Uncover Your Eyes, Kids — The Internet Just Got Clean

We love the Internet, but it’s fair to say it’s a minefield out there — full of nasty viruses and damaging sights for innocent eyes. But no more. David Cameron has just done a brilliant thing for British people and banned all online porn. Say hello to an all new and innocent World Wide Web.

Cracking down on online sleaze and tackling the Internet pornography that is “corroding children”, serious measures are finally being taken. All new broadband customers will have adult content automatically disabled, and by the end of next year, the 19 million current web-surfing households will have to opt-in or opt-out of being able to access the XXX sites. This welcomed change comes as a result of the Daily Mail’s campaigning to have adult content filters on search engines as “default on.” Cameron, who made a speech at the NSPCC said, “I’m not making this speech because I want to moralise or scaremonger, but because I feel profoundly as a politician, and as a father, that the time for action has come. This is, quite simply, about how we protect our children and their innocence.”

Good work, Cameron. Just, um, why wasn’t this done already? (Oh No They Didn't!)