposition, but Sabine offers to walk with her towards an alleged errand of her own. This is where Sabine’s true, not extremely appealing, colours show through. She gets Elodie to follow her into a store and demands she steal a pair of sunglasses for her. Elodie is seriously terrified of the idea — “You can’t steal from a store this small” — but Sabine is insistent. So Elodie puts herself at risk to prove she is “good” at lifting and slips the sunglasses into her sweater sleeve.

The scheme is a success. Outside, Sabine kisses Elodie for her good work. But, you can’t shake the feeling Sabine might be an emotional vampire, using a lovestruck Elodie for her attention, devotion, and outsized criminal ability. Does Sabine really like Elodie, or is she more into her trendy new shades?

Doug for one doesn’t care about the answer. He catches Elodie’s kiss and grounds her for choosing “some girl” over a real priority like giving her statement. He grounds her as punishment, stopping her from seeing the mystery person who shows up at the Davis’ doorstep.

Despite their recent argument, Noah still sits across from Moe during the PSATs. When Moe leaves school, she is stopped by counsellor Mr. Dunford (Emmett Pearson-Brown), who informs her she got into the STEM program in [South?] Korea. She really is a genius.

Noah is the first person she wants to share her good news with, so she goes to the skate park where he hangs out. Within a minute of trying to show off for Moe, Noah wipes out and is left clutching his arm from the ground. They go to the hospital where Moe’s mom works, giving Vicky the opportunity to meet the boy who stole her daughter’s heart.

Speaking of hearts, Trinkets’ best pair finally gets real about how they feel. Noah explains how anxious he is to get sports scholarships in order to go to college. Moe confirms the voicemail she left, admitting she maybe loves Noah, was true. She really does love him, even if that’s not “smart.” Noah looks so happy my heart could burst. And his arm is only sprained, so he can still play soccer. Good news all around.

But what’s gold can never stay with Moe and Noah. Just a few scenes later, as the couple is about to have celebratory sex, Noah comes clean — he hooked up with Kayla after the dance. Moe is brought to tears and ends things again. He storms out of her room, and I am exhausted.

Tabitha has what begins as the best day of the trio. She asks Luca to be her art class subject, and they spend the day flirting while running errands. Sometimes, he takes pictures of her. Since they are both wildly good looking individuals, we can all be confident Tabitha is on her way to an A.

The day culminates in Tabitha and Luca taking their purchases to Luca’s new apartment, where he is living now that things with Sabine are truly good and over. The relationship may have been serious at one time, yet, as Luca says, “What Sabine wants more than a relationship is an audience.” Things eventually became toxic. I am concerned for our baby Elodie.

However, Tabitha and Luca aren’t thinking of anyone but each other in the dark quiet of Luca’s apartment. They make out, but Tabitha says she doesn’t know if she’s ready for anything more. When Luca says Tabitha can “call the shots,” she seems to loosen up. While it’s purposefully unclear if the pair does end up having sex, they definitely share a really hot make out. Unfortunately, a smiling Tabitha returns home to find Brady inexplicably sitting in her living room. He clearly wants to get back together. Tabitha doesn’t want to be with someone who abuses her.

When Brady leaves, her mom appears to ask why she is “so mean” to her ex. This unnecessary comment is the last straw for Tabitha. She yells at Lori that Brady wasn’t nice to her. She wants to know what’s wrong with her mom and her priorities. Finally, she screams, “No wonder Dad cheated on you.” WIth that bombshell dropped, Tabitha storms out of the house and drives to Elodie’s house. She is the person Doug waves away, talking about Elodie’s grounding.

“They found Brady’s car,” Tabitha texts from the sidewalk to Elodie and Moe. These three are bonded for life.

— Elodie gets a cortado because Sabine got a cortado. When I was 16 I was solely drinking skim milk mocha lattes from Dunkin’ Donuts. Is this Elodie’s first fancy espresso beverage?

— Having students face each other during standardised testing seems like a cheater’s paradise, but sure, LHS.

— Lori makes me want to scream.

Best trinket: The couch that hosted Luca and Tabitha’s heart-to-heart. It’s fly as hell, they should have bought it.

It is an episode of changes here in “Night Market.” The first big one comes at the very beginning of the episode, with Moe coming clean after months, if not years, of lying at Shoplifters Anonymous. She took the fall for the friend of her much-talked-about, never-seen brother. Since Moe was and still is a minor at the time, she got a much lighter sentence than this mystery pal. She had a court order to go to SA, but continued on long after it was legally demanded.

