I have spent a lot of time thinking about the Kardashian-Jenner's various homes. After having seen these houses on my TV screen, in magazine spreads, and all over social media, I've become quite familiar with them — as has pretty much anyone else who has ever been online. None of these spaces are particularly warm and inviting; full of gleaming marble, glossy tile, and — in the case of Kim's home — minimal use of furniture or colour, they just aren't cozy. They're also mostly interchangeable, with their ubiquitous Tracey Emin neon sculptures that would surely give me a migraine if I stared at them too long. Then again, just thinking too much about how all Kardashian West houseguests have to wear fabric booties over their shoes when visiting that "minimal monastery" gives me a headache too. Even their kids' cribs were made of hard, clear lucite, and their cookie jars are organised in a way that makes snacking feel like a no-no. No number of Hermès throws could convince me I'd ever feel at home in any of these places. And yet, I've never felt that unwelcoming vibe more strongly than when I recently laid eyes on Kylie Jenner's shower.
Over the weekend, Jenner showed off her shower on Instagram stories, and there's no way I'm the only one who literally shivered when I saw the space. From floor to ceiling, the shower is lined with black and pink marble, all enclosed with a glass door. There is no soap, shampoo, or even a Kylie skin product in sight. The empty stall seems cold, but as anyone who has ever showered knows, there is a way to remedy that — crank up that hot water and let the steam fog up all that glass and stone. Unfortunately, as many on social media have pointed out that, in this shower, that doesn't seem to be an option.
Jenner's video shows water gently spitting out of the matte black shower head; this is no spa-level torrential downpour, but a mere trickle. Naturally, this drummed up a lot of questions about the reality star's water pressure, or lack of it. Take a look at the clip and try not to picture yourself naked and wet with your arms crossed over your chest, shaking under the dribbling stream. Try not to think about all the conditioner that would surely be stuck in your hair after taking that shower for a spin. Perhaps that's why there aren't any products in the shower — this weak flow couldn't possibly rinse them off.
Since Jenner posted this video, Twitter users have gone absolutely wild. No Kar-Jen has caused this big of a plumbing-related stir since Kim shared a tutorial on how her super minimalist sinks work back in 2019. That said, while the low water pressure in such an outwardly luxurious shower is a pretty funny metaphorical representation of how I feel about nearly all of the Kardashian-Jenner's design choices, it's certainly not something to get up in arms about.
Headlines like "Kylie Jenner fans mock her $36m mansion's huge walk-in shower for embarrassing flaw" are ridiculous for a couple of reasons. First of all, true Kar-Jen interior design heads know that this iconic pink shower is located in Kylie Cosmetics HQ, off her personal green room, rather than in her home. Second of all, perhaps the low water pressure was an intentional choice on Kylie's part. Need I remind you all that conserving water is a good thing — imperative, even, especially in southern California. Perhaps since this shower is primarily used for rinsing off after photoshoots, the beauty mogul decided she could save water and go for a low flow showerhead.
While I wouldn't personally want to spend much time unwinding in that shower — just like I wouldn't personally want to wear fabric booties in my own home, eat out of an intricately organised cookie jar, sleep in a lucite bed, or have absolutely any white marble in my kitchen — I don't presume to know what's best for Kylie on her water pressure journey. I just truly hope those marble floors are heated. Because otherwise, that shower situation would be freezing.