In Defense Of Clumpy Mascara

I honestly don't care whether or not a mascara promises to be "clump-free." I know this goes against the fundamental rules of eyelash care, but I want my lashes thick, spidery, spiky — and, yes, clumpy. Regardless of a mascara's clumping or anti-clumping properties, I'm going to pile it on until it gets there.

Maybe this habit is a result of having skin so pale that not using a whole pile of mascara makes my eyelids blend seamlessly with the whites of my eyes (if I'm sans eyeliner, that is). Either way, I think mascara looks better when you can tell it's mascara — if I'm going for a natural look, I just won't wear eye makeup.

Before you start yelling at me about how I'm doing my makeup wrong, allow me to direct your attention to the beauty look at Saint Laurent's Paris fashion show. Please note the clumpy mascara. Yes, it's exaggerated for the runway, but look how awesome it is. Long lashes don't always have to be pretty and soft; they can be badass and grungy, like a spiked necklace around your eyeball. Sometimes a girl just needs makeup that says, "Don't mess with me," you know?

The Parisian fabulousness of the makeup at Saint Laurent aside, fierce women have been rocking this look forever: Twiggy, Liza Minnelli, and Shelley Duvall, for starters — not to mention celebs in recent years, like Kristen Stewart. Of course, the polite thing to do is call it "spidery lashes," but we know the truth. They wouldn't exist without the clumpiness. And, maybe it's time we all start embracing the clump rather than giving it a bad name. Who's with me?