Why Black Women Are Finding Freedom In Being Delusional

“Be delusional,” Kierra Lewis, a TikTok user yells into her phone. “Fuck what everybody else talks about, this whole be realistic thing. My key to life, the reason I be having so much fun is because I’m delusional as fuck.” This vivacious shouty Black girl has me snapping my fingers with such vigour it feels like church. Delusion is a mantra I’ve embraced into my life over the past year. I no longer choose to subscribe to reality, and instead, I am fuelled by my own delusions, which I know sounds completely insane, but it’s the only way I’ve been able to navigate the bitter harshness of reality. 

The concept is increasingly popular online, with people talking about how the practice has helped them remain calm in otherwise chaotic situations. Being delusional requires no outside intervention, ritual, or stones, just the assured belief that despite your current circumstances, you will be OK. The simplicity of delusion makes it so attainable, unlike modern manifestation, in which gurus have begun closely aligning themselves with the unregulated world of coaching and left many women out of pocket with no results.

We’ve all heard of The Law of Attraction which tells us that we should speak life to the things we want in hopes that they will materialise. ‘Delusion’ is a reframing of Neville Goddard’s ‘Law of Assumption’ in which he says: “dare to believe in the reality of your assumption and watch the world play its part relative to its fulfilment.” The Law of Assumption asks us to act, speak and feel as if we already have what we want, hoping that our dreams will catch up with us instead of chasing them. When you no longer feel burdened by reality, it is easy to shed limiting beliefs and create a reality for yourself that you are truly fulfilled. Despite his many faults, Kanye West feels like a perfect example of being completely delusional. His Netflix documentary ‘Jeen-Yuhs’ was so powerful because he had the foresight to believe in himself and the richness of his future despite it being so far away. Kanye's self-belief was contagious; those around him were compelled to feel the same way and inevitably helped him on his journey. 

While this sounds exceptionally farfetched, imagine what you were like as a child or even a teenager. Remember how nothing felt out of reach and that your surroundings did not define the scope of your dreams? I am more ‘realistic’ with age, which is natural, but to what extent has my reality taken away from my joy and curiosity. How much of what I claim to be “‘realistic”’ is really me limiting my potential? Delusion brings us back to a childlike state, unfettered by rules and boxes. Over the past few months, I have been slipping deeper into my ‘woo woo’ era; I get regular new moon readings, I seek spiritual advice from mysterious astrology Twitter accounts. I am redefining spirituality for myself, and as a part of this, The Law of Assumption has become paramount. I am taking a little time to detach from the dreariness of existence and frolic in an alternative world that I am convinced is within reach. In some ways, being able to separate from reality acts as a way to protect yourself. As a Black woman on the internet, you’re either met with constant abuse or reminded that you are part of the most unloved and unprotected group on earth. This barrage of information and abuse is demoralising and chips away at your sense of self-worth. It sometimes feels like you will never reach the goals you aspire to because your fate has been written. Imagining an alternate reality where I am soaring despite the limitations of my identity feels like a respite. 

It is by no means easy to be delusional; in fact, it is easier to remain preoccupied with the unrelenting misery of life. Take dating right now as a straight woman; anyone in it knows what it feels like: hungrily rummaging through garbage in hopes of maybe finding a half-eaten banana that will sustain you until tomorrow. It is demoralising to see myself aggressively barter for crumbs of affection and respect. Applying delusion to my love life looks like constantly working to remind myself that I am worthy of love, I’m not 'too much', and the companionship I desire is out there. Every day I look out at the toxic single-use-plastic-filled sea — I’m told there are plenty of fish in — and convince myself that someone is my match. Delusion is about taking stock of your surroundings and telling yourself there is more to life than this. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that our realities are shaped by outside forces and that we don’t think bad things into our life. However, I find some solace in asking myself, what if the best possible outcome happens? What if I start something and it’s a major success? What if I tell myself that I’m unforgettably beautiful every day? It hurts no one to believe that the best is happening for you, and as we enter Aries season, I can’t think of a better time to embrace the delusional idea that we will be OK.