A Week In Northern New Jersey On A $142,000 Joint Income

Occupation: Teacher/Writer
Industry: Education
Age: 32
Location: Northern New Jersey
My Salary: ~$50,000 (this varies and is an average as I work contract/freelance)
My Husband's Salary: $92,000
Net Worth: $110,107.82 (Assets: HYSA: $85,000 (spread across various funds for travel and savings, etc), my husband's IRA accounts: $13,500, my IRA accounts: $52,500, my 403(b) account: ~$980, investments: $4,068.85 minus debt.)
Debt: $5,500 (car loan), $36,800 (husband's student loans), $3,641.03 (my student loans)
My Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $844.62 (this changes since I'm freelance)
My Husband's Paycheck (2x/month): $2,821.60
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Rent: $2,350 (includes heat/hot water/sewage/amenities fee) for a one-bedroom that share with my husband
Parking: $132
Gas/Electric: $62
Car Payment: $260
My Student Loans: $1,000
My Husband's Student Loans: $0 (currently deferred).
Health Insurance: $0 (my husband's employer pays for both of us)
Car Insurance: $900 every six months
Dental Insurance: $90
Phone/Internet: $190
NY Times: $30
Spotify Family Plan: $14
Streaming: $30
LibroFM: $15
Donations: $40 (public radio, Planned Parenthood, local food bank)
IRAs: $750 combined
HYSA: ~$300
403(b): 5% of my paycheck (employer contributes 8%, my husband's company does not provide retirement options)
Betterment: $25
Annual Expenses:
Rental Insurance: $92
Jewelry Insurance: $200
Physical Therapy Insurance: $160

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes. My parents did not go to college but there was always an expectation that my siblings and I would so that we could have a better financial situation than them. It was assumed that we would figure out how to apply/pay once we got to that point. My parents didn't know a lot about the higher education system and so they focused more on making sure we did well enough in school to get into college. I always enjoyed school and did well, so college was really important to me. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do research, find out information about financial aid, and do well on the SATs. I didn't have a good understanding of how one paid for college beyond "get good grades to get scholarship money," though, and ended up going to a private out-of-state school, which did give me a decent amount of scholarship money, but not enough. I had to take out a bunch of loans to make up the difference, which I am just paying back now. I am the first person in my family to have gone to grad school, though I learned my lesson on that one and made sure I had a full scholarship and grant money and a teaching position so I didn't add to my debt with my second degree.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents opened savings accounts for my siblings and me where we put the money we got for our birthdays and they gave us an allowance for doing chores around the house so that we learned the value of work. When we went shopping, my mom always clipped coupons beforehand and taught us the difference between want and need.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was when I was 12 and I was a referee for children's soccer games, mostly because I was there already for my siblings' games and I figured I might as well. When I was a senior in high school, I worked part-time as a receptionist at an after-school care program where I got paid under the table in cash and I did that to have gas/going out money. In college, I worked a couple of jobs to pay rent.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Not particularly. My family lived in a very blue collar neighbourhood and a lot of kids at my school got free or reduced lunch, so even if my parents didn't have a lot of money saved up, we didn't live paycheck to paycheck, which made me feel like we were well-off by comparison. When I was very young my parents struggled a bit but there was always money for the necessities and they were good at stretching their budget so that my siblings and I never realised. When I got a little older, my dad got a much better-paying job and they apparently stressed a lot less after that (though, again, I was never really aware). We went on family vacations once a year and my parents always paid for us to do clubs and sports.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I worry because my husband and I live in a high cost-of-living area and we started our marriage with significant student loan debt and didn't really pay much attention to saving/investing/retirement accounts for several years, though we are trying to make up for that now. We worry that we're throwing away too much money on rent, but when we tried to buy a house last year, it was at the height of the market frenzy, and we lost out on several bidding opportunities. I also worry from time to time because a few years ago, I quit my well-paying corporate job to go back to grad school, and I've been cobbling together part-time/freelance/contract work since then, so my income can be a little unstable, but I love the flexibility and feel so much better, mentally. I also know that in spite of all those worries, my husband and I are much better situated than so many other people in the United States and we could likely weather any difficulties, so most of my concerns are pretty abstract.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
22, when I graduated from undergrad, though my parents continued to pay for my phone and my car insurance until I was 25. My husband and I have built up a pretty significant financial safety net. We could also move in with our parents if we needed.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents gave me $1,500 during my senior year of college to fix my car because I didn't have the funds to pay for it myself and I needed the car to get to work. They also gifted me said car during my senior year of high school because my dad got a new one. We received $15,000 from my parents and $5,000 from my husband's parents to put towards our wedding five years ago. No passive or inherited income.

