Being a mom is exhausting.
We work 24 hours a day, seven days a week — sometimes on very little sleep. On the days I'm not feeling like a great mom, I try to look at it as my day off, give myself a break. I realize that when you're a mom, there's no real break, but you can't be a great mom if you're not giving yourself a chance to recharge. For me, that means not demanding perfection of myself every hour of every single day.
My kids still love me on days when I'm not a great mom.
I'm not Wonder Woman, and it's okay for my kids to see that. I might not make it to every school event, but this will not cause our bond to come undone. In fact, if we make up that time by creating our own events, the closeness only gets stronger. I think it's helpful for my kids to have witnessed a couple of failed family-time attempts, so we can all better appreciate the time we do spend together.
I'm always upfront when I have to leave work for a family event, and I always make up the hours later. Everyone knows not to expect to see me online during my kids' bedtime, but by 9 p.m., they know I'll be glued to my laptop.
Each day and each hour has the potential to be filled with ups and downs, tears and laughter, a sense of accomplishment and a sense of failure. It's important to recognize these ebbs and flows as a part of life. We need to accept ourselves for who we are — the good, the bad, and the ugly — because this is what will teach our children to accept themselves and their inevitable imperfections.
We don't live an over-scheduled life on the weekends. Everyone stays busy enough during the week that we like to slow way down on the weekends. Cooking, baking, and sometimes simply ordering in takeout make for an awesome Saturday. I don't put pressure on myself to have a homemade Sunday dinner each week; rather, our tradition is to not have a tradition.
I believe I'm a better mom because I have a career, and that works for my family. I also believe I'm setting good examples for my children, especially my daughter, who has a strong career-oriented role model in her life. I applaud stay-at-home moms everywhere — because god knows that isn't an easy job — but it's not for me, and my kids understand that.
I'm a mom first.
On set sometimes I break away for Skype calls with my kids. If I'm traveling during the school week, which is most of the time, this might mean doing homework with them over the phone. They think this is hilarious, and they also hate it because it means I'm watching them all the time. But, it's a way to keep us close even when I'm geographically far away.
I missed my son's guitar recital at school by 5 minutes, and I felt gutted. I had flown home just to be there for that and missed it! I think my son felt worse than I did when he saw my gushing tears, so we decided he would put on a special concert just for me which turned into him playing with the band at a party for the Eastbound & Down cast and crew.
When I'm not working, and my show is on hiatus, I tend to go overboard and schedule large sleepovers and trips. The kids and I love them equally!