Sleeping with A Married Couple Helped Me Find Post-Lockdown Confidence

With shaking fingers, I zipped up my skin-tight dress and put on my black heels. It was my first time dressing up in months; my first time having someone to dress up for in months. After the total isolation of successive single lockdowns, I was about to break my fast. But not with one person. With two. 

My confidence was at rock bottom after heartbreak. When the dust finally settled, I fired up the usual apps in the hopes of finding a single guy for a long-term relationship. But the thought of making myself emotionally vulnerable with a man again, even for something casual, was terrifying. At the same time, the need for human touch was overwhelming.

The more I thought about it, the more I needed a safer space to reconnect with my sexuality. A couple seemed like the perfect solution: no expectations, just fun. My ex and I had made accounts on Feeld, an app for casual or group arrangements, although we didn’t make it as far as a threesome. Maybe to spite him, I logged back in. 

Browsing couples, I knew that as a rare ‘unicorn’ (a woman joining a couple), I could afford to be choosy – there was no way I wanted anything messy. Then I stumbled on Simon and Jane, a long-married couple who wanted to expand their horizons for the first time. Something clicked; they weren’t pretentious or posing like some of the others. As Simon and I chatted, I could sense he was both genuine and deeply committed to his wife, two big ticks for me. So, we decided to meet. 

After COVID-safe walks in the park with each of them, I knew I wanted to go ahead. I liked Simon’s easy-going and honest nature; I was attracted to Jane’s self-confidence and openness. These were people I could interact with as friends, not just a quick fumble. It was clear they wanted new and fun experiences, which I could provide, but both asked me the same question: what would you get out of this?

All I wanted was the chance to feel like a desirable woman again. 

Our first dinner together passed in a blur of nervous chatter. Jane cooked for us, and I realised with a jolt that this was my first time in someone else’s house in months. A flash of fear swept over me. Was I really about to take my clothes off in front of this couple I barely knew? I had only told one friend about my plans – meeting a married couple for sex wasn’t exactly the standard Saturday night, and I worried others would judge me. 

Luckily, Simon and Jane put me at ease, despite this being their first time at the rodeo. We decided to start off slowly with some massage, which itself felt like the first taste of sugar after months on a strict diet. Then things kicked up a gear, turning sexual between them. I hesitated to get involved at first, not wanting to break any boundaries. But Simon leaned over and kissed me, and I felt something long buried awaken within me. I was a sexual – and sexy – person. And the joy of rekindling human connection was doubled, because Jane was there too, her soft and gentle kisses contrasting with his hunger. 

I wasn’t sure if they’d want to repeat the experience, but they told me they really enjoyed it. A couple of weeks later, we were back together. Since then, we’ve met regularly, and things have just got better as we’ve learned more about each other – both inside and outside the bedroom. We’ve become close friends, an outcome we didn’t plan for, but something that has enriched my life greatly. At the same time, I’ve helped them try new things, like elements of kink, and brought a new dynamic into their lives. 

As normality resumes, I’ve also started dating. Simon and Jane are on hand with helpful advice and support! I’m taking them as a model of what I want to find: a relationship that’s loving, generous and sexy. We all know that when I find someone I want to pursue, things with the threesome will come to an end. Until that point, it satisfies my needs so I’m not jumping into bed with any random dude but can hold out for a good fit. And every couple of weeks I get to feel like a sex goddess with people I truly respect and admire. 

My ongoing threesome with a married couple has given me back my sex-positive mindset, the joy of human connection, and two great friends. Now I feel ready to face the world again.