7:30 a.m. — Wake up when my alarm goes off. Shuffle out of bed and into the kitchen to put on the kettle for tea. Then lay on the sofa scrolling through Instagram and the New York Times. Drink my tea slowly. Open my laptop and attempt to start creating my lesson plan and assignments for the two writing classes that I teach today. Do not get very far.

9 a.m. — Decide to shower and eat some breakfast in the hopes that I can jolt my brain and body into action. Shower, put on moisturiser (CeraVe AM 30 SPF, as recommended by my dermatologist), and get dressed (short sleeved floral blouse tucked into a denim high-waisted pencil skirt with brown leather boots and a sweater.) Make some breakfast for myself and my husband, N. (scrambled egg and bacon on a toasted English muffin). I also cut up some strawberries for both of us to take to work. After eating, I brush my teeth and put on makeup (Bobbi Brown Foundation, matte powder, blush, light purple M.A.C eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara). I also blowdry my hair. N. heads out the door to drive to work (he's a physical therapist), and I get back to lesson planning and creating assignments for today's classes.

11:30 a.m. — Pack my lunch, get my stuff together, and mask up to head out the door to the train station. I buy my train tickets in bulk because they're discounted so I don't pay today. I walk a couple of blocks from the train station to the university. It's a beautiful day out and the sun shining on my face improves my mood considerably. Once I get to work, I put my stuff down in my office, make some copies, and catch up on administrative work (uploading course files to our e-learning system, sending out reminder emails to students, and grading).

1 p.m. — I have office hours from 1-2 on Mondays. By 1:50, I figure no one is coming, so I close my door to take my mask off and eat lunch — a half of a leftover Reuben sandwich from when N. and I went out to dinner yesterday, some strawberries, and a clementine. Then I mask up (my university is still requiring masks in classrooms) and teach my two classes back-to-back.

5:30 p.m. — Class ends and I walk back down to my office with a student who has some questions. I reassure her about her progress on her essay, then send out email updates with the homework for our next class and reminders about upcoming assignments and readings. I snack on a banana as I finish up to try and keep my energy from flagging.

6:30 p.m. — Quitting time! Pack up and head to the train. I realise once I get to the station that I must have misread the timetable because the train isn't coming for 15 minutes. Oh well. It's nice outside so I hang out on a bench, enjoying the fact that it's still light outside in the evenings now.

7:15 p.m. — I get home, put my stuff down upstairs, and then grab the mail. It's our Home Fresh delivery (and I see we got charged for it) — we've been getting two meals every other week because we had a coupon code, though I'm going to cancel after this week because the discount is expiring. I grab a lime seltzer from the fridge and then wash the dishes/load the dishwasher from this morning, then check out our meals. I decide to make the Southern Fried Shrimp Tacos with Chipotle Ranch Slaw. N. gets home from work while I'm cooking, and he's on the phone with our friend, P. He puts her on speaker phone for a bit and the three of us chat. After they hang up, we chat about our days while I finish up dinner. N. grabs a beer from the fridge. $29.99

8:15 p.m. — We eat dinner while watching an episode of Succession. We were latecomers to the show, so we're just catching up now. We watch the second-to-last episode of season three, which ends on quite a cliffhanger! After, we debrief on who we think is the most awful Roy this week — I vote Shiv!

9:15 p.m. — N. has noticed that our desk chair has been scratching the floor. He researches rubber mats, but we decide those look too corporate, and instead order a small grey area rug from Wayfair, which we think will go nicely with our larger white-and-grey area rug in our living room. $45.84

9:45 p.m. — N. and I have been slowly working our way through a Coursera course on screenwriting, so we spend some time writing our scripts. Afterward, he plays a video game on the computer and I waste time on the internet and munch on Girl Scout cookies. I tried a new flavour this year, Toffee-Tastic. Not bad, but not my favourite.