“Coming here just felt oddly therapeutic,” she explains in front of the entire group. For leader de facto leader Shawn (10 Things I Hate About You little sister Larisa Oleynik), Moe’s admission is a respectable show of bravery. For Elodie and Tabitha, it’s too little to late. So Shawn asks them to quit the Real Housewives bickering and go talk outside. Elodie seems to be the most hurt, explaining that she, unlike Tabitha, showed Moe her stash. Now, she’s convinced Moe was judging her the whole time. Looking back, it does feel that way. But Moe swears it was never like that. Elodie is too overwhelmed to care and walks away.

If she had stayed, she would have heard one of Trinkets’ more interesting tidbits. Moe says she kept going to SA as a way to control her narrative. Ever since her dad Danny went to jail, everyone expects the worst from her. At least now, she can manage the story. And, for the record, it was really nice to see Tabitha, her ex-friend, again. At this point, I believe Tabitha’s parents made their daughter end her friendship with Moe after Danny went to jail.

Now, years later, the parents’ lives couldn’t be more different. Tabitha’s dad is moving out after Tabitha outed him for being a cheater. Lori already knew about the infidelity, but was only pushed to action once her daughter called her out on it. As one father leaves, another returns. Danny is officially out of jail and staying with Moe’s uncle Carl (Michael Ray Escamilla). Danny isn’t home when Moe shows up, further prolonging their reunion. Considering how long Trinkets is dragging out Danny’s introduction, he better be a hot former teen star à la the Riverdale parents.

All of this emotional tumult brings out main trio to the Lakeshore High Night Market, where Doug and Jenna will sell SCOBY, the building blocks for kombucha. Tabitha and Moe show up with their own respective moms, and surreptitiously catch up over some prints. It is very obvious Tabitha is ready to forgive Moe.

But, only something big could change Elodie’s mind about Moe. That transformation push arrives when Spencer goes missing during the night market. The kid wanted vegan bahn mi, but Elodie gave him caramel popcorn instead, which is a food he has definitely never eaten before. Elodie then goes on a crime spree throughout the market, even though the child she is charged with is complaining about not feeling well. By the time Elodie comes to, Spencer is gone. This is one of Trinkets’ best reminders that stealing is a very real addiction for Elodie, rather than a hobby.

After some panicky running about, the girls find Spencer trapped in a bumper car. How he wound up inside of the car, which is housed in a pitch black, closed off building and behind a gigantic heavy door even Elodie has trouble opening. But plot is going to do whatever plot has to do for the desired emotional effect. Spencer is so happy to be found, he bursts into tears.

When Doug goes to scold Elodie for losing Spencer, she also bursts into tears. She says she ruins everything and blames herself for her mother Mara’s death. If she hadn’t asked Mara to come pick her up from a party, Elodie claims, she would still be alive. She wakes up with this guilt everyday and it’s slowly eating away at her. That is why Elodie has been avoiding the deposition — she can’t face the music. Doug tells his daughter she isn’t responsible for some drunk driver’s actions. By the end of “Night Market,” Elodie agrees to do the deposition as a way to honor her mom.

Moe gets an equally sweet ending for once. First, her mom finds out about Korea and is legitimately supportive. Then Noah tricks her into going down to Paula’s Pies, where they first fell in love, and the place is filled with the kind of cherry blossoms Seoul is famous for. He pledges his undying teenage love and promises to wait for Moe when she’s abroad. It is the single nicest moment in Trinkets and I will flip a table if some minor indiscretion undoes it in the finale.

And oh, what a finale it is bound to be. “Night Market” ends with Spencer playing with his toys on Elodie’s stash suitcase. It’s only a matter of time until one of his parents notices it and asks what’s inside. I told you this was Chekov’s luggage.

— This is Lori’s most thoughtful episode. Now if only she could explain her unshakeable fandom for Brady.

— Brady continues to be awful. He stalks Tabitha home and watches her kiss Luca from his car. The angry look on his face promises this isn’t going to end well.

— Spencer is going to go over that bumper car incident for at least a year in therapy.

Best trinket: Doug and Jenna’s very silly SCOBY. Without their need to sell “symbiotic culture, bacteria, and yeast,” Spencer would have never gone missing. That means Elodie would have never needed Tabitha and Moe’s help, effectively getting the gang back together again. And without the stress of that situation, Elodie would have never unloaded her feelings of guilt around Mara’s death.

Thank you, SCOBY!

Trinkets tries to scare us with the cold open in its finale — “Great Escape” begins with an upset-looking Elodie standing at the edge of a bridge. Considering that the penultimate episode ends with Elodie’s step-brother Spencer playing with her stash of stolen items, it seems the show wants you to believe her parents found the suitcase. It would have you believe she’s considering a dangerous response to evade the consequences. But, Elodie isn’t suicidal, as the next 20-something minutes confirm. No, Elodie is more invested in her life, and the freedom that comes with it, than ever before.

