The Icon Behind The Drag Queen Money Diary Interviews Their Drag Self

Crystal: About what?

Crystal: Oh, yeah! Really excited. You know, as a lifelong memoirist and poet laureate you forget how exciting these things really are. I guess I haven’t even taken the time to register what a moment this is for me. But after 217 books — all of which have won the Nobel Peace and Literature Prizes — you lose count!

Crystal: Well, you know, [Crystal leans over and whispers to her PR] this one is all about life. You know. About [her PR whispers to her] love, honesty, you know? I think in this time we really need honesty.

Crystal: Do I? [Her PR leans in once again.] Yes! I do! I think when I wrote this one, I desperately wanted to let people in on what we as drag performers face on a day-to-day basis — whether that’s the glory of finding your people or the mundanity of trying to find a job in the arts as a working class person. Whether it’s about money, or the lack thereof, or about sex — I think candidness for me has always been a tool to dismantle shame that society has placed upon people like me because we don’t fit into a preconceived, pointless normal. And, you know, the bit about when I was in a fight with a kangaroo in the outback — that’s just so raw! You know?

Crystal: Sure.

Crystal: You know, Alan, it’s always nerve-racking. Especially when you can’t quite gauge how this kind of work will go down. I have always felt quite alienated by books — I always feel too stupid to really understand literary works, and I always get so bored when something feels daunting or too clever for me. So I really wanted this to be a book that would help you keep reading, but also allow people like me access to theory through lived experience rather than lofty academia. That’s important, but it’s also so important to speak to people wider than those who already understand. I also think that work like this is always treated as niche or alt, but I think our experiences as LGBTQIA+ people are very human, and they speak to a kind of humanity that only people on the fringes have felt — one which I would say is much richer and full of culture and colour than if you’ve always been on this inside. I hope people like me will read this, and feel seen and loved by it. I hope people who aren’t like me will enjoy it, laugh with it, learn from it. And I hope people who don’t like me will file lawsuits just so I can wear my brand new leopard print skirt suit and bust their asses in court.

Crystal: They’re true. But everyone’s seen them anyway, so no big.

Crystal: Well, a severe case of gout. But also, publishing seems somewhat conservative. When we first pitched the book out, it was met with a lot of people who found it too niche, perhaps too grotesque. Maybe that’s my fault: I did start the proposal with a long story about this time a poo of mine floated onto the restaurant floor of KFC (it’s a corker, you’ll have to buy the book to read it in full). But one can’t help but feel like a niche story, a story that perhaps nobody wants. I think as queer people, and anyone from marginalised communities, we feel that. So overcoming a feeling of having your work undervalued because you’re not, I dunno, as fucking dull as Kerouac is something that took some time — and I’m so lucky that I have the most special family — both biological and chosen — and they really were the people who helped me keep thinking the work is valid. I also think that, in general, as a community we are always having to overcome, and as an individual there has been a lot of homophobia in my life, and so overcoming that from the age of 13 to now both helped and hindered when writing this book. I hope I’ve done people proud with it. Once the writing process started and I had an amazing publisher who was very behind the book from the off, it felt so freeing to be able to talk about this experience fully on my own terms. It was one of the first times I’ve written something so personal that it didn’t feel like I was selling my trauma. It was a space for me to speak on it, how I wanted to speak on it.

Crystal: Yes. But I said no because I can’t support anything related to a government that is essentially funding something as racist and xenophobic as Brexit.

Crystal: Well I was PM for six days last year, but my Insta was disabled at the time because Instagram seems intent on censoring queer bodies, so none of my friends, fans or followers know about it. I decided to leave politics, though, because of a scandal called 'Crystal-Gate' — you’ve heard of it? — which is when I tried to get every cis, white posh dude fired from parliament. Shame it never happened.

Crystal: Well, it’ll be my 33rd [Oscar]. I prefer a round number so that’s a bit frustrating.

Crystal: It’s dedicated to my community — the LGBTQIA+ community. To my mum and dad and siblings. To my grandma. To my partner, and queer siblings. To people like me who’ve ever felt lonely and lost because the world doesn’t get their difference. To 13-year-old me who was very worried.

Crystal: For the safety of myself and my community: yes. For myself and my community: no. We are the best thing ever.