10:30 p.m. — Close my laptop, lay on the couch, and pick up my latest book, The Red Parts by Maggie Nelson. It's a memoir about Nelson's attendance at the court trial of her aunt's accused murderer decades after her aunt's death.

11 p.m. — Bedtime. Brush my teeth, wash my face with Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser, and moisturise with BeautyStat Moisture Boost Cream. I can barely bring myself to wash my face most nights, so I try to keep a minimal routine. N. and I head to bed. I continue reading my book until I drift off.

6:30 a.m. — Wake up briefly as N.'s alarm goes off, but then fall immediately back asleep.

7:30 a.m. — My alarm goes off. Ugh. Time to get up. I never have been a morning person and I have learned to accept this about myself after many failed attempts to change. When I sit up I notice I have a slight headache; I think it's because I didn't drink enough water yesterday, I resolve to drink more today. Shuffle into the living room, still half-asleep, and put on the kettle. Drink my tea while reading the New York Times morning briefing. N. puts his lunch together, gives me a kiss, and heads out to work shortly after I wake up. Eventually, I feel awake enough to make myself some breakfast. I have cereal and a fruit smoothie with frozen berries, a banana, plain probiotic yogurt, and whole milk. I also take some Advil once I've eaten.

9 a.m. — Make another mug of tea and start work on my novel revisions. This is probably a good time to mention that I used to have a corporate job that paid well, but it was not really what I wanted to do with my life, so a couple of years ago I decided to change direction. I went to grad school and wrote a novel as part of my program (I graduated last May). I initially got the job as an adjunct professor at my university as part of my funding package and stayed on after graduation. I freelanced a lot in grad school, but I am getting close to finishing revisions on my novel, so I wanted to take this semester off of freelancing and focus solely on teaching and revising the book. I plan to go back to freelancing this summer when I will not be teaching.

12 p.m. — Finish up revisions for the day. Brush my teeth, change into workout gear, then do a 30-minute Zumba workout on our Nintendo Switch. The Zumba game is pretty corny and it makes me feel ridiculous, but I usually enjoy it more than going down to the gym in our building. After exercising, I jump in the shower, then moisturise and get dressed (no makeup today since I'm not going anywhere). I then heat up a can of Amy's Southwestern Vegetable Soup for lunch and crumble in a few Saltine crackers I had in the pantry.

1:30 p.m. — After I finish eating, I work on some teacher/admin tasks, including finishing progress reports, reviewing homework, grading essays, and lesson planning.

3:30 p.m. — Take a break from all the paperwork to go on a walk because it is a very nice spring day. There is a park right down the block from my apartment and I like to make good use of it. I love where I live because it's a very walkable neighbourhood. After I get back, I grab a lime seltzer and some pistachios and continue to work on lesson planning.

5:30 p.m. — I call my mom and we catch up on our weeks. We also discuss plans for celebrating my brother's birthday this weekend. I agree to go in with my parents and my other brother on a gift for him (a standing desk for his new job in which he will be working remotely. Not the most exciting gift, but hey, it's what he wants!) I send the money ($30) to my dad via Zelle. $30

6 p.m. — While I'm talking to my mom, N. gets home. He stopped to get groceries on his way from work. He pulls out cherry turnovers he got from the grocery store for us to snack on. Other groceries he got include seltzers, bacon, butter, cheese, elbow pasta, popcorn chicken, peanut butter, salsa, buffalo sauce, pretzels, asparagus, blueberries, bananas, onions, potatoes, and oranges ($101.38). I watch an episode of My Brilliant Friend (cannot recommend the show AND the books enough, SO, SO good), and N. plays video games. $101.38

7:30 p.m. — N. makes dinner, a vegetable soup with chicken stock, carrots, onion, celery, other random veggies found in the fridge, as well as some canned beans we have in the cabinet, and couscous. We watch an episode of The Americans on Amazon Prime as we eat. After dinner, N. does the dishes and his laundry (which he admirably folds and puts away right away, unlike me), and continues to play his video game while I read more of my book.

