'Romance' is deemed so unquestionably desirable that we will use it to justify the most unimaginably cruel behaviour.
We're too busy swooning over Ryan Gosling to realise his character in The Notebook is effectively blackmailing a woman and not respecting her right to say no.
What romantic love does is offer the illusion of merging with another person. It offers a guise of comfort that we'll never be alone, or a relief from the reality that we are. In romantic love, we can lose ourselves in another.
Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. But it is not love…it seeks to receive rather than to give. It nourishes infantilism rather than growth. It works to trap and constrict rather than to liberate.