The Scandal Recap Ridiculist: Everything’s Coming Up Mellie

This episode was billed as all Mellie, all the time. It certainly was Bellamy Young's time to shine, but we could barely get past the mother of a reveal. (We know, we know — we say this every time, but this episode was truly insane.) Also, it was great to see the Gladiators working on a case that we could really get into. Not that we don't find philandering senators or murderous rich kids fascinating, but Pope & Associates' clients just seem like a very obvious B-plot. We wanted to find out what happened with the plane crash as much as Olivia and co. did, so we found ourselves cheering them on with the enthusiasm of a die-hard football fan during overtime. Go team! Now, onto the Ridiculist.

First, we have to bring up the flashbacks on this show. The blurry camera work is not doing it for us. We know the writers just want us to get that we're in the past, but give us a little credit: There's a dead guy in the scene!

Oh. My. God. Cyrus with a beard. We don't even know what to say, besides great Movember timing, Team Shonda.

How is it possible that Cy and Fitz still hadn't figured out who Liv's dad is? Surely, there have been some clues along the way, like the fact that Command was just a little too interested in her goings-on.

"You're way better at picking out whores than you are china patterns." While we don't condone sending escorts to married men as bait, this little take-down-Mr.-Langston ploy provided us with our favorite quote of the episode all time.

"I'm going to hug you now." Abby's rigid sentiment towards Olivia gets second place, for reminding us just how dang awkward Olivia can be.

Please tell us Quinn sees through Charlie. If not, we're going to have to try and figure out what his game is, and that takes more energy than we have.

We could not be more sympathetic towards Mellie if we tried. Everything that we learn about her past makes us hurt for her, more and more. Sure, it sometimes seems like she has her values reversed, but man — what a rock.

We've said it before and we'll say it again: Fitz is damn presidential. After the first couple's TV interview, even this writer's boyfriend, who has seen approximately seven minutes of Scandal in his life, remarked, "He's not a politician for nothing." Word.

Okay, after Charlie tricked Quinn into killing the security guard, we're preettyyyy sure she's not onto him. And, we're pretty sure we get what Charlie's up to.

Oh. Snap. We know we predicted the whole Mom-coming-back-from-the-dead thing (she said goodbye a little too seriously before she got on that plane), but we did not think she would be in jail.

Do we even want to know whose baby Mellie gave birth to? We think no. This subject matter is just a little too tragic for a Friday morning.