11 p.m. — Bedtime. Wash face, moisturise, brush teeth, then read more in bed until I fall asleep.

7:30 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I am really not feeling it today. N., who has been up for an hour already, comes in and, seeing my struggle, turns on the light and starts talking to me so I don't fall back asleep. It's a gesture I'll appreciate later, though I don't enjoy it now. After N. leaves for work, I read the morning briefing in the New York Times. Then, I finally drag myself out of bed and put the kettle on for tea. I also make a scrambled egg with cheese on a toasted English muffin for breakfast. While eating, I read through my teaching emails and respond to late-night student requests and questions and finalise my lesson plans for today. Today's lesson is about conducting research, and it's the baseline for what we're working on for the rest of the semester, so I want to make sure I'm well-prepared.

10 a.m. — Head out to the train after showering and getting ready. Today I wear a gray belted shirt dress with a floral pattern (I'm discovering that I clearly have a thing for floral patterns), black tights, and black leather boots. Scroll Instagram on the train. Once I get to work, I put my lunch in the fridge and get set up. Respond to emails from students and work on finalising today's lesson. I have office hours at 11, but no one comes. I eat a banana from my packed lunch.

1 p.m. — Teach my first class of the day. I'm using a multimedia room that is not my normal classroom in order to review how to use the library databases, so I arrive early to make sure there are no issues getting logged in/projecting.

2:30 p.m. — First class, done. Whew, that was a lot of talking. Heat up my lunch (leftover soup from last night) and then jump on a Zoom call with my union. The union is putting together a new employment contract. I mute myself and keep my camera off so I can eat, respond to emails, and send out reminders about homework assignments.

4 p.m. — Time for class two! Some students seem a little overwhelmed, but we'll keep working at it. I have a few students come to my office after class with questions, then I upload the materials for homework to my course page and send out reminder emails. I'm packing up and getting ready to head out when my colleague stops by and we chat a bit about our classes before we head out.

6:45 p.m. — While I'm on the train home, my mom texts to let me know that my brother's fiancée, R., who he lives with, tested positive for COVID (it's a breakthrough infection, she's vaccinated), so we won't be celebrating his birthday together this weekend as planned. Womp. R. says she's feeling okay, just a sore throat and some achiness.

7 p.m. — Arrive home and immediately flop onto the couch. N. got home before me today and tells me that the rug we purchased a few days ago has arrived! I like the way it looks with our desk and “work area,” it helps to separate the space between that and the “living area” which is really just a corner of the same room. Grab a lime seltzer from the fridge and practically inhale the last cherry turnover.

8 p.m. — N. makes dinner, heating up frozen beer-battered halibut filets, making mashed potatoes, and sauteeing asparagus in garlic and oil. While he cooks, I read my book, and while we're eating, we both discuss the books we've been reading. After dinner, N. pours himself a whiskey and reads while I watch another episode of My Brilliant Friend.

11 p.m. — Bedtime! Usual bedtime routine.

7:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off and it is dark and rainy and gloomy and I am still sleepy. I don't have to teach today so I shut off my alarm and get back in bed.

9 a.m. — Ooof. Did not expect to sleep for THIS long. I would have probably slept even longer except N. came in to make sure I was all right. He lays with me for a bit as I wake myself up. I finally make it out of bed, put the tea kettle on, and settle in on the couch to do some writing/revising while drinking tea and eating a toasted English muffin with butter and raspberry jam. N. gives me a kiss and heads out for work around 10.

12:15 p.m. — I find a good stopping point for my writing. Even though I'm a bit reluctant to work out today, I get up and change into workout clothes to do a 30-minute Zumba class on the Switch.

12:30 p.m. — ….or not. The Switch and the TV seem to be having some sort of issue communicating with each other. I try to figure out how to fix it for a few minutes, but I'm terrible at these sorts of things and give up pretty quickly. I jump in the shower instead.

