Lindsay Lohan Now Available For Bar Mitzvahs?

Maybe some of us hold on to our Mean Girls DVDs with serious sentimentality. Maybe we even tuned in to Liz & Dick with bated breath. Or maybe we follow LiLo on Twitter in hopes to see, for once, some good news. If any of these scenarios sound familiar, look away, for you shall surely be depressed.

Seems the New York Post received an email claiming to be from the management of troubled actress Lindsay Lohan announcing her availability for parties, weddings, Bat Mitzvahs, and other personal events for which serious entertainment is needed. The email (which you can see here), announces that it is possible to "book one of Hollywood's biggest movie stars Lindsay Lohan now!" Things that are not mentioned include: legal woes, back taxes, or troublesome Lifetime movies.

At this point, there are three ways to go: Cling to whatever shred of credibility she has and attempt to continue navigating the minefield of her life with its present course. Pull a Charlie Sheen and quit taking herself seriously. Or, disappear into the mountains in a search for self-discovery, coming down a wizened, grizzled ninja, a la Bruce Wayne in The Dark Knight. So, yes LiLo, go find your inner Batman. (Radar)