She is simply saying goodbye to the Portland she has grown to love over the last 10 episodes.

Before we know any of that, the finale rewinds to 24 hours prior. Elodie, Tabitha, and Moe are all in Shoplifters Anonymous, and their friendship has never been stronger. Elodie shares a story that is meant to be a love letter to her best friends. For her, the true delight of stealing is sharing her criminal stories with someone else. It’s a sweet gesture that is also a concerning one.

For now, everyone is too content to worry about what Elodie’s passion for illegal behavior really means. She has Sabine and is so happy about it. Elodie is even eating family dinner and complimenting Jenna’s curry. Tabitha and Luca are exploring what their relationship could be and how bowling dates fit into that. They’re planning a sexy sleepover. Moe is finally settled in with Noah. When she asks her mom if she should reconnect with her dad, Vicky is supportive. It’s all very nice.

Then the cracks begin to show. When Elodie goes to see Sabine, the singer reveals she’s going on tour starting tomorrow. Sabine wants Elodie to join her, but seems to be forgetting about a little thing called school (and her crush’s status as a minor). Tabitha’s parents are getting back together just one episode after Lori’s powerful decision to break things off with her cheating husband. Tabitha is understandably disappointed, especially since her parents’ reunion puts a damper on her overnight date with Luca. Now she has to go to a Foster family event instead.

However, poor Moe gets the shortest end of the stick. She heads to Paula’s Pie for a father-daughter reunion with Danny, who stands her up and never even responds to Moe’s many texts — ghosted by her father!

The next day, things go from bad to worse. First, Brady approaches Tabitha to accuse her of stealing his car and pushing it into the lake. While Brady’s evidence is circumstantial at best, it could be enough to start an investigation. The car key was taken from his locker using his combination and Tabitha is the only person who knows those numbers. Nothing of value, other than the key, was stolen from the locker. The only thing missing from the car is Tabitha’s grandpa’s watch. It appears Tabitha purposefully broke into Brady's locker to steal his car and recover her beloved family heirloom. That is almost exactly what happened, minus the premeditated intent to steal the hot rod.

So, terrible Brady blackmails Tabitha into becoming his girlfriend again. If she agrees to date him, and bring him to her dad’s Stanford alumni events, he won’t rat her out to police. Tabitha agrees, but her friends try to save her. Elodie confesses to the crime. Moe punches Brady in the face. Since both girls have a black triangle tattoo on their wrists — just like Tabitha’s — he figures out they’re her accomplices.

Only Moe sees true consequences from this disaster, since she is suspended for hitting Brady. By the end of the episode, Moe’s admission to the Korean STEM program is revoked for the suspension. She is left crying and so should the rest of us. Justice for Moe.

These quick twists are usually enough drama for a finale, but Doug also finds Elodie’s stash suitcase. Inside of the luggage is the key to Brady’s car, which confirms she was involved in grand theft auto. Doug decides Elodie needs to go to an in-patient recovery center for her addiction, and he is correct. Elodie needs help. However, she doesn’t agree and enlists Tabitha and Moe to help her escape. Moe acts as a distraction while Tabitha breaks into Elodie’s room using a ladder to get her out of the house.

Soon enough, they’re running to a getaway car and heading to that bridge from the cold open. It’s there Elodie throws Brady’s car key, the last piece of evidence that can connect the girls to the theft, into the water below. Then, she, Tabitha, and Moe say their emotional goodbyes. After a long group hug, Elodie runs to Sabine’s touring van for a new adventure. I try not to worry about what this means for Elodie’s academic future and her possible need for a GED.

But, it’s more than likely Elodie will be pulled back to Portland soon enough. First, there’s the Sabine problem. As Luca told Tabitha in “Monday I’m in Love,” Sabine wants an audience — not a relationship. It seems inevitable the singer will grow tired of earnest, hopeful Elodie. Then there’s the Brady problem. Tabitha seemingly tells her mom the full, violent story behind her relationship with Brady and Lori bans him from the Stanford event. Tabitha doesn’t even go to the party, and instead heads over to Luca’s apartment to make out.

Brady, stewing in impotent rage, finally calls to Lake Oswego police to blame the crime on Tabitha, Elodie, and Moe. The police sirens in the final seconds of Trinkets seem to suggest the law is now after the girls. If the police put the pieces together, of course Elodie will come home to save her friends.

— Hurting from her STEM program rejection, Moe lifts a bottle of tequila. After fighting against the assumptions forced on her due to Danny’s arrest, she is giving in. Someone please check in on our smart, snarky girl.

Best trinket: Paula’s blueberry pie, a salve for every disappointing father in the world.