1:30 p.m. — After I shower, I moisturise, brush my teeth, get dressed (Lucky Brand mom jeans and a red-and-white striped crop top, under a black, unstructured zip-up blazer), and then decide to take an at-home rapid COVID test, not because I think I have COVID (N. and I are both vaxxed and boosted and wear our masks anywhere it's required), but for a few other reasons: 1. I have been slightly sneezier than usual these last few days. 2. I have a dentist appointment this afternoon and then I'm going to dinner at a friend-from-grad school's apartment and he has a newborn baby, so it doesn't hurt to be too careful, and 3. I have a box of COVID tests that are expiring at the end of the month. Test is negative, which is expected but also a relief. After, I finish getting ready and heat up some lunch, an Amy's Mexican Casserole frozen meal.

2:40 p.m. — Wash some dishes, brush my teeth again (don't want to show up at the dentist with a dirty mouth), and grab my umbrella before heading to the train to travel a couple of towns over for my dentist appointment. $2.25

3:30 p.m. — I get to the dentist a little early, so I stop by a liquor store in town to pick up a bottle of wine to bring to my friend's apartment later. $20.25

5 p.m. — Done with the dentist and I get a clean bill of teeth health! N. and I pay for dental insurance, so the office will bill them first and then send an invoice later for whatever the insurance doesn't cover. I wander around town a bit while waiting for the train to the city, but it's misty and cold, so then I take refuge in the library until the train comes, and buy another train ticket. $8.50

7 p.m. — After train delays and then having to ride the subway a ways uptown (I use a pre-filled Metro card for the subway ride), I finally make it to my friend, K.'s and his wife, A.'s, apartment and get to meet their baby boy! Shortly after I arrive, our other friend from grad school, X., gets there, and we drink cocktails and chat. It's very nice to see and talk with them again since most of our grad school bonding time was derailed by COVID. K. and A. order a couple of “to-share” Ethiopian platters to eat (they treat), and we hang out and talk about writing and share notes on trying to get jobs in academia. Conclusion: It's rough out there.

10:30 p.m. — X. and I head out and get back on the subway downtown (pre-loaded Metro card again). I get off at Penn Station. Stupidly, I didn't really look at the train times before leaving and I missed a train by about five minutes, and now I have to wait about an hour for the next one. I purchase a ticket while I wait. $7.25

11 p.m. — It's hot and crowded in this station and I feel dehydrated, so I get a Coke from a convenience store. Once I finally get on the train, I keep myself awake by finishing up my book. $3

12:45 a.m. — Finally get home, get into my PJs and brush my teeth in the dark, so as not to disturb N., and fall into a restless sleep.

6:30 a.m. — N. gets up and shuts his alarm off before it goes off, but I haven't been sleeping very well, so I hear him anyway.

9:30 a.m. — Still don't feel very well-rested, but at this point, it's only going to throw off my sleep schedule so I get up and make tea and breakfast — a toasted English muffin with a scrambled egg and cheese. After eating, I move from the table to the couch to work on revisions for my book.

2 p.m. — Land at a stopping place for today. I jump on our stationary bike for a workout. I listen to an episode of the Maintenance Phase podcast while pedalling, then do some weightlifting, brush my teeth, and jump in the shower.

3:15 p.m. — I make myself lunch of tuna salad with celery, mayo, mustard, and capers, and put it on a toasted English muffin. I have a little bit of leftover tuna salad so I pack it away for snacking purposes and eat an orange. I then load the dishwasher and put our sheets in the wash. Then, I sit down at the desk and lesson plan/review student work, but only manage a few things before my attention wanders and I mostly just end up surfing the web.

5:45 p.m. — N. gets home and we watch an episode of Our Flag Means Death (totally recommend, very funny and smart, and also a lot of fun cameos) and then cook dinner, and by cook I mean heat up frozen popcorn chicken and sweet potato fries. N. tosses the chicken in buffalo sauce and we eat while watching another episode. I don't love the sauce that we tossed it in and so don't really eat much of it and am still hungry after.

8 p.m. — I watch an episode of Bridgerton on Netflix and make a box of Annie's white cheddar mac and cheese. About halfway through, I realise the apartment has filled with smoke and something smells like it's burning. N. and I open the door to our balcony to avoid setting off the fire alarm, then go on a quest to find what's burning. N. picks up a rubber-ended spoon that has fallen against the pot of mac and cheese and in one fell swoop burns his finger and discovers that the spoon is the culprit. I get M some ice and remove the spoon from the danger zone, then go back to making/eating my mac and cheese and generally feeling bad that I caused this mess. N. plays video games one-handed.

