Photo: Via YouTube.
As we've said before, we're not feeling the backlash against Wren's "First Kiss" video. If people can weep over the unlikely friendship between a puppy and a horse who sell beer together, then why is this even an issue? Just sit back and enjoy the snogging, people.
That said, whether you've turned salty on the whole affair or you're still in love with the black-and-white images of pretty people pressing lips, there's one thing we can all agree on. Some of the parody videos that have sprouted up over the last couple days are darn funny.
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To ease you into your well-deserved weekend, we collected a few of our faves. Here, we have puppies, kids, and others kissing, fist-bumping, and doing some rather unmentionable things to each other for the first time (supposedly). Granted, they aren't quite as glossy and charming as the original. But, even without Wren's big budget, these shoe-string flicks help put this wonderful viral phenomenon to bed just in time for the weekend. Well done, everybody.
Let's start out with the first one we saw (it actually surfaced the day after the original). "First Sniff" by Mother London is adorable, even if it gets a little PG-13 in parts.
Video: Via YouTube.
"First Snog" is even more of an ad than the original "First Kiss" in that "snog" is not only a U.K. synonym for kissing, but, apparently, a brand of frozen yogurt. We see what you did there, guys.
Video: Via YouTube.
In the world of bros, a fist bump can be just as intimate than a kiss (sometimes more if you're fist
bumping the right bro). Indeed, "First Fist Bump" really tests the limits of human connection in that regard.
Video: Via YouTube.
Much like a first kiss or a first fist bump, the first time you fart in front of your partner is a big deal. It's a display of acceptance and familiarity. Honestly, what's going on in this video brings tears to our eyes. It also makes us cry (heh).
Video: Via YouTube.
And, here are two young gentlemen engaging in another form of intimacy for the first time.
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Video: Via YouTube.
This one lampoons "First Kiss" as a corporate ploy. For the record, Wren is an indie label. While we can't agree with the message of this vid, at least we finally got to see Colonel Sanders and Ronald McDonald make out. We've been dreaming of this moment since we were kids.
Video: Via YouTube.
Jimmy Fallon knows what the people want. That's why he's the new host of The Tonight Show. As always, the people want puppies and kittens and, as always, Fallon gives 'em what they want.
Video: Via YouTube.
"First Kiss" was well coordinated with people who are used to being on camera and knew what they were getting into. What if that wasn't the case? Well, it might look like this.
Video: Via YouTube.
Part of what made the original "First Kiss" work is that all the partners played it cool, shy, and respectful. When you establish genuine mutual trust from the get go, normal social barriers can fall rather quickly. If you don't play it cool, shy, and respectful though, well...
Video: Via YouTube.
Millions of people are addicted to the world-building game Minecraft. With simple tools, users recreate famous buildings, movie and TV sets, landscapes, and pretty much anything under the sun. There's no reason viral videos of people kissing should be left out of the fun.
Video: Via YouTube.
Ok, now you're just being weird.
Video: Via YouTube.
Go home, Internet. You're drunk.
Video: Via YouTube.
Finally, we have "First Handjob" in which...um...Look, we're not prudes or anything, but we're constantly being told to keep things classy around here and we value our jobs. It's safe for work, but only just.
Video: Via YouTube.
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