Penetration became about as pleasurable for me as pressing my hand on a hot hob and trying to hold it there for as long as possible. I'd dread even trying.
My breaking point came when I saw a gynaecologist who wouldn't use the scientific words for genitals – he referred to the urethra as the 'pee pee hole'.
I feel no embarrassment now, writing about the physical symptoms of vaginismus. But telling you about how it impacted me mentally brings back all the feelings of shame the condition caused. As a health condition it's intrinsically linked to the way society treats women.