10:30 p.m. — We are both tired and cranky and decide to go to bed. Super great Friday night!

8:30 a.m. — Get up feeling well-rested. N. has already been up for a bit journaling and making coffee. He says his finger feels much better. I make some loose-leaf orange black pekoe tea and steep it with milk and a little honey. N. and I chat a bit as he plays his video game and I scroll through Instagram and read the NY Times morning briefing.

9:30 a.m. — I wash the dishes from last night (still feeling a little guilty about the spoon fiasco) and unload the dishwasher. I then make blueberry pancakes with berry compote (frozen mixed berries heated with butter and maple syrup), for breakfast. We then take showers, brush our teeth, moisturise, and get dressed.

11:30 a.m. — Head out for errands. We walk since it's a nice day out. First, we go to the library, drop off the books we finished, and get new ones. Then we go to the grocery store and buy supplies for wine and cheese night. N. is making a flourless chocolate cake with raspberries and whipped cream, while I am making a mezze spread — hummus, olive tapenade, and tzatziki, with pita. We pick up whipping cream, raspberries, pita, tahini, bittersweet chocolate, olives, canned chickpeas, Greek yogurt, eggs, parsley, lemons, cucumber, and garlic. $51.15

1 p.m. — Get home, unpack our things, and get prepped to start making our snacks/desserts. We listen to my Fleetwood Mac as we cook/bake. It's very chill and enjoyable! After a while, N. notices his cake is rising weirdly. We cross our fingers that it fixes itself.

2:45 p.m. — N. pulls his cake out of the oven and we break for lunch. I heat up the buffalo chicken for N. and the leftover mac and cheese from last night for me. We eat while the cake cools. After eating, I clean up the dishes and N. examines his cake. Some of the water seeped into the pan and so it didn't cook correctly. I tell him he should mix it with the whipped cream and berries to make an Eton mess/trifle-y type dessert instead. I make my final dip and cut up the pita into triangles. After I clean up my space, I work on my script. I also start an application for a full-time faculty job.

5:15 p.m. — Time to get ready to head out. I change into nicer clothes and put on makeup while N. preps his whipped cream. Then we both head out to take the train to the city (N. has two tickets from a previous trip that we didn't end up using) and then head uptown on the subway (we both use pre-loaded Metro cards). While on the train and the subway, we both listen to the Trojan Horse podcast from Serial. Once we get to our friends' apartment, we add our goodies to the kitchen island. It's going to be a good night.

1 a.m. — Such a good night! We ate a lot of food and drank a lot of wine. Probably too much wine. We do manage to get ourselves back on the subway, onto the train ($14.50 for both tickets), and into our beds without issue. $14.50

8 a.m. — N. groans as he gets up and goes to grind his coffee beans. I cannot even manage that, and after opening my eyes, promptly close them again.

9:30 a.m. — Okay, better. I manage to sit up and scroll through my phone. N. kindly brings me a glass of water, which I chug. Eventually, I make it out of bed and put on the kettle for tea. I drink my tea while watching several episodes of Bridgerton.

11 a.m. — N. makes potato hash with chopped potatoes, cayenne pepper, onions, and eggs fried over-easy. Then, N. and I work on our scripts and provide feedback to our classmates.

3:30 p.m. — We take a walk outside around the park to get some fresh air. On our way back to the apartment, we stop at 7-Eleven and get sodas and snacks (Bugles and ice cream). $12.71

7 p.m. — I make the second Home Chef meal, spicy poblano and black bean chili with chipotle crema. While we eat, we watch the final two episodes of Our Flag Means Death. OMG, this show is so cute! I hope HBO will order another season!?!?

9 p.m. — Try to do a little cleaning and organizing to get ourselves together before the week starts again. Then, N. plays his video game and I read until bedtime.

11 p.m. — Wash face, moisturise, brush teeth, and lights out! Good night!