Are UK Dating Shows Finally Giving Black Women A Fair Shot At Finding Love?

As Love Is Blind UK approaches this weekend’s season finale on Netflix, the question of whether Black women should participate in these kinds of programmes persists. Historically, Black women have been receiving the short end of the stick on British reality dating shows for decades. From Take Me Out to Love Island, Black women must often contend with the possibility of being considered second-best compared to their lighter and/or whiter counterparts, even if this does not reflect the realities experienced in their personal lives. Despite “always having suitors” in her day-to-day life, ex-Take Me Out star Zoe Unankah, for instance, shared concerns about being perceived as undesirable due to her race as a contestant: “There were times when people came down the love lift, and I thought, ‘They’re probably not into Black girls,” and that’s something that I’ve had to deal with when other girls on the show didn’t have to deal with that thought.” With the premise of the Love Is Blind franchise based on removing appearance-based discrimination during each potential couple's first encounters, are Black women finally getting a fair shot at finding love?

In series one of the UK edition, we follow brand and marketing head Nicole, 29, and her love triangle between product design manager Sam, 31, and structural landscaper Benaiah, 33. The visual dynamic of two men fighting for a Black woman’s affections to an audience of millions is a relative rarity within the British reality TV world. With Black British women’s journeys on these programmes overwhelmingly shaped by Black and mixed-race men — not a single Black woman on Love Island UK has left partnered with a man not of Black heritage, for example — this interchange proves even more uncommon.

Of course, we can reference dating statistics to further understand this idea. Both Black women and men are routinely reported to receive fewer matches on dating sites compared to their non-Black counterparts, with the now infamous 2014 OkCupid data on racial preferences revealing that Black women, Black men and Asian men face the most negative bias. All of these groups, particularly Black women and Asian men, have habitually been deprioritised in favour of contestants representing other demographics in British reality TV dating. This year’s only Asian male (and contestant) on Love Island, Munveer Jabbal, failed to find love and exited the villa in just the second week, for example. Online dating researcher Giulia Ranzini argues that this type of selection bias in favour of whiter and lighter people in image-focused environments is informed by an emphasis on race. In situations that lack the same social cues that influence attraction in the real world, potential suitors may revert to stereotypes to fill in knowledge gaps. We saw this phenomenon unfold in Love Island’s original format, where pairing solely based on appearance disadvantages Black women. Despite being as attractive as, or more attractive than, non-Black women on the show, they must also navigate racial prejudices that other Islanders either don’t face or encounter to a lesser degree. How “laid” a Black female contestant’s wig or weave is — often worn to assimilate to the beauty standard of straight or loosely curled hair — dominates much of the discourse surrounding specifically Black women on the show, for example.

Though this process has been replaced with a public vote to decide initial pairings, similar sentiments crop up, with the white and of colour Islanders never being matched together — almost as though it’s a “forbidden pairing”. On Love Is Blind, the starting barrier of looks is removed, allowing people who may not have closely interacted in alternative scenarios to find each other. With that being said, race typically informs culture and the challenges associated with these factors still often eventually arise once the couples spend time together without the dividing screen. Quoting Sam’s reaction to first seeing Nicole, one viewer wrote on Twitter, “Sam was NOT expecting Nicole to be Black. ‘I don’t care what anyone else thinks, to me she's freaking gorgeous.’” Although a seemingly benign comment, those familiar with how Black women are often perceived and received on dating shows may interpret Sam’s reaction as implying surprise or even suggesting that others might not find Nicole attractive due to her race. Additionally, PR and advertising consultant Steven, 38 and makeup artist Maria, 30, faced a culture clash that, although hinted at during the blind dating phase, has become more and more apparent as the series progresses. Coming from a Muslim, Moroccan background, Maria indicates on several occasions that she would like a “traditional” setup, with her husband being the “provider”. These values counteract Steven’s more Western ideal of a relationship where both partners work and significantly financially contribute to the household.

Ultimately, both couples fail to end in marriage, with Nicole returning to her connection with Benaiah (who she eventually married) and Steven saying no to Maria at the altar. These outcomes mirror the dynamics frequently seen in the US series. For example, viewers of season three noted multiple instances of microaggressions from Cole, who is white, towards Zanab, who is South Asian, concluding that Cole was not expecting Zanab to be a woman of colour, and this leading to a breakdown in their relationship once they could both see each other. Comments from Cole towards Zanab, like “You look different from anyone I’ve dated” and “I wouldn’t normally go after girls like you,” though much more blunt than Sam’s, can be interpreted to echo the same sentiments of shock, unfamiliarity and even disappointment. 

Though love is not truly as blind as the show’s title suggests, and race and culture continue to be factors affecting compatibility even when physical appearances are de-emphasised, this focus can still play out positively. Speaking on the relationship between software salesman Ollie, 33, and safeguarding and attendance manager Demi, 30, one Twitter user said, “Watching Love is Blind UK and I realised that the Black people always se[em] to find each other.” Although not ending in marriage, the trials and tribulations of their love story have kept Black viewers engaged throughout the series, helping audiences of colour connect through community in-jokes, which we also see regarding Black and mixed-race couples on Love Island. In turn, Love Island history was made on 29th July, with Mimi Ngulube and Josh Oyinsan becoming the first Black couple and first Black individual contestants to win the UK series. The pair joined Love Island USA’s Serena Page and Kordell Beckham, who were crowned winners on 21st July and Love Island Malta’s Clinton King and Tamika Ross, who won on 31st June, making the victory a Black Twitter clean sweep.

Overall, Black British women are having increasingly more complex narratives on reality TV dating shows that diverge from the “single Black female” and “Black best friend” tropes. This year, both Nicole and Mimi got their fairytale endings, an outcome that could not have prevailed without the Black women that came before them, but their rides there have not been without a few potholes. The diverse obstacles faced by Black women in this arena illustrate a slow but crucial evolution in how Black women in the mainstream are perceived and portrayed regarding love and desirability.