We're totally aware that the 2014 Nobel prizes have all been doled out, but is it too late to add one more to the list of honorees?
In fact, the geniuses behind the Sriracha 2 Go keychain should win all the awards, ever. Oscars, Pulitzers, People's Choice, you name it. Heck, give them the title of Miss Iceland for all we care! Just give them something. Anyone who invents a 1.25-ounce refillable keychain bottle of the iconic hot sauce deserves to never have an empty trophy case again.
Hear that? It's the sound of bland pieces of pizza everywhere, cowering in fear. Sorry, you pepperoni-faced jerks. Your days are numbered.
You can order your boring-pizza-murderer for $7 here (Sriracha not included).
Just don